


Bitter Chords

by justkindaherechilling



Category: Voltron - Fandom, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Attempted Sexual Assault, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Depression, Fluff and Angst, Gay Keith (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance is music journalist, M/M, Smut (?), Tattoos, just generally doubting themselves, keith is a musician, kinda spicy, some homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-25 22:52:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 47,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19755388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justkindaherechilling/pseuds/justkindaherechilling
Summary: Lance is a struggling Music Journalist looking for inspiration. Keith is a musician that lost his music. But, once they find each other they realize what they needed had been in front of them all along.





	Bitter Chords

**Author's Note:**

> Wow ok. Hey. For all y'all that are waiting for an update on Found, I swear to god its coming. I just graduated University and I've been struggling with just like, real life. 
> 
> So take this really shitty and self indulgent one shot fic instead. 
> 
> (More notes at the end)

_Lance_

Lance couldn’t pedal fast enough.

He thought he had remembered to set his alarm last night, but when he woke up at 8 instead of 6 he knew he would be in for the lecture of his life. Taking his life in his hands he sped through a red light, earning several car honks and angry exclamations. “Oh save it!” Lance yelled back, turning his head to find the angry car drivers.

This, Lance would reflect later, was just one of the many things he did wrong that day. Rolling his eyes he turned so he was facing forward and immediately swerved to avoid hitting some idiot on the sidewalk. Luckily his bike didn’t tip all the way over, but it was enough to make Lance screech to a halt and take a few deep breathes.

“Jesus, I am _so_ sorry.” Lance’s voice was pitched a bit higher than usual, and he struggled to get his leg over his bike so he could see whom he almost murdered. He pushed his hair out of his eyes and finally turned around and lifted his eyes. _Oh._

A man about his age stood staring wide-eyed at him, clutching a box to his chest. Lance blinked a few times and then offered his apology again. “Hey, I’m sorry… I’m running late for work and I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

The man smirked and readjusted his grip on the box he was holding. “Hey its ok man. Should’ve paid more attention.” With that mystery guy walked into the storefront in front of them.

Lance shook his head and picked up his bike and hurried across the street. Quickly locking his bike and grabbing his bag he dashed into his sisters coffee shop. The bell above the door rang merrily and Lance cringed. “Can someone explain to me why my baby brother is two hours late to work?” Rachel’s voice carried from the back room.

“How’d you even know it was me?” Lance asked as he hung up his bag in the backroom.

Rachel rolled her eyes as she carried several bags of coffee beans up to the front. “Please, I could feel your nervous energy from a block away. Luckily only the regulars have come in.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Stay up on register for now. The truck is coming in soon and I’ll need to sort everything out.”

“Ok. And Rach, sorry for being late. I swore I set my alarm-“

Rachel cut him off. “Its alright baby bro. Just don’t fuck up any drinks and we’ll be solid.” She ruffled his hair and returned to the back room.

Lance took a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair and looked for something to do. He had stayed up way too late last night trying to get an article done. His publisher had been on his ass lately and he was starting to get worried. _Breath_ didn’t let just anyone write for them and if Lance kept turning in lackluster articles he knew his editor would can him. Luckily his sister took pity on him and let him pick up shifts a couple times a week so he could at least afford to keep his lights on.

There wasn’t a customer in the shop and the quiet was bugging him. Rachel had a great sound system in the shop but she hardly ever used it. She said it didn’t bother her to work in silence. Lance hated silence.

He connected his phone to the Bluetooth and scrolled through his Spotify for a few minutes before settling on a playlist. The first song by SONTALK soon filled the shop. “What song is this?” Rachel called from the backroom.

“I Am A War Machine. I’ve played SONTALK in here before sis.”

“You know I’m not good with the music and the names and remembering things.”

Lance chuckled and started a drink for himself. There was no way he was getting through this shift without some caffeine. As he watched the espresso drip from the machine he found his mind wandering back to the guy he almost ran over.

His hair was black, and long. He had it pulled into a low bun on the back of his head. The black of his air set off his pale skin so it almost glowed. And his eyes were such a deep blue they looked almost purple. Lance glanced up from the espresso machine to the storefront across the street. The building had sat empty for a couple of years. He wondered what was finally going to move in. “Hey Rach?”

“What?”

“Did you see the people moving into the building across the street?”

Rachel finally walked out of the back of the store and rubbed the back of her neck. “They’ve been moving in all morning. Not sure what’s opening up though. There were two huge trucks blocking the street earlier.”

“Hm.” Lance started to steam his milk and bobbed his head along to the music. Once his drink was done he leaned up against the counter and watched the windows for a glimpse of that beautiful man again. But the street stayed quiet- much to Lance’s disappointment.

_Keith_

“Thanks for the help.” Keith addressed the last of the moving crew as they made their way out to their truck. The men nodded in response and left the building. Keith groaned and rubbed the back of his neck. All the big pieces of furniture were in the space now, but he had hours of unpacking ahead of him.

At least he had taken the precaution of packing everything in alphabetical order so he wouldn’t have to suffer sorting through everything later. Checking his watch he saw that it was later than he thought. 10 a.m. and he hadn’t had any coffee yet. As if on cue the middle of his forehead throbbed, and indication on the lack of caffeine in his system. He walked to the front door of the building and sized up the little coffee shop across the street. It seemed pretty unassuming; a blue and white awning protected a small patio. The patio was layered with flowers of all sizes and colors. The name of the shop was etched into the glass windows but with the sun reflecting he couldn’t quite make it out.

Shrugging he dug around for his wallet and headed across the street, hands buried in his jeans pockets. He was getting a few strange looks, as he had all morning. Keith knew he was moving to a small town so he figured he would get this kind of treatment until he started to get to know the locals a bit better. Once he was across the street he was finally able to make out the name of the coffee shop.

_Lava Java._ Keith smirked and pulled open the front door, a bell jingling merrily. Glancing around he saw about 10 two-person tables, only two were occupied. A mother and daughter sat chatting over latte mugs. An older guy reading a newspaper raised his eyes over the paper enough to give Keith a classic once over. Keith attempted a polite smile and then moved over to the hanging menu by the counter.

The menu looked pretty typical, and the glass display case showed off and array of pastries and cookies. Keith could hear someone humming along to the song playing over the rather impressive speaker system. A person stood up from below the counter where they had been organizing something, and much to Keith’s surprise he made eye contact with the guy from earlier. The guy that had almost killed him with his bike.

It took the guy a second but recognition came into his eyes and then he blushed fiercely. “Ah. Hello again.” He rubbed the back of his neck.

Keith felt a smile cross his face. “Hey.” They stared at each other for a long moment, it wasn’t terribly awkward but Keith clenched his fists a bit and then shook them out. “How late were you?” Keith asked.

The guy stared at him blankly for a second. “Two hours.” Came the answer, but it was from a woman that emerged from a storeroom. She and the guy looked extremely similar. The guy blushed an even deeper shade of scarlet.

Keith acknowledged the woman with a smile. “Did he get a lecture?”

The woman smiled. “Oh you know it.” She smacked the back of the guys’ head and went to organize some shelves. “Now stop standing there like a fool and help the man.”

The guy rolled his eyes and met Keith’s. His eyes were a light blue, highlighting the dark skin and freckles. “Sorry for almost killing you this morning.” He said, his voice a lot deeper than earlier. “Not used to people being outside that building.”

Keith shrugged and found that he had to look away. “Its not a problem. I wasn’t paying attention either.”

The guy stared at him a bit longer, the blush faded. A small grin lit up his face. “Well, I’m Lance. That _awful_ woman over there is my sister, Rachel.”

“Yeah call me awful when you’re able to pay your electric bill this month.” She tossed over her shoulder. She flipped Lance off and he stuck his tongue out at her.

“I’m Keith.” Lance stuck out his hand and Keith shook it.

“Well Keith, what can I get you?”

Keith found that he forgot what he was going to order. “Oh… um, just a 16 ounce vanilla latte. To go please.”

Lance winked at him. “Coming up.” He drifted over to the espresso machine and Keith watched him carefully. He went back to humming to the music. A new song had started. The longer Keith listened the more he liked it. He tried to discreetly pull out his phone so Siri could listen to it and determine who the artist was. “It’s Colouring.” Came Lance’s voice.

Keith jumped a bit and looked up. “What?”

“The band.” Lance smiled and wiped a few things off and grabbed a to go cup. “They just dropped a new EP and I’ve been listening to it nonstop.” He poured the milk into the cup and finished the latte art off with a flourish. He handed the cup over the counter. “Here you go.”

Keith reached for his wallet but Lance waved him off. “Its on the house. Ya know, compensation for almost killing you earlier.”

“Oh.” It was Keith’s turn to blush. “Thanks.” He started to turn away but instead asked, “How’d you know I was trying to figure out the song?”

Lance shrugged. “You look like a music guy.” He wiped his hands on a towel. “Also, can I ask, what’s opening up next door?”

“Oh. Um, just mostly vinyl. Some second hand books and movies… I sell record players too.”

Lance’s eyes widened. “Dude seriously?”

“Yeah… I know a lot of that stuff isn’t really…” Keith shrugged and looked down into his latte.

Lance laughed lightly and shook his head. “Well I think its sick dude. And… coffee is on the house whenever, ok?”

“Oh no, I can’t…”

“Its no problem. I know how hard it can be to be new in this town.” He paused for a second, “And if you need any help unpacking or whatever,” He grabbed a pen and paper, “I’m always available.” Lance handed Keith a slip of paper with his number on it.

Keith took it and stared at the digits for a second. He met Lance’s eyes and smiled. “Thanks.” He tipped two fingers against his forehead in a mock salute and left the shop, nodding at Rachel as he left.

He tried not to hurry back across the street but as soon as he was back in the privacy of his own store he set his coffee down and rubbed his hand across his face. He’s too fucking awkward for this shit.

_Lance_

At three Lance sighed and finally turned the lights of the shop off. He had forced Rachel to go home early since he had been late. It had been a slow day anyway. He stretched his arms above his head and felt his neck and elbows crack. Side effects of working full time hunched over a laptop.

The coffee shop was a wonderful reprieve from writing. Not that he didn’t like his job- it just drained him mentally and emotionally. It hard having editor after editor tell him he didn’t have what it took to stay in the business.

Glancing across the street Lance saw Keith moving around inside his store. Would it be over stepping to bring him some water, or more coffee? Maybe a snack? Lance wasn’t sure why he was so desperate to make a connect with this guy; maybe it was because he was new. And in this small, gossipy town it sucked to be new. But if Keith had a connection with the McClain’s, one of the oldest and most respected families in town, maybe it would be easier for him.

Lance weighed his options for a bit longer and then grabbed a to go cup and filled it up with Rachel’s famous iced toddy mix. He poured in a bit of vanilla and caramel syrup in it and mixed it up. Before he lost his nerve he grabbed some of the leftover croissants and threw them in a bag and headed next door. The door was open and Lance heard music faintly playing. Holding the goodies in one hand he knocked on the doorframe.

He heard a shuffling sound from behind a bookcase and Keith appeared, wiping his hands on his black jeans. His hair was in another bun, this one higher on his head. He cocked his head curiously. “Lance, right? What’s up?”

Now that Keith had acknowledged his presence Lance felt incredibly stupid. He’d almost hit this guy with his bike; made him coffee and now he thought he was buddy-buddy with him? Shaking his head at himself Lance said, “Sorry, I’m probably overstepping my bounds here but,” He shrugged and gestured to the coffee and snacks with his free hand, “Figured maybe you could use a break?”

Keith watched him for a moment and then smiled. Lance felt his face heat up. “You didn’t have to do that.”

Lance shrugged and averted his gaze. “You’ve been going nonstop all day dude. And its no problem.”

Keith gestured for Lance to come into the building. “Well come in then.” He glanced back at Lance and smiled, “Sorry its such a mess in here.”

Lance followed Keith to the small counter set up on the right side of the store. “I haven’t been in this building in years. Probably before I went to college.”

Keith pulled up two stools and sat down heavily on one. “What was the business back then?”

“Some woman sold prom dresses for years. She retired back when I was still in high school.” Lance sat next to Keith and pushed the coffee in his direction.

While Keith had looked hesitant about taking more free coffee a bit ago he took it gratefully now. He took a long sip and closed his eyes. “Thanks for this. I’ve been running on empty for the past couple of hours.” His eyes moved around the space again, “So you grew up here?”

“Yep I did. Born and raised. Take that as you will.” Lance absentmindedly picked at his thumbnail. “Didn’t expect to come back honestly.”

Keith nodded and brushed some hair out of his eyes. “It seems nice enough. But then again I’ve only been here for half a day.”

They sat in silence for a bit and Lance tried to catch the lyrics of the song that was playing. He already felt like he had overstayed his welcome so he stood up and rubbed his hand over the back of his neck. “Well… don’t work too hard.” He cringed at how awkward he was.

Keith smiled up at him, and Lance noticed that one side of Keith’s mouth perked up higher than the other when he smiled. “Thank you Lance. I really appreciate it.”

“And um, my offer still stands. If you need help just hit me up.”

“I will.” Keith stood, “Lemme walk you out.” The two men walked to the door and Lance grinned awkwardly again and headed across the street to unhook his bike. When he finally got everything ready and swung his leg over his bike he noticed Keith leaning against the doorway of his shop, a light grin on his face. He waved as Lance rode away.

***

Lance groaned and slammed his laptop closed. He had been sending his stuff out to other publications lately since he thought his time at _Breath_ could be over any minute. But every other blog and magazine had rejected him, politely at least.

The sting of bitter tears pricked at Lance’s eyes. He rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes and pulled air through his teeth and hissed. He was 25 for fucks sake. He was used to rejection letters. Hell, before he got hired to write for _Breath_ he received more rejection letters than he could even remember. But it was frustrating. _Breath_ was his dream. Still is if he was going to be honest. But his writing didn’t fit the “vision” of the magazine anymore. And there was only so far Lance could bend his own style before it was destroyed completely.

Lance sat back in his chair and rocked back and forth a few times. Honestly he couldn’t even remember what his voice sounded like. It had been so long since he’d written an article or review that he was proud of. He was in a rut, and had been for a long time. Maybe leaving _Breath_ would be good for him. It would force him to write in a style to fit other publications.

He spun his chair around fully to take in his studio apartment. To his left was the tiny kitchen. He grew up in the States, his family moved from Cuba right after he was born. But of course he grew up with Cuban cooking, and he still liked to cook when he the time to get all the ingredients.

His desk was shoved up on the other side of the front door. He had two small wing chairs and a coffee table in front of his T.V. Gaming was a hobby of his, but he didn’t even have the patience for that anymore. The bathroom was just beyond that, and his “bedroom” was lofted above the bathroom. He had a simple floating mattress and a bookcase shoved in the little available space in the loft.

The apartment might be small but it suited his life style. Maybe he should get a dog. His family always had a dog when he was growing up. Then again he could hardly afford to feed himself. Standing up he groaned and stretched his neck. He moved into the kitchen and opened his fridge and glanced around. Leftover Chinese. Sounds like a plan. Throwing it in the microwave he cracked open a beer and chugged half of it in one gulp.

His life was such a shit show. His parents still wouldn’t talk to him; the rest of his siblings hardly tolerated him. He might be out of a job soon. Not that he didn’t love Rachel, but he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life working in her coffee shop. His love, his joy was writing. Music. Everything involved in it. In the distance the microwave beeped and beeped.

Lance pulled his phone out of his pocket. No messages. He hissed again and slid down to his kitchen floor.

_Keith_

Keith glanced at the watch on his wrist. 11 p.m. already huh? Rubbing his eyes he stood up, knees cracking as he stood. He’d been sitting in one spot for far too long. He walked to the front of the store to make sure the front door was locked. Then he went to the back of the store and opened the door the lead to the staircase that would bring him to his apartment.

When he’d been looking for buildings to rent in the city he was surprised to find this building. The apartment was in good standing; it could use some paint and new appliances in the kitchen. But it would do. He had lived simply since he could remember, probably even before touring with the guys.

Flicking on lights he made his way into the kitchen. The rubbed his hand along the old wooden island. It was his favorite part about this kitchen. He wasn’t great at cooking, but he was excited to try. Throwing open the fridge he knew what he’d find, half a box of pizza from lunch today and some coffee creamer.

He fished out a slice of cold pizza and opened the balcony doors. The balcony was above the front entrance to the building so he had a nice view of the street below him. He seemed to have found himself on the mainstream of town; there weren’t any other homes here, just businesses.

There was an insurance place just down the street. A flower shop, and right across the street Lava Java. He rested his hand in his chin and stared at the coffee shop. So far the only people that had spoken to him were Rachel and Lance.

Lance.

Charming, good looking. Full of himself probably. Keith rolled his eyes and finished off the slice of pizza. He rested both elbows on the railing of the balcony now, watching passing cars on the interstate further back. He knew he needed this, a small town. Where no one knew who he was, or what he had done. Leaving that life behind, it was hard, but not as hard as Keith thought it would be. It had been his entire life… but until it had fucked his entire life.

But now he felt listless. What in the hell was he supposed to do? 27 and living a life without prospects. He groaned and slammed back through the balcony doors. “Where the hell did I…” He muttered. Ah, there, on his bed. He shoved his bedding aside and grabbed his guitar case. The once clean black surface was now covered in stickers; evidence of how much Keith had traveled in the past years. Popping open the case his eyes landed on his bright purple guitar.

Sighing Keith let the now familiar emotions run over him like a wave. Anger, betrayal, but most of all, heartbreak. Eventually he would have to paint over or cover the bands symbol… but it had only been a few months since the breakup, so he decided to leave it for now.

He also had the symbol tattooed on his right forearm; he would defiantly have to get that covered soon. He had been wanting to black out most of his right arm anyways, might as well start that process now. Picking up the guitar he slowly stroked out a few chords, tuning it when he heard the slightest hint of something being out of tune.

Shiro had always said he thought Keith was one of the most talented musicians he had ever seen, and that’s probably why Keith was so mad now. It wasn’t Shiro’s fault that the band had broken up, but he hadn’t done shit to help stop it either. He and Shiro had talked in months, and Keith didn’t know where to start to pick up the pieces with his brother.

So he was all alone in the world now. “Big fucking deal Kogane. Throw the worlds biggest pity party and maybe you’ll feel better.” He muttered. Absentmindedly he started to play some chords and before he realized it he was playing the song he had heard earlier that morning in the coffee shop. When he had gotten back to his own place after getting coffee he had listened to Colouring’s entire discography. Keith liked their stuff for the most part, though he usually listened to a lot heavier shit. Curious he had looked up the band on Instagram only to discover that he knew the lead singer, some guy named Jack. They’d briefly met at some award show that was difficult for Keith to fully remember because he’d been drunk out of his mind. Wasn’t long after that that the rest of the band had checked him into rehab. He’d been pissed at the time but he wrote the bands best album while there so, weigh your options really.

Out of habit his fingers tripped over some of the trickier chords he’d written for the last album. God, playing that shit live had been a blast. They’d sold out arenas all over the world. _Edge of Nowhere_ suddenly became a household name. Keith should’ve known they would crash and burn shortly after.

Sighing he put his guitar away carefully and laid the case out next to his bed. It was almost midnight now so he actually made his bed, stripped out his jeans and long sleeve black t-shirt and slid beneath the cool sheets. He had left the windows of the apartment open during the day to help get rid of the musty smell, and now a cool night breeze drifted in. Keith desperately wanted a cigarette, but he ran out days ago. Probably for the best, he didn’t want to add lung cancer to ever growing list of problems.

He groped around his phone and rolled onto his side, checking his notifications. Thousands of emails from the label, the Edge’s manager has been on Keith and the rest of the guys, desperate to get his golden boys back together. Like that would ever happen. A couple texts from Acxa, wondering how he was. He ignored those. There was a missed call from Shiro. Keith felt a tug in his gut. He should call Shiro back, he really should. But right now… he wasn’t in the right headspace for it.

Irritated Keith set an alarm for the next morning and rolled over willing the sting of tears to go away.

***

“Fucking, _Christ…”_ Keith fumbled for his phone and shut his alarm off, rubbing at his eyes. He lay there on his bed for a long moment before sitting up and scrubbing his hands through his hair. His hair already felt like a rats nest, he should probably shower before he went down to the store to keep organizing.

It was already hot in the apartment, checking the weather on his phone Keith saw that it could get into the 90’s. Groaning he got out of bed and shut the windows. It took him a bit to remember where the thermostat was, and when he turned the AC on the whole apartment seemed to groan. It had been a while since anyone had lived here after all.

Showering took all of but 5 minutes, but it still wasn’t enough to wake him up. Shuffling out to the kitchen he opened cabinet after cabinet and cursed. Of course he hadn’t remembered to buy coffee. His eyes drifted to a window and he briefly watched several people walk in and out of Lava Java. They did sell beans… maybe he should go pay the shop a visit. That and he was a fucking prat if he didn’t have his morning coffee. A caffeine addiction wasn’t as bad as some of the other shit was into.

Throwing on some clothes and digging around for his wallet Keith made his way downstairs, flicking on lights as he went. His hair was still wet and for a brief moment he wondered if the townspeople would care. For the past couple of years other people had always worried about what Keith had looked like. He’d never been good at that type of shit. He was used to black jeans and cut off t-shirts, which was exactly what he was wearing now.

The heat of the day hit Keith in the face as soon as he stepped outside. He added the heat to his mental list of things he’d have to get used to. Other than a couple cyclists the street was quiet, it was still decently early. The bell above Lava Java’s door jingled merrily, jarring on Keith’s nerves.

There were only older people in the shop this early in the morning and they all looked at Keith with distaste. He supposed the cut off t-shirt, wet hair and two arms covered in tattoos didn’t make the best impression on the baby boomers in this town. Rolling his eyes and sighing Keith made his way over to the wall full of shelving to check out the bean selection. He felt a tap on his shoulder and jumped a bit. Looking over his shoulder he met eyes with, god what was her name? Rachel, right. “Hey.” His voice was still scratchy with sleep.

Rachel grinned, “You look just lovely this morning.”

Keith felt his eyebrows draw together as he took Rachel in. She was desperately fighting off a smirk and it made Keith snort. “Thanks for the compliment.”

“You just moved right? My guess is you forgot to buy coffee.”

“Precisely.” Keith turned his eyes to the many bags of beans, “Which one of these has the most caffeine?”

“Enough to keep you awake or get you wired?”

“Wired.” He answered instantly, making Rachel laugh. She reached around him and grabbed a couple of bags.

“We use these to make our espresso, and this is our black label. Either one will triple your heart rate and help send you to an early grave.”

“Perfect.”

“Rach, why are you bothering the customers so early in the morning?” Came a familiar voice. Keith turned to see Lance emerge from the back room, bags of coffee beans in his hands. “Oh, hey Keith. Didn’t recognize ya without that man bun action.”

Rachel rolled her eyes, “Ignore my brother. Want me to grind those for you?” She gestured to the bags of beans.

“You’re a saint.” Keith said, earning another laugh from the woman. He wandered up the counter and watched as Rachel opened the first bag of beans and poured them into a grinder. Lance had set down what he was carrying and smiled and Keith. “Morning.” Keith mumbled, feeling nervous for some reason.

“You had a long sleeve on yesterday, so I didn’t see any of the tats. That’s why I didn’t recognize you.” Lance explained, stacking the beans in neat rows in a plastic tub. He met eyes with Keith and quirked a brow, “That’s some pretty intense ink.”

Keith looked down at his arms and shrugged. “Honestly I forget that they’re even there.”

“How do you forget about being covered in tattoos?”

Keith shrugged again. “I’ve had so many of them for so long… its just a part of me I guess. No big deal.”

“Cool,” Lance glanced back at Rachel. She was now grinding the second bag of beans. “Can I whip you up something quick?”

“I mean I could just brew up something at home…” Keith’s voice drifted off when he detected the slightest hint of disappointment flash through Lance’s eyes. “Yeah… ok. Sure. Make whatever you want.”

Lance grinned and Keith felt it in his gut. “By the way,” Lance started, “Sick t-shirt. I saw them at Madison Square Garden.”

Keith plucked at his cut off and nodded. “Yeah I-“ He stopped short. He had almost said he and Matty had written part of Edge’s last album together, but he couldn’t say he and the lead singer of The 1975 were friends. For one it would easily expose who Keith was, and second, Lance might not even believe him. He glanced quickly up at Lance. The other man had a brow quirked, waiting for Keith to finish his sentence. “I saw them at the O2. Fucking wicked show.”

Lance whined as he steamed the milk for Keith’s drink. “God I wanna go to a U.K show so bad. The company only ever sends me to U.S shows.”

“The company?”

“Ah.” Lance began to pour the milk for the drink, “Yeah… I write for _Breath._ I’ve seen a lot of cool shit.”

Keith blinked. Lance, wrote for _Breath?_ It was one of the biggest fucking music publications on the planet. Hell, his own band had been featured more times than he could count. Did that mean Lance knew who Keith was? He felt a pit start to grow in his stomach. Luckily Rachel swooped in, saving Keith from having to come up with a reply. “Bragging to the new guy already baby bro?”

Lance rolled his eyes at his sister and handed Keith his drink. Rachel bagged up Keith’s coffee beans and walked over to a table and started chatting up the older couple sitting there. It was then that Lance’s eyes grew incredibly sad. “Well, I should say I _wrote_ for _Breath._ Probably gunna be out of a job soon.” Taking a deep breath the sadness in his eyes vanished. “Anyways, enjoy the coffee.” He winked, “And its on me. See ya again soon dude.”

“Yeah, see ya soon.” Keith walked out the shop and across the street, the look on Lance’s face fresh in his mind.

_Lance_

“Keith looks familiar.” Rachel said. The two McClain siblings watched Keith disappear through the door, a gust of wind tousling his still wet hair.

“Probably because he came into the shop yesterday.” Lance answered sarcastically.

“No,” Rachel started a drink for a customer, “Like, he looked completely different yesterday. Its something about those tattoos.”

Lance stayed quiet. He didn’t want to say it, but he agreed with his sister. The tattoos, the shoulder length hair just starting to wave as it dried… There was something about Keith that triggered something in Lance’s brain. But hey, Keith was Lance’s type… that’s probably why.

Rachel noticed her brother brooding and nudged his shoulder. “What’s on your mind baby brother?”

“Hmm, nothing really. Just a lot going on lately.” Lance didn’t want to tell Rachel that he was struggling with his writing. He didn’t want to worry her, or make her mad. She was one of the only family members that still talked to Lance; he didn’t want to ruin this relationship. If he lost Rachel he lost the rest of the family as well.

“A lot going on in the Keith department?” She teased.

Lance glared at his sister. “Oh come on, I just met the guy yesterday.”

“I’ve heard worse about your shenanigans.” She quirked a brow, and Lance saw his own face mirrored in hers. Their mother always did say they looked like twins, even if Rachel was four years older than him.

“You don’t know anything about my ‘shenanigans;” Lance drawled, putting air quotes around shenanigans. He tried to tease Rachel back, but his heart wasn’t in it. Part of the reason his family didn’t talk to him anymore was because of his past “shenanigans”.

Rachel noticed Lance’s mood dip. She handed the customer their drink and turned to Lance. “Sibling meeting. Back room.” She waited until Lance stood in the back room, arms crossed awkwardly over his chest. “Ok, I said something wrong. Tell me what it was.”

Lance’s brow furrowed. “Rachel. You know its nothing.”

“Lance.”

He met his sister’s eyes. “You know mom and dad they… don’t. Approve.”

“Have you talked to them, since, well since you told them?”

“I’ve tried. But you know how they can be.” Lance frowned and rubbed his arm. “Mom answered the phone and she seemed like she wanted to talk but dad took the phone away and he…” His eyes misted over.

Rachel went and hugged Lance tightly. “Ok, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring it up. I just want you to tell me when my teasing gets to be a bit too much. All right? You know I love you no matter what.” She ruffled his hair, “No matter who you fuck.”

Lance felt a surprised laugh trip out of his mouth. “Wow, thanks Rach. I’ll make a mental note.” Rachel grinned and went to help the person behind the counter. He took a deep breath and pushed the back door open and stood in the alley behind the shop. He let a quick rush of tears spill out of his eyes.

Dad had never really approved of Lance’s way of life, or his career. But when he had tried to come out as bi to his family his dad lost it.

_“You are already wasting your time writing all day, prancing around to those concerts and calling it a career! Now you’re trying to tell me that you sleep with men? Make up your mind!”_

Lance rubbed his fists into his eyes and hissed. It had been around five years since that confrontation and Lance hadn’t been home for a family holiday since. It even took Rachel around a year to come around and talk to Lance to let him know not everyone agreed with mom and dad.

He leaned his head against the brick all and inhaled deeply. He hadn’t been in a relationship since before he tried to come out to his parents. There had been a couple of passing flings, but none of them had made an impression. He met a lot of band members and did his fair share, just like his dad had accused him of. But it was all just an attempt to fill that lonely pit in his stomach.

Taking one last deep breath he pushed off the wall and headed back inside, all smiles and false cheer.

***

Lance chugged the cheap beer Hunk had just bought him. Work had sucked, both the coffee shop and trying to write. He sent some of his pieces out to a couple more publications and had to wait to see if they would publish anything.

“Slow down buddy, I know for a fact you haven’t eaten all day.” Hunk grinned sympathetically at his friend. They were out for a drink at their favorite bar in town. It was a little seedy but the owner was a chill dude, unlike a lot of the other bar owners in town.

Lance set the bottle down and groaned. “Sorry. Sorry. It’s been a hell of a week.”

“Yeah, apparently.” Hunk took a swig of his own drink, “Wanna talk about it? I assumed that’s why you called.”

“I just… life sucks. It fucking sucks.”

Hunk laughed, the skin around his eyes crinkling. “You got that right buddy.”

Lance decided it wasn’t going to lay all his troubles on Hunk. His pal had enough to worry about, what with his up and coming restaurant and fairly recent marriage. “How’s the restaurant?”

“Good, good. Shay and I have been playing around with some new drink and meal ideas. Summer is upon us and all that bullshit.” When Lance had called Hunk earlier that day Hunk had figured his friend needed to vent. They had met several years back, during Lance’s senior year of college and Hunk’s final year in culinary school. They spent a lot of late night’s together, getting drunk and complaining about how hard life was. But while it seemed Hunk was up on his luck, the world kept kicking Lance down. “Shay says she wants you to come over. You haven’t been to the restaurant in forever.”

Lance rubbed his face and took another long swig of beer, “Yeah I know. I should come over after the weekend.” He watched Hunk for a bit longer and was able to read his friend like an open book “Was there anything else you wanted to tell me buddy?”

Hunk blushed deeply and rubbed the back of his neck, “Shay and I… uh were expecting.”

Lance felt a smile break open his face. “Holy shit.” Hunk smiled back just as wide. “You’re going to be a dad?”

“I’m… I’m going to be a dad.” Hunk stared off into the distance, a dreamy look on his face. “Shay just told me the other day. She’s about two months along.”

Lance stood and slapped his friend on the back, “Next round is on me. My best friend, a dad. You’ve unlocked the final leveling of adulting my friend.” He made his way to the bar to buy a couple more beers. And while he was completely overjoyed for his friend, that goddamn pit opened up in his stomach, sucking all the joy away. “Two more beers please.” He mumbled when the bartender acknowledged him. The beers were pushed into his waiting arms and he made his way back to the table, hoping his mood wasn’t readable on his face.

“So,” He started when he got back to the table, “Are you guys going to find out the gender?”

Hunk took the beer and grinned, “Na. We want to do things the old fashioned way. Plus… its weird to gender a fetus, right?”

“Yeah. Right. Gender is a construct. Down with the binary.” Lance attempted to keep his voice light but Hunk saw right through him.

“Now, I’ve told you my news. Now talk to me buddy. I know something is bothering you.”

Lance face fell and he twirled his beer bottle around on the table. “I don’t wanna bring down the mood.” Hunk raised a brow and waited for his friend to go on. Lance sighed heavily, “I think _Breath_ is gunna let me go.”

“Why would they?”

Lance scoffed. “I haven’t published a decent piece in months. They stopped sending me out to gigs and concerts. I lost my touch.”

Hunk put a comforting hand on Lance’s arm. “Maybe you just need a break.”

“A break?”

“Yeah. A break. Maybe you’re burned out because you wrote too much. You haven’t lost your touch, you just don’t have anymore words left.” Hunk smiled reassuringly. “I’ve read your writing before, and it’s incredible.”

“Yeah, maybe five years ago. But I lost my passion for it a long time ago. _Breath_ was my dream, but it drained me. I should just move onto something else.”

Hunk glared for a moment. “Writing is your whole word dude. You can’t give up something that is a part of you.”

Lance sighed and took another swig of a beer. Hunk was right; he should’ve eaten before he came. The beer was rushing straight to his head. “I just, what do I even have to show for it? A couple of articles? Some words about albums and bands people won’t remember in a couple years?” He realized he was babbling but all the pent up frustration and pain was rushing out of him.

He was going to keep going when his eyes fell on the person that had just pushed open the door to the bar. His mouth hung open for a second before he snapped it closed as Keith looked his direction. Keith noticed Lance and waved a bit. Hunk turned to see what Lance was gawking at and noticed Keith in the doorway. He glanced back at Lance, “Friend of yours?”

“Oh.” Lance’s eyes darted back to Hunk, “Um. Not really? He just moved here, he’s opening up a business across the street from Rach’s place.”

Hunk nodded. “Well, introduce me. I haven’t seen you look at someone like that in a while dude.”

“ I wasn’t… I don’t.” Lance stuttered, then he noticed the look on Hunk’s face. He smirked in spite of himself, “Fuck you man.” He pushed off the chair he was sitting in and made his way across the bar to Keith. Keith nodded as Lance approached.

“Hey.” Keith smiled. He was in the same black jeans and cut off t-shirt from earlier, but his hair was dry now. It waved around his face in gentle curls. His tattoos seemed to leap out from his pale skin, the dim lighting in the bar making him seem almost 3D.

“Checking out the town?” Lance asked, trying not to let his eyes linger on Keith’s body too long.

“I guess. I just needed some alcohol. Some older woman came by and saw that I had moved in and talked my ear off.”

“Was she a little shorter, huge blue glasses?”

“Precisely.”

Lance laughed, “That would be Mrs. Long. She owns the flower shop on Main Street. She loves talking.”

Keith laughed. It died off and Keith continued to look at Lance, a small smile on his face. Lance stared back, feeling the alcohol tripping through his brain. And it was helping him notice things about Keith, like the dimple in his right cheek, the scar through his left eyebrow. Just how slender his arms were beneath all that ink. Lance realized he had been staring for too long when Keith smirked. “Oh uh…” Lance gestured behind him, “I’m here with my friend Hunk. Can I introduce you?”

“I don’t see why not.”

Lance weaved back through the tables with Keith just behind him. Hunk was grinning at him and had a sly look in his eyes. Lance glared at him and mouthed, _“Don’t you fucking dare.”_ Hunk laughed and lightly punched Lance’s shoulder. Lance turned back to Keith and grinned, “This is my best friend Hunk. Hunk, this is Keith.”

Keith took Hunks hand and shook it. “Nice to meet ya man.”

“Likewise.” Hunk looked back and forth between Keith and Lance and then said, “Why don’t you join us man?”

“I don’t wanna impose…” Keith’s voice drifted off.

Hunk cuffed his shoulder, “You wouldn’t be! And you’re new in town, we can give you all the inside details on all the pricks that live here.”

Keith glanced at Lance, who shrugged. “Hunk’s right ya know.”

“Ok then. I’m gunna go get something to drink.” Keith smiled politely at Hunk and moved to the bar.

Hunk slapped Lance’s shoulder. “Hunk, _Jesus.”_

“He’s _hot.”_ Hunk grinned slyly and wiggled his eyebrows, “And it looks like he has a tortured soul. Brooding and all that shit. He’s _perfect_ for you.” He laughed louder when Lance punched his arm.

“Hunk I swear to god. I just met the guy.” He glanced quickly toward the bar, “And I know he’s my type. God. The tattoos. The hair.” Lance slumped back down in his chair, “But a tortured soul is the last thing I need right now. My soul is tortured enough.”

“You’re so dramatic.”

Keith joined them again, a small glass with ice in his hand. “So,” He said as he pulled up a chair, “You said you’d spill the dirty secrets of the town?”

Hunk nodded enthusiastically. “The white people man. They’re crazy.”

Keith laughed, his dimple popping. Lance pushed his beer away before he drank anymore and did something stupid. “Hunk shook up the whole town when he opened up his restaurant.”

“A restaurant?” Keith asked, swigging his drink.

Hunk grinned modestly, “Yeah. Bought the old ass, gross ass Italian place a few years back and redid the entire thing. Opened up my own place. The baby boomers in town were pissed that I took the business away from the old guy that owned it, but now they are the ones that in there 24/7.”

“Well congrats man.” Keith lifted his drink toward Hunk and Hunk clinked his beer bottle to Keith’s.

“Thanks. It was all a labor of love.”

A comfortable silence fell over the table. Hunk pulled out his phone and grinned when he saw some texts from his wife. Then Keith turned to Lance and asked, “Earlier today you told me you write for _Breath?”_

Lance tensed for a second and said, “Um, yeah. For a couple years now.”

A smile lit up Keith’s face. “That’s like, insane. _Breath_ is huge.”

Hunk jumped at the opportunity to brag about his friend, “He got the gig right out of college. Before that he was writing for some shitty online blog. The editor at _Breath_ read one of Lance’s pieces and offered him the job then and there.”

“Its nothing really…” Lance’s voice drifted off and he blushed.

Keith scoffed, “I’ve been-“ he paused, he almost said interviewed but stopped, “I’ve been reading _Breath_ for years. I’ve probably even read a bunch of your stuff. And I’ve heard the editor is a hard ass.” Keith knew Gary of course, and Gary was more than a hard ass. He was a dick. A schemey dick. _Breath_ was incredible, but Keith knew it was flourish under better management.

Lance looked at Keith for a bit, observing this stranger. It seemed like he was holding back on something. And Lance figured Rachel was right, Keith _did_ look familiar.

_Keith_

Keith hadn’t expected to run into Lance when he went out, but he found that he was glad that he did. He didn’t know anybody else in town and it calmed him down to see a familiar face.

He spent about an hour with Lance and his friend Hunk at the bar and then politely said goodbye. He headed back out into the night air and inhaled deeply. It was weird to talk to people. Well, talk to people that weren’t trying to take advantage of him or get in his pants.

It had been so long since Keith had just had a normal conversation with people. For years his entire life had revolved around the band. Writing music for the band, recording for the band, touring with the band. It wasn’t a bad life, not at all. Once he’d gotten sober he had lived off the high of performing. Having thousands of people screaming for the band… for _him_ was ridiculous.

But the label and the other guys in the band ruined it all before Keith even really had the chance to truly enjoy it.

But Lance and Hunk… they had no idea who he was. He couldn’t believe how refreshing that was. He was still outside the bar smoking when Lance and Hunk left. Hunk waved and got into a car and backed out the parking lot. Keith met eyes with Lance and he watched as Lance gauged the situation. He eventually made his way over to Keith, a shy smile on his face.

“Thought you left a while ago.” Lance said as he approached.

Keith shrugged, “It’s a nice night.”

Lance leaned against the wall beside Keith and exhaled slowly. “How are you liking town so far?”

“Its nice. Quiet. Which is exactly what I was looking for.” He took a long drag of his cigarette.

“Lived somewhere wild before this?”

Keith nodded. He noticed Lance eyeing the cigarette and dug around in his pocket and offered Lance the pack. After a moment of hesitation Lance took one and Keith lit it for him. “How do you like it?”

“Like what?” Lance asked, smoke drifting from his nostrils.

“Town.”

Lance shrugged, staring down the street, “I grew up here. Its nice enough.” His eyes grew dark, “But ya know, through _Breath_ I’ve been able to travel the world.” He paused, “I don’t want to spend the rest of my life here.”

Keith nodded. He knew there was a lot more Lance wasn’t telling him, but they hardly knew each other. And Keith knew how risky it was it get to know Lance, especially now that Keith knew Lance wrote for the magazine that covered his band. Not _his_ band anymore though. “Then why don’t you leave? Start over somewhere.”

“Like you are?” Lance chuckled.

Again Keith shrugged. “It can do wonders.” He drawled dramatically, taking the last drag from his cigarette. He stamped the rest out with his black boot and turned to Lance. “Well, I walked here… so I’ll probably get going.”

“Oh…” Lance stubbed out his cigarette as well, “I biked here, mind if I join you?”

Keith hesitated, weighing his options. Then he smiled, “Be my guest.”

Lance rushed to go unhook his bike and then joined Keith again, keeping his bike on his right side so it wasn’t between them. They walked in silence for a bit, the only sounds were the occasional car passing and bugs in the trees. “So, are you living up in the old apartment above your shop?”

“Yep. I couldn’t believe I got the whole building for that price. Its probably haunted or falling apart.” He grinned at Lance, “But I don’t need a whole lot.”

Lance smiled back. “Na. That building is in good standing. My brother…” He swallowed thickly, “Um. He uh, runs the construction business in town. He told Rachel that nothing could tear that building down unless it wanted to come down.”

“Thanks for the reassurance.” Keith answered gamely. He noticed how Lance had tensed up when he mentioned his brother, but again, Lance’s family drama wasn’t any of his business. Even though Keith felt like he wanted it to be.

They stayed quiet for a bit longer. Then Lance broke the silence. “So. Keith. If its not too much to ask, what made someone like you seek out a place like…” He gestured around them, “This?”

He thought for a long time before he answered. He couldn’t really tell a guy he had just meant that he left a band, no, his _life_ behind. And all for… he shook his head. Remembering what they all did to him, it put him in a bad place. “What I was doing before, I loved it. It was my entire life but I guess I realized that I needed to leave it behind.”

“Even if it meant everything to you?”

Keith glanced up sharply, hair falling into his face. His view of Lance was obscured, but he saw that Lance didn’t mean any ill will. “Yeah. Even if it meant everything to me.”

Lance nodded. “Makes sense to me. I grew up reading _Breath._ Reading about all those bands and concerts that changed how the business worked, I realized pretty quickly that I wanted to be a music journalist.”

“And you got what you wanted.”

“And I got exactly what I wanted.” Lance’s voice was darker than Keith had expected. Then Lance laughed darkly, “Turns out dreams can really kick you in the ass.”

They kept walking; Keith blinked a few times and didn’t respond. Of course Lance couldn’t know that he hit the nail on the head. Keith had poured everything he had into Edge. It rejuvenated his depression, sent him to rehab, and gave him the best and worst moments of his life. Edge was all Keith ever wanted. And he thought the rest of the guys had wanted it too. And they had wanted it, just without Keith in the picture.

He felt his mood cloud over as they kept walking. But Lance’s mood had turned sour as well. Lance laughed bitterly again, “Sorry. I really fucked the vibe didn’t I?”

Keith snorted. “Living the dream, huh?”

“Living the dream.” Lance paused. They were already back to Keith’s place. “Well, I, sorry for brooding all over you.”

“Well maybe you needed to brood.” Keith smiled. “Thanks for walking with me.” He unlocked the front door of his store. He turned back to Lance and grimaced, “Oh and uh, I open the store tomorrow so maybe if you, wanna stop by?” He shrugged awkwardly.

Lance smiled. “I’d love to.” He held out his fist, which Keith bumped back, “See you tomorrow.” He threw his leg over his bike and pedaled off into the night. Keith leaned back against the doorway and watched until he felt his phone vibrate. He pulled it out of his pocket and frowned.

_Shiro._

He pushed decline and slammed through the door and up to his apartment. His phone vibrated again. A text this time.

_Keith please, we need to talk. I’m your brother, you can’t ignore me forever._

“Fuck. OFF.” Keith yelled as he threw his phone on the couch. But the fucking thing just kept vibrating. He stalked over to the couch and saw that Shiro just kept calling him. His eyes stung a bit and he couldn’t tell if it was from anger or if it was tears. The call ended but Shiro just called again. Hands shaking Keith picked up the phone and pushed answer and growled, “What?”

It was silent on the other end. Keith pulled the phone away from his ear and was about to end the call when he heard Shiro’s voice faintly on the other line. “What did you say?”

“Keith?”

“Who else would it be?”

Shiro took a shuddering breath. “I haven’t heard your voice in four months Keith.”

Keith closed his eyes tightly. “And whose fault is that, big brother?”

“Don’t do this Keith. At least you finally picked up the phone.” Keith heard Shiro curse under his breath, “Where are you? Are you safe?”

“Why is that any of your business anymore?” Keith pulled at his hair. “You didn’t care when the guys all forced me out of the band. You weren’t there when the label took all my money, all the rights to _everything.”_

“You know my hands were tied…” Shiro tried but Keith interrupted.

“Shiro! No.” Keith’s voice broke and he hated it. He stood up and started pacing and tears rolled down his cheeks. “You’re my _brother!_ You were supposed to be there for me! But you weren’t. You haven’t been. What was I supposed to do? After dad died? Huh? And all the shit with the guys…” He sucked in a breath and stopped. “You’re my brother, and you didn’t help me.”

“Keith…” Shiro was crying too, but it just hurt. It all hurt. It was all so fucking _stupid._

“I’m safe. But I’m not telling you were I’m at. You don’t have the right to know anymore.” Keith hung up the phone and threw it at the wall. He backed up and hit the wall and slid down. He buried his face in his hands and just cried. Nothing made any sense anymore. It had all fallen apart so quickly and he was still trying to pick up all the pieces.

Somewhere in the distance he heard his phone vibrating.

***

Keith woke the next morning to his alarm in the distance. Groaning he sat up and fumbled around on his nightstand for his phone. Then he remembered he left it out on the floor last night. Shiro kept calling him and Keith stayed awake until exhaustion pulled him into an uneasy sleep.

He shuffled to his living room and shut the alarm off and rubbed at his chin. He was opening his store today. That is what he needed to focus on. Not his lying big brother trying to get back into his life.

Their dad had had a record store back in Philly were Keith and Shiro grew up. It was his pride and joy. He taught Shiro and Keith everything they knew about music. But when he died he left it all behind. Keith hadn’t been the biggest presence in his dad’s life after Edge took off, but he always sent him money, clothes, made sure he was eating. Shit like that. His dad sent him a letter every single day Keith had been in rehab. Every. Single. Day. Not even Shiro had done that. Shiro had dropped Keith off and then came to get him once his treatment was done.

Keith wanted to break something. Instead he picked up a pillow off the couch and threw it at the wall. He checked the time on his phone, shit he needed to get his ass in gear.

He made coffee, brushed his teeth, took his meds and got dressed. He went downstairs and turned on the lights. He ran his hands over the hundreds of records that he had shipped halfway across the country. His dad had bought most of these, there were several boxes upstairs of his dads personal collection that he knew he would never sell. Everything else down here though- it was fair game. He picked through some records behind the counter until he found one he wanted to play. He flipped it over, blew some of the dust off and put it on the record player. Soothing sounds of an acoustic guitar filled the store. He went to the front door, slowly unlocked it and flipped the sign to open in the window. He wasn’t expecting a booming business. There was enough in his savings to keep the lights on for years. This was enough for him; he could just waste away here.

Going back to the counter he sat down and watched the street life outside. A couple cars drove by, a few bikers. People came and went from Lava Java. And Keith sat quietly, sipping at the coffee he had made. Feeling a little tense he pulled out his phone again. Three missed calls from Shiro. A couple dozen texts, from Shiro, and Acxa. He ignored all of them.

Curiosity got the better of him and he carefully went through the motions of re-downloading Instagram. He had deleted it shortly after the guys pulled their stunt and kicked him out of the band. Logging into his account he found thousands of notifications, thousands of DM’s. So many new follow requests.

He clicked onto his page and regretted it. Its not like he posted much, but he posted enough to make him feel a pang. God, he _missed_ it. The performing. He always went ape shit on stage. His hair would be dripping with sweat, his voice hoarse. But he loved every second of it. No other band could touch their stage presence. The crowds ate it up. It was the fuel for Keith’s fire. Not being able to perform, it left a hole in his stomach.

Looking at his own pictures of him and the guys posing on stage with thousands of fans behind them hurt, so he scrolled through his feed instead. He forgot how many influencers followed him. Bored of everyone’s “fabulous” lives he went to his DM’s. A lot of worried fans “reaching out” to see if he was ok. Matty Healy sent him a couple messages as well, which he responded to.

There were some messages from Shiro, from the label. None of it interested him anymore.

There was only one more thing he wanted to check before he got off the app and probably deleted it again. Going back to his page he clicked on his followers. He had several million, but he was looking for one person. In the search bar he typed “Lance McClain”. A couple Lance’s popped up and he scrolled through until he saw an icon that looked familiar. So Lance did follow him. Keith wondered why he didn’t recognize Keith.

He clicked on Lance’s profile and felt a leap when he saw his account was public. Well, of course it was. He was a writer for _Breath._ His account seemed to reflect Lance’s usually bubbly personality. Pictures of him at concerts, at _Breath_ headquarters. Sunsets, beaches. It made Keith smile.

The door clicked open and Keith nearly dropped his phone. A couple of teenagers stood in the doorway. One nudged the other, and the bravest said, “Is this like, a store? Is it open?”

Keith smiled gently. He knew the tattoos and years of exhaustion under his eyes could be… a lot. “It is. And y’all are my first costumers.”

The teens smiled. They were holding Lava Java cups in their hands. They began to browse through Keith’s collection, bickering with each other. In the end they had a lot of question about vinyl, the sound quality, and wondered if Keith had recommendations. They spent around 100 bucks before they left and Keith felt decently accomplished.

That feeling quickly dissipated however, he only had a couple stragglers come in and none of them bought anything. There was also a feeling nagging at Keith’s stomach, but he couldn’t quite place it. Glancing back across the street Keith realized what it was. He thought Lance would be the first one through the door. But he hadn’t been. The disappointment was more powerful than Keith thought it would be.

***

Hours later Keith was reorganizing a section of vinyl when he heard the front door creak open. Sighing internally he turned to face whatever customer he’d have to make small talk with.

“You look like you’re having a _great_ time.” Lance drawled from the doorway. He shook two cups of iced coffee.

Keith felt a smile on his face. God had he wanted to see Lance that badly? “Hi.” He breathed. Lance looked at him a bit strangely and Keith grimaced. “Wow, sorry. Its been… slow.”

“I figured, brought a little pick me up.” Lance set one drink down on the counter and gestured for Keith to come over. “Have you had any business?”

“Some. I didn’t expect for it to be insane.” He gratefully took the coffee and sat down behind the counter. “So… what’s up?”

“Hm. Not much. Wanted to come check on you, make sure the masses hadn’t fallen for your charm.” He smirked and waited for Keith’s response.

“Well, thank you.” He shook the iced coffee, “Not just for this, but ya know, for everything you’ve done so far.”

Lance smiled again, gracing Keith with his beautiful crows feet. “It’s the least I could do. Besides, I like the cut of your jib. By the way, I was wondering if you have any vinyl by a band called uh,” He pulled out his phone and clicked through a couple things, “Edge of Tomorrow?”

Keith felt his entire body freeze. His heart pounded thickly. “Um, I think so…” He managed to choke out. “Why?”

“My editor wants me to do a piece on them. Apparently there was a bunch of drama surrounding the band a while back. The lead singer or something quit?” He looked at Keith, oblivious.

“I, I don’t. But uh.” He stood up quickly and went to the “E” section. He pulled out the bands first couple of albums. He didn’t write too much on these. Maybe he’d get lucky and Lance wouldn’t make the connection.

Lance was smiling at him and pulling out his wallet. Keith managed to hold up a shaking hand, “Na… just borrow them. If you like what you hear you can buy them then, yeah?”

Lance looked at him curiously and nodded. “Thanks man. I’ll talk to you soon.”

As soon as Lance left Keith sunk into his chair and held his head in his hands.

_Lance_

As he rode his bike back to his apartment Lance went over everything he had said at Keith’s shop. He didn’t think he had said anything that was overstepping any bounds, but Keith had tensed up and gotten… scared? It hadn’t made any sense.

But it was just like him to fuck things up. Keith was way out of his league anyways, and probably straight for all Lance knew.

On the other hand he was just grateful to get an assignment. It had been a long time since his editor had trusted him with a piece this big. He had never heard of the band Edge of Tomorrow before, but they were more metal core, a genre Lance wasn’t used to. It was just another thing he would have to get used to if he wanted to keep his job.

The band had been surrounded by controversy in the past couple of months and Lance’s editor wanted him to get to the bottom of it. Of course that meant interviewing some of the band members. Lance had already reached out to the drummer, some dude named Rolo. Rolo followed Lance on Instagram so he figured it would be easier to get on the band if he interviewed the one guy that seemed to know him.

Lance checked his watch as he pedaled home. He had a phone interview with Rolo in about fifteen minutes, he better book it if he wanted to get home on time. He also wasn’t sure how he should start or carry out this interview. It would have been better if he had done a little bit more background on the band before the interview, but Rachel had him stay a lot longer today than usual. But apparently Edge of Tomorrow _was_ huge; maybe he could swing the piece as a bands rise to stardom and its eventual fall.

Lance locked up his bike and headed up to his apartment. He set up his laptop, made sure his phone was charging and ready to record the phone call for any quotes he wanted to pull later. With the remaining minutes he had before the phone call he made several notes.

_Edge- how did it start_

_Touring/what that was like_

_Writing/producing music_

_Fall out with guitarist_

It wasn’t a long list, but it seemed like it would be enough to get Lance started. It would be incredible to nail an interview with the guitarist. The dude either left the band or was kicked out, all those details would be pretty murky. Plus the only way to write a well-rounded piece would be to get all sides of the story. The music industry was messy… Lance knew that well enough. Unfortunately Lance had seen it all, the backstabbing, the money grabbing, the different addictions.

What had been Edge’s downfall?

Right on cue Lance’s phone rang. _“Alright Lance, it has been a while but you can do this. It’s just a phone interview. Ask your questions and be done with it.”_ He muttered internally. He answered the call. “Rolo?”

“Yep. Is this Lance?”

“Unfortunately.” This made Rolo chuckle, “Thanks for agreeing to this. From what I’ve heard y’all have been in a tricky position.”

“Yeah, it hasn’t been fun.” He paused, “So… what do you want to know?”

“Well, lets start with the easy stuff first. Can you tell me about how Edge of Tomorrow started?”

There was a smile on Rolo’s voice as he answered, “I’ve known the guys forever. Jamie since high school. Met the other guys along the way. All of our early gigs were in seedy bars and garages. Jamie did most of the writing for the first couple of albums. He’s never been the best…” Rolo laughed again, “It was a lot of punk shit. Screaming about lost loves and hating our parents.”

“Our early influences were a lot of pop punk bands, My Chemical Romance, Green Day, shit like that. It wasn’t until we started to grow out of that that people started to take notice. We worked our way up from bars to local shows to headlining some smaller festivals. We did one summer on Warped Tour and that was the kicker for us.”

Lance typed out as Rolo talked, one skill he had developed over the years. “So what was that like, Warped Tour boosting your fame?”

“We got a lot of new fans that way. They spread the word for us and we got to meet a lot of really cool people. Still in touch with a lot of them. But it was new for us… having people getting tattoos for our band or wanting pictures and autographs. We are all fucking awkward so it was hard to adjust. It is still a lot like that in a lot of ways.”

Lance hummed and rubbed at his chin, “So what has touring been like? You guys have gotten huge in the past couple of years.”

“It sucks. Honestly. No sleeping, you eat like twice a week, living out of a suitcase. Shit like that.” Rolo stopped for a moment, “But it also the best fucking thing in the world. The lights, the noise, screaming people. Performing and doing what I love every single night.”

“Through this band I’ve been able to see the world. When I was 16 playing on a shitty second hand drum kit I never could have imagined that I’d play sold out venues in Japan, Africa, and Europe. It’s been insane, but I love it. We’ve been home for a while, trying to pump out a new album, but ya know…”

“These things take time?”

“Exactly.”

“Ok so, onto some of the hard stuff.” Lance popped his fingers and got ready to type, “Can you tell me about some the drama that’s happened in the past month? How its effected the band?”

Rolo sighed heavily. “I still don’t like to talk about it. We’ve been avoiding the press as much as possible but the rumors are getting out of hand.”

“How so?”

“Jamie and our guitarist started to have some disagreements about the direction of the band. K, well he wrote the most recent album. It is our most popular, by leagues. It got to Jamie. Like I said he was never the best at lyrics. Honestly K did everything for the most recent album. The lyrics, all of the music and tracking. And it kills. That’s why we were able to tour and play massive arenas around the world.”

“The contract we had with our label was up soon and K wanted to leave, go independent. And we could’ve. Easily. If he kept doing what he was doing then we could’ve been _the_ biggest metal core band in the world.”

Lance rubbed his chin, “So why did Edge resign with Black Records?”

“Jamie and our manager insisted. Jamie didn’t trust K enough to be able to carry the band. Even though he had been for years.” Rolo groaned, “And there was a lot more to it than that but… its private shit. I don’t want to spread anything around. K was really fucked up by this, and the other bullshit that happened. We haven’t spoken in months. His brother can’t even get ahold of him.”

“Right, right.” Lance felt stupid for the question he was about to ask, “K is just his stage name right? Remind me of his full name.”

“Oh yeah, yeah, sorry. I forget sometimes. His name is Keith. Keith Kogane.”

Lance felt his heart stop. He sucked in a quick breath. No way, that couldn’t be. “Um, Rolo. Sorry, I have another call coming in. Can I call you with any follow up questions?”

“Yeah of course. Bye man.”

The call ended and beeped loudly. Shakily Lance pulled up Google and typed “Keith Kogane” into the search bar. Headlines about his sudden disappearance from the band, and from the world it seemed blurred in front of Lance’s eyes. Slowly he clicked on images and felt his heart stop.

***

The blaring of his alarm woke Lance the next morning. Groaning he flipped over in bed and shut it off, rubbing at his crusty eyes. He had stayed up too late last night after his revelation.

He couldn’t _believe_ he hadn’t recognized Keith.

Keith Kogane. Keith _motherfucking_ Kogane. Moved to his town? Right across the street from his sisters coffee shop. Small wonders he supposed. But, the longer Lance thought about it last night he rationalized it all in his head. Keith’s hair was a lot longer now; of course he probably hasn’t cut it in months. Not after all the bullshit. And his tattoos looked completely different in person. In pictures they all seem to blend together. In person they are individual designs, more of a part of him.

But it was still insane. Lance knew the infamous “K”. Lance had been into him for years now, right when they started to be in the news more. And of course _Breath_ had covered them before, but none of those articles were in his division of the magazine. Hell, Lance even followed him on Instagram. He has lusted after those sweaty post concert pictures he would post. He would see videos that would circulate of K performing and it was nothing Lance had ever seen before. But of course most of those videos were of post rehab Keith. There were news articles and blogs and Youtube videos speculating about what drugs he had been on and how much of them.

But rehab seemed to have done him good. And who was Lance to judge? He had written his fair share of articles on band members falling off the bandwagon. It was an all too real reality of the business. It destroyed people. _“Thank god it didn’t destroy Keith.”_ Lance thought suddenly.

This made him sit up in bed. “Wow, ok Lance get a grip. You hardly know the guy.” But he couldn’t stop thinking about it. The pictures of a disheveled Keith headed to rehab. How skinny and malnourished he looked. How _terrified._ It made Lance’s blood boil. But he couldn’t tell if he was mad at Keith for doing that to his own body or the drugs that almost ate him away.

Why was he even worried? Why did he want to rush to Keith’s store and punch him in the face and ask him why he did something so stupid? But most of all, why did he want to run his hands through Keith’s hair and hold him and tell him that everything would be ok?

Lance lurched out of bed and stumbled down the ladder of his loft. He hardly made it to his toilet before he threw up the meager contents of his stomach. He retched a few times and took a deep breath, wiping the tears from his eyes. He wasn’t throwing up because of Keith, there was no way. Ate something bad last night that was it.

Weakly he climbed back up to his loft and collapsed back in bed, covered in a slick sweat. He picked up his phone and called his sister. She answered on the first ring. “Lance? You alright?”

“How did you know something was wrong?”

“Sister intuition.”

Lance attempted a grin, “I just puked. I think I have food poisoning.”

“Shit. Well, we were closing up early today anyways, for Labor Day. Stay home baby brother. Get some sleep. I’ll bring some soup by later.”

“Thanks Rach.” Lance hung up and squeezed his eyes shut. Soon exhaustion pulled him back into a deep sleep.

***

Lance woke to a knocking on his door.

Checking the time he saw that it was after the coffee shop closed. Probably Rachel then. He still felt a little sore and weird, but not like he was going to puke his guts out anymore. He made his way down his ladder and pulled on a pair of dark gray joggers on the way to the door.

Unlocking it and creaking it open he did meet eyes with his sister, who looked more concerned than he thought she would. “Rach?” He opened the door enough to see that she wasn’t alone. She was standing there with their older brother, Marco. Lance felt his throat close up. “Rach?” He asked again, his voice incredibly small.

Rachel pushed into Lance’s studio apartment and set down a container of soup on the counter. “I’m so sorry, he showed up at the shop and he refused to leave until I brought him here.”

Marco held up his hands in mock surrender in the doorway. “I just want to talk Lance, please.” His eyes softened, “I haven’t seen my baby brother in almost six years…” His voice broke.

Lance didn’t know if it was because he was sick, or it was Rachel’s presence, for the fact that Marco was _here_ and calling him his “baby brother” but… Lance burst into tears. Rachel was instantly at his side, and Marco tentatively stepped into the apartment and shut the door. “Lance? Can I?” Marco asked again.

He stared at his older brother through his tears. Marco looked… older. He was only a year older than Rachel, but the years hadn’t been as kind to him. There were deep wrinkles around his eyes. But his hair was still thick and chestnut brown, at least Lance wouldn’t go bald. Rachel had a firm hold on Lance’s arms but he shook her hands off. He was suddenly aware that he was shirtless, and sick and hadn’t showered in a while, but his older brother, the man he had looked up as a child, was here. He took several tentative steps toward Marco, still crying. Marco started to cry again as well and he closed the space between the two of them and swooped Lance up into his arms, just like when Lance was little.

“Lance, I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” Marco whispered, still not letting go of him.

Lance tightened his grip around Marco’s shoulders. “What… what’re you doing here?”

Marco put Lance down and Rachel handed both of them Kleenex and rolled her eyes, but she did wind her hands together nervously. Lance blew his nose and found a black hoodie to zip over his bare chest. Marco took a deep breath; “I wanted to say I’m sorry, for leaving you alone for so long. And I… I’ve never agreed with mom and dad. Never.”

Lance grimaced and sat down heavily on his couch. “Oh.”

“I know that doesn’t explain why I’ve stayed away all these years but… I hope you’ll let me try and explain.”

Rachel sat down on the couch next to Lance and rubbed his shoulders. “Are you up to that right now? I know you’re sick as hell.”

It took a long moment for Lance to wrap his head around what was happening. There was a dull buzz just behind his eyes and he wondered if he should be concerned. He looked up at his brother. Marco was looking at him like Lance was some delicate thing, but also a delicate thing that could easily destroy this already fragile relationship. “I… I missed you, big brother.”

Marco smiled, but it was sad. “I missed you too.” He sat down in one of Lance’s wing chairs and rested his elbows on his knees. “And I don’t think I will ever be able to apologize enough for everything this family has put you through.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“It is, though. We all let mom and dad control us all for too long.”

“Marco, its ok. I forgave everyone a long time ago.” He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “I do understand why you all stayed away.”

Marco sat and regarded his baby brother for a long time. He had grown so much. His skin was still darker than the rest of the families; he was out in the sun a lot. His hair was long and shaggy but it suited him. Those light blue eyes snapped with so many different emotions. Goddamn he was so proud of this kid. “I’ve read every article you’ve ever published.” Marco admitted.

Lance grinned and felt more tears. “A lot of it is pretty shit.”

The three McClain siblings all laughed together. Rachel watched her brothers and felt it in her gut that things were going to start looking up. “Well, lets have some soup and we’ll talk. Then we can let you sleep more baby brother.”

Lance grinned and took a deep breath.

_Keith_

He was drunk. He wasn’t sure when he started drinking, but he had been drinking for a long time. There was an empty bottle of whiskey on his counter and he was sipping carefully at his last glass. Since rehab he tried not to drink, of course it happened but it was never as bad as it used to be.

But he had a fucked up week. He hadn’t seen or spoken to Lance since he’d come over for some of Edge’s records. Of course Lance had figured out who he was by now and probably didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. His past and whatever the band members might’ve told him… hell Keith didn’t even like himself anymore. How was he supposed to connect to anyone?

The world didn’t offer him that privilege anymore. He angrily chugged the rest of the whiskey, not even feeling the burn anymore. He kept pacing but he felt like a caged animal. It was pouring outside and he at least knew to keep out of that rain. But he felt insane, he needed to talk to someone but he didn’t know whom.

His phone rested on the counter and he picked it up, slowly passing it back and forth between his hands. More than anything he wished he could call his dad. It didn’t matter how big the problem might be, he always had advice for Keith. On the band, on life, on whatever might be bothering him. But that had all gone away after he passed.

When Keith had gotten the call he hadn’t wanted to believe it. His dad was only 58 and healthy and strong. The person on the other end of the line kept saying “heart attack”. But Keith couldn’t understand it. A heart attack had taken his dad? The one constant in his life?

Shiro had burst into the green room shortly after Keith had gotten the call. Tears were streaming out his eyes. “Did the hospital call you?”

Keith found that he could only nod. Shiro rushed across the room and pulled his little brother into his arms. Keith slowly hugged his brother back and that’s when Jamie and the rest of the guys had come into the room. They were all drunk and laughing. Jamie like to be drunk to perform. Rolo had smacked him on the arm to shut him up. “K?” Rolo asked.

He just shook his head. Just kept shaking his head over and over. He blinked and looked up at his brother. “Shiro?”

His big brother broke then. Rolo came up to Keith and slipped and arm around his waist to keep him upright. In the distance Keith heard Shiro tell everyone what had happened. Rolo’s arm tightened around his waist. Jamie insisted that they didn’t cancel the show. Keith heard Rolo yelling at him, telling him to have some fucking compassion.

Eventually someone helped Keith sit down, got him some water. He and Shiro were on a plane the next morning. They hadn’t played the show, much to Jamie’s annoyance. All the tickets had been refunded and Keith and Shiro’s Twitter’s were full of messages from fans, letting them know they understood why they canceled the show.

The funeral had been simple, quiet. Just like their dad had been. Keith felt lifeless and empty that entire week. He only ate when someone watched him do it. He slept a lot. Wrote some lyrics. All the guys from the band came. Rolo and Ben were supportive; they’d always been on Keith’s side anyways.

Jamie and Acxa though, they kept their distance. Like they were plotting the whole time. Keith would find out months later that they had been. Plotting against him he meant.

Keith ran his fingers over his dads cell number and sighed. When had he started crying? The next number he found his fingers sliding to was Shiro’s. He had kept trying to contact Keith ever since that disastrous phone call about a week ago, but Keith was stubborn. But tonight… tonight he needed his brother.

With shaking fingers Keith pressed call and pressed the phone into his right ear. He bit at his thumbnail and bounced his leg as he waited. The phone rang, and rang and rang. “Shiro, please.” The tears in his eyes created a mist that he could no longer see clearly through. Then… Shiro picked up the phone. He sounded groggy.

“Keith? Keith are you ok?”

Keith realized he didn’t know what time zone Shiro was in. He was still touring with the band. “No I… Um. Did I wake you?”

“No, no. Its ok. Are you ok?”

Keith took a deep breath and shook his head and then realized Shiro couldn’t see him. “No. Shiro I’m not ok. I just… I need to talk to you.” Keith squeezed his eyes shut. “I’m sorry. For dropping off the face of the planet. For never calling and treating you like shit.”

It was silent on Shiro’s end of the line. “Shiro? Please… I just.”

“Keith. Holy shit. Yeah… I’m just surprised you called.” He took a deep breath, “And I should be the one apologizing.”

Keith groaned and opened his eyes, “Can we just not talk about band stuff? I just want to talk to my brother.”

“Yeah, Keith of course.”

“Can you just tell me a stupid story about dad? Anything? From when we were kids.”

Shiro chuckled a bit and Keith could tell he was crying too. “Do you remember when you came home with your first tattoo?”

“Wasn’t I like, 15?” Keith snorted.

“You were. One of your punk friends had done it with a shitty old machine. All the lines were shaky and you said it was supposed to be a cross.” Shiro sucked in a breath, “And dad looked at you like you were insane.”

Keith thought back to that night. When he was 15 and one of his friend’s older brother had given him that tattoo. It was supposed to a cross, but upside down. Keith fancied himself a sort of Satanist back then. But Shiro was right, the lines were sloppy and nothing connected. The cross looked more like a fat star. Their dad been horrified. Wondered why Keith would ever do something to his body that he couldn’t erase.

Of course Keith had argued back, defending the god-awful tat. Being 15 and full of righteous fury he’d stormed off in a huff, Shiro and his dad yelling after him. He went to his favorite spot in town, an old playground just a block away from home. He sat in the tunnel and drew his knees to his chest and felt angry tears streak down his face.

His dad knew where he went of course, but he gave Keith 10 minutes of brooding before he climbed into the tunnel after him. “Hey K.” He said simply.

Keith didn’t answer. His dad sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. “So. You’re older brother didn’t go through the whole, rebellious teenage phase, like you are.”

“I’m not being rebellious, I’m being myself.” Keith’s voice crocked. He was a late bloomer, his voice was still changing. He wanted to be like his older brother. Strong and handsome. But he didn’t want to be captain of the football team. Keith _hated_ sports. The bigger kids had made fun of him since he was little.

“I know K, I know. And you know I love you no matter what god awful music you listen to.”

Keith glared and yanked at the MCR bracelet on his wrist. “Everybody makes fun of me.” Keith’s face was covered in acne and his black hair never curled, it always frizzed. No one would talk to him… expect all the other punk kids. No one ever wanted to listen to him play guitar. And he was getting really good too.

Keith’s dad slid an arm around Keith’s scrawny shoulders and pulled his youngest son into his chest. “Oh son.”

“I know I’m weird. And I’m ugly. But I’m always nice, so why does everyone put me down all the time?” His voice cracked and he pulled harder at the bracelet.

“Is that why you got that tattoo?”

“Whadda you mean?”

“So the other kids would respect you.”

Keith thought about that for a moment. “Yeah. I guess.” He hadn’t thought about it like that really. He just thought the tattoo would look cool. He lifted up his pant leg and looked at the blob of black ink on his ankle. “It does kinda suck though, doesn’t it?”

His dad laughed. “It really does Keithy boy. It really does.”

To this day Keith hadn’t gotten that tattoo covered up. People noticed it of course and they always asked questions. But he left it a mystery. Just like his stage name. A lot of people thought he was just being edgy and used the first letter of his name, but no one knew where the nickname came from. He kept that a secret for his father.

“Shiro, I uh, missed you.” Keith said into the phone. His drunken mind still felt fuzzy, but he did feel better.

“I missed you too little brother.”

“I’ll uh, I’ll let you sleep now.” Keith hung up the phone. He wasn’t ready to tell Shiro he loved him yet. Some wounds still ran too deep. But he had his brother back in his life now. At least in some small way.

***

Days later Keith was sitting at the counter in his shop. No one had come in yet today. He almost walked across the street a thousand times. Lance’s bike was chained up outside. And Keith desperately wanted to see those laughing blue eyes. But he was afraid. Now that Lance knew who he was, he had no idea how he would approach him.

Did Lance hate him now? Is that why he hadn’t talked to Keith in almost two weeks? But why was Keith concerned? What was the point? They hardly knew each other. But Lance brought a calming presence into his life that he never knew he needed until it was gone. But Keith had more baggage than 10 people combined. Lance didn’t deserve all of the drama. Just because Keith’s life had been quiet for the past couple of months didn’t mean it would stay that way forever. Eventually someone would recognize him and the press would find him. His life would never be completely normal again.

And whoever was in his life would just get tangled in the mess.

Keith was debating just closing up the store early and sitting upstairs wallowing in his own misery when the door opened. And in walked Lance, sheepishly hold up several cups of coffee. “Truce?” He asked from the doorway.

Keith’s brow wrinkled. “A truce over what?”

“Me being an asshole?”

“I still don’t know what you’re trying to get at.”

Lance walked into the shop and up to the counter. “I went AWOL for like two weeks dude. After I said I’d been here to help. And we’re… friends.”

“Friends?”

“Yes,” Lance rolled his eyes, clearly worked up, “So take the damn coffee so we can talk?”

“Yeah, yeah of course. I was gunna close up the place early anyways.” Keith walked around from behind the counter and brushed Lance’s shoulder. Maybe on purpose? On accident? Who knew. He locked the front door and flipped the sign to closed and put both his hands on the window and took a deep breath. Then he turned to face Lance.

What did Lance want to talk about? Was going to accuse him? Scream at him? Tell him that he was an asshole and deserved everything the band did to him? Lance looked just as terrified as Keith felt. “We can uh… talk upstairs. If that’s ok with you?”

“Yeah, yeah man. I’ll be quick I just…” Lance rubbed the back of his neck, “Yeah.”

Keith decided not to answer. He slipped by Lance again and headed for the upstairs door. No one had been up his apartment. Was it clean? Did it smell? Did he leave any gross takeout anywhere? Was there laundry all over the floor? Fuck it. Lance probably wasn’t going to talk to anymore after this anyways.

They made their way up the stairs and Keith took a deep breath before he opened the door to his apartment. As he walked through the door he realized how barren the place looked. No pictures on the wall, any movies or books. The only personal objects were his clothes and couple boxes of his dad’s records. He supposed he could chalk it up to not having lived here long… but fuck.

Lance wandered into the kitchen and set the coffee down and scratched his neck. “So, um. You probably know why I’m here.”

Keith inhaled. “You know who I am. Right?”

“I do. I don’t know why I didn’t realize it before.” Lance tapped his drink against the countertop. He met Keith’s eyes, “But I see why you’d want to start over.”

“I uh…” He sat down on the couch. “Because of the rehab? Because of all the bad press?”

“No, no.” Lance crossed in front of Keith and sat down on the coffee table in front of him, facing him. “That’s not what I meant.” He scrubbed a hand over his face, “The world had created an image of you. I was thinking… probably overstepping here honestly but, you lost the picture of who you really were?”

Keith blinked at Lance for a moment. Lance took this as a negative response and kept blabbering. “You know that I’m writing an article about your- Edge. And I talked to Rolo. Did some research. And I don’t know the whole story. That’s not what I’m here for either; I just wanted to let you know that I’m on your side. And I still don’t really know what that means but… I” His voice finally drifted off. “Keith? I know I hardly know you and this all probably sounds ridiculous. But, could you say something? Even if it’s just to shut me up? Because I-“

Again Keith blinked. Just stared at the man sitting across from him, a worried expression on his face. This isn’t what he expected. Not at all. His brain constantly went to the worst, because that’s all he ever got from people in the past. “What?”

“I just, I want to get to know you, Keith. Even before I knew all the other bullshit I thought you were special.” Lance carefully, ever so delicately, pushed an errant lock of hair away from Keith’s eyes. “Just some crazy beautiful dude with tattoos and a troubled past.” Lance smirked and Keith snorted in spite of himself. “And I’m not doing this for the article. The exact opposite actually. So please, say something? Punch me? Tell me to never come back?”

“Why would I do that?” Keith asked, confused.

Lance snorted again and blushed furiously. “Because some guy you hardly know just burst into your home and started saying a bunch of weird shit about how you’re beautiful?” He laughed nervously again and made a move to stand up.

Keith grabbed Lance’s wrist before he could move away completely. He swallowed around the lump in his throat. “Don’t, don’t go.” He whispered quietly.

“You’re sure?”

“I’m sure.” Keith and Lance stared at each other for a bit longer. Then Lance walked back to the kitchen counter and grabbed the coffee and handed one to Keith. “Peace offering?” He muttered.

“Truce, peace offering, same thing.” Lance sat back down on the coffee table and fidgeted nervously with his fingers.

Keith felt his brow furrow. “So like, how do we do this? What are we even doing?” His stomach twisted almost painfully as he gazed back at Lance. There was a whole world in those blue eyes of his, worlds Keith wanted to get to know intimately. But he didn’t understand what Lance wanted. Friendship? A causal fling? And how did Keith know he could trust Lance? He said he wasn’t going to use Keith for his article but he hardly knew the guy. He found that he couldn’t make eye contact anymore and he fluttered in what he was trying to say.

“Keith…” Lance gently took one of his hands, “This is going to sound so fucking stupid so if you want me to shut up please just hit me, alright?” Lance grimaced and went on, “I just feel like we’re connected in a weird way? And from what I’ve seen the world has put you through shit and I know I don’t even know the full extent of it but… I wanna be there for you. I wanna be someone you can talk to.”

Why was Keith the one at a loss for words in this situation? Lance was clearly putting a lot on the line and Keith was just sitting here like an idiot. He closed his mouth and tightened his grip on Lance’s hand. “I’m not good with words.” This made Lance snort. “But I uh, I want this. Whatever it is your offering because… I uh, I trust you.” He carefully met Lance’s eyes. “But I don’t know how to do this- whatever it is-“

Keith’s string of nonsense words were cut off when Lance kissed him. _Kissed_ him. He found that he kept blinking. Lance’s eyes were closed, and his hands were on his face. There were so many “his’s” going through Keith’s brain and he couldn’t keep up. But Lance, this brave and impulsive idiot was kissing him. Keith closed his eyes. He had a death grip on Lance’s right wrist.

Then Lance’s tongue was in his mouth and Keith inhaled and he felt Lance grin. He pulled away slightly. “I shouldn’t have done that, right?” Lance mumbled into his lips.

Keith shook his head against Lance’s their foreheads bumping, “I just wasn’t expecting it.” Lance’s hands were still on his face.

He nudged forward ever so slightly, rubbing his nose against Keith’s. “Can I do it again?”

Keith answered by pushing his lips back against Lance’s. He still didn’t fully understand what was happening, how they ended up here. But Keith felt safe, relaxed. It wasn’t a feeling he was used to. Lance pushed against his mouth and Keith answered. Lance’s hands pushed into his hair and Keith gripped helplessly at his t-shirt.

When Lance finally pulled away Keith was shaking, and he couldn’t figure out why. He’d been kissed before- so many times. Kissing didn’t mean anything. It was everything that came after that Keith liked. But this was… nice. Kissing Lance was wonderful, actually. He finally opened his eyes and found Lance watching him carefully. “You ok?”

“Yeah. Yeah I’m fine. Just… processing.” He watched Lance, “I’m just. I’m a mess. A fucking mess, everything about my life, and my past… I don’t want to drag you into that. And I have issues. You know about the rehab.” Lance only nodded in response. To Keith’s surprise his eyes filled with tears. “And you seem nice. I don’t want to ruin you.”

Lance laughed again. “So you’ve got a dark past.” His eyes darkened, “We all do. But that’s not who you are now.” He pushed one hand into Keith’s hair again, “And I said I want to be someone you can talk to. Someone you can trust.”

Keith just nodded and nodded. His grip on Lance’s t-shirt tightened. “Yeah. Yeah. Ok.”

“You don’t have to tell me the full story now. You don’t ever if you don’t want to. Just know that I’m here, yeah?”

Keith felt his head fall forward until his forehead rested on Lance’s forehead. “Yeah.”

***

Keith opened his eyes the next morning, stretching and processing what had all happened last night. Lance had left shortly after the first couple of kisses. He knew he had overwhelmed Keith with all the declarations and kissing and what not.

And he was overwhelmed, but not in a bad way. He felt some strange sensation creeping up the back of his throat. He was pretty sure this was happy. Again it was an emotion he hadn’t felt in a long time. Not for months. Not since the band dicked him over. He tried desperately to stay away from those memories but they came crashing back before he could stop them.

*Trigger Warning- Sexual Assault. To bypass skip over the section with italics* _K! K! K!_

_The crowd was chanting and Keith was smiling, waving and bowing over his guitar. Then he followed the rest of the guys off the stage. Someone handed him a towel and he took it gratefully. He wiped off his face and the back of his neck. He found a water bottle and chugged it._

_Rolo slapped him on the back and played some rhythms on Keith’s back. “You were fucking sick out there tonight dude.” He attempted to ruffle Keith’s hair was too sweaty. “And gross.”_

_“Thank you.” Keith bowed again. “How many songs are we doing for the encore?” He asked no one in particular._

_“Four. Dead Rising, Hope, Scene and Malleable.” Ben said. He was tuning his bass._

_“Sick.” Keith handed his black guitar over and hopped up and down a few times. The crowd was getting rowdier and louder._

_GIVE US K. GIVE US K. GIVE US K._

_Rolo was sitting on the floor tapping out more rhythms. “You’re adoring fans are waiting for you!” He said in a mock singsong._

_Keith rolled his eyes. But Ben joined in, “They want you to sweat on them.”_

_“Ew! Dude what the hell.” Rolo kicked at Ben’s ankle._

_Keith knew his buddies meant well but this kinda shit did get to him. He_ _was in the band for one reason and one reason only, to play music. It had been his dream since he was kid and his dad gave him his first second hand guitar. He used that guitar for every encore performance. But the fans, especially the over zealous ones, made him nervous. When he was just walking around with the guys from the band, at a Starbucks or where ever people screamed “Daddy!” Or “Fuck me!”_

_He always played it off, smiled and laughed. But it got to him. He was out, everyone knew he was gay. But that didn’t stop countless women trying to “turn him straight”. They’d corner him in hotel rooms, outside venues. It wasn’t fun. But it was part of the charm, the allure of the band. Keith couldn’t destroy that completely. The fans would riot._

_A stagehand handed Keith his purple guitar. Fans loved that he only used it for encores. He had red, green and black guitars for the regular performance. And if they thought they’d seen Keith do it all before, the encore is where he really shined. He left all of him out on that stage._

_He noticed Jamie watching him from behind a curtain. His eyes were dead. Jamie had been weird ever since Keith’s dad died. He was quiet, withdrawn. Of course he was his usual bombshell self on stage, but off it he was odd. Acxa had been glued to his side lately. Those two had flings in the past, but it always ended in screaming matches._

_She appeared behind him now, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. His dead gaze left Keith and turned to Acxa. Ben noticed the pair and rolled his eyes. He tied his shoes a little tighter and slapped his cheeks. “Shouldn’t keep them waiting any longer.”_

_Rolo stood up and bounced a few times. “Stop necking back there and get your pretty ass out on the stage.” Rolo said in Jamie’s general direction. Ben nodded and headed back on stage first. The screams from the fans intensified. Rolo slapped Keith’s shoulder and headed out next, banging his drum sticks together. Finally Jamie came and stood next to Keith._

_“Least popular to our shining star,” He sent Keith an icy glare, “Right. K?”_

_“Don’t be an ass. Get out there.” Keith gave Jamie a push and watched him as he walked on stage. His poker face was incredible. No one would ever guess he was a raging asshole. Acxa came and stood next to Keith. It was also tradition for the band to pretend to start to play without Keith, let the crowd riot just a bit more._

_“Enjoying the spotlight?” She asked._

_Keith glared at her. “I don’t know what you and Jamie have been getting at lately, but you know I’m just here for the music.”_

_“You keep telling yourself that.”_

_Jamie was yelling something into the mic. “Hey, hey now! We’re trying to play our encore! Aren’t you cynics excited?”_

_GIVE US K. GIVE US K. GIVE US K._

_It seemed like the entire arena was chanting it now. Keith felt it in his chest. Jamie pretended to laugh up on stage, “Oh. Oh I see. We forgot something, didn’t we boys?” Ben and Rolo laughed and dramatically rolled their eyes. “K. Get your ass out here. People are starting to lose their shit out here!”_

_Keith rolled his neck and slapped his knees. Then he jumped out on stage and the screaming in the arena went up a few octaves. A girl on barrier screamed louder than everyone around her. She was yelling “K! K! Have my babies!”_

_His mood flattered ever so slightly, but soon it all faded away. They ripped into their first song, Dead Rising. Keith could feel and hear the entire arena screaming the lyrics along with Jamie. This song was a little more pop punk than the rest of the album, but the rest was true to their metal core sound._

_After the first two songs Jamie started to talk a bit more, but the fans kept screaming over him. Only the people on stage would notice but Jamie’s eyes clouded over. He turned eyes to Keith. “Well, are you gunna give the people what they want?” The tone in his voice was playful, but his body language and eyes weren’t._

_Keith walked up to his mic and smirked when the crowds screamed before he could even get a word out. “Hey now.” He said quietly, smiling wider. “Thanks for coming out tonight.” People up in the nosebleeds probably couldn’t even make out what he was saying. A camera guy stood under him by the pit and he knew his image was being broadcasted on the 30-foot tall screens on either side of the stage. “Y’all aren’t gunna let me get a word out, are you?” More screaming._

_More chanting. The smiles, the cameras out in the audience all pointed at him, capturing his every move. It used to scare him. Now, now it just didn’t bother him. “We are grateful that so many people came out to support us tonight.” Keith sighed and pushed his hair back. “Only a couple more shows on this tour. And we’ve been working on a new album for you guys.”_

_The screams that answered Keith’s announcement shook the stage. He laughed into the mic, thousands of phones capturing the moment. “I’ve been dreaming about this shit since I was a kid, so again, thank you. You make our dream come true every night.”_

_With that they kicked into their last two songs. Leaving the crowd begging for more. The guys made their way to the green room and collapsed heavily on the couches. Keith chugged some water and wiped some sweat off his face. “That was fucking insane.” He said as Rolo collapsed next to him on the couch._

_“It was. I still can’t believe we get to play fucking arenas. All over the world. Four years ago we were still playing in Rolo’s shitty garage.” Ben laughed and ducked as Rolo chucked a pillow at his head._

_“Were we doing a meet and greet after this? I can never remember.” Rolo said tiredly._

_“Just a quick one.” Shiro said as he burst into the room. “Only 50 fans this time. Smile, sign some autographs, quick picture. Should be done in half an hour.” Shiro wordlessly handed Keith a hair tie. They’d been doing this for years. A routine that neither of them questioned._

_Keith pulled his sweaty hair into a high and sloppy bun. People kept telling him to cut his hair, but it was just chin level right now. He had had it longer in the past. “Just half an hour? Don’t they deserve more than just a few seconds?”_

_Shiro eyed him carefully. “You’re a saint baby brother.”_

_Jamie finally walked into the room. Sweat pants and glasses on. “Dude we have a meet and greet.” Rolo sounded pissed._

_“Not doing it. I’m exhausted.” He glared at Ben and Rolo, “And you know they all only come for Keith anyways.” He met eyes with Keith, “Their precious K.”_

_“Don’t be an ass. People paid money to meet_ all _of us.” Keith shook out his shirt and stood up, making his way across the room. Shiro put a hand on his chest. His eyes said,_ “Don’t make a scene baby brother.” _Keith rolled his eyes. “If you’re going to be an asshole then wait on the bus.” Ben and Rolo followed Keith out of the room._

_“What do we tell them? What’s our excuse for Jamie not being there this time?” Rolo sounded worried. Jamie had skipped out on the last two meet and greets._

_“Just tell them that he has raging diarrhea. Something to embarrass him.” Ben rolled his eyes and unbuttoned his shirt. Looked better for pictures._

_The meet and greet went relatively smoothly. Lots of selfies and “thank you so much’s”. They did make Keith feel awkward but it was fun. It was only a few minutes but seeing the people that fueled his dreams made it worth it._

_When they finally got back to the bus Rolo was sound asleep. They played their last few tour dates and the tour ended. Then the shit hit the fan._

_They were at a meeting at the label weeks after the tour ended. The royalties were still pouring in. Merch sales, albums sales, they all spiked. Their manager was through the roof. But Jamie wasn’t. He was still bitching when the meeting began. And little did Keith know he had worked the system in his favor._

_Shiro and Keith sat in disbelief after Edge’s manager dropped the news. “Wait, what?”_

_“You heard what he said, Keith.” Jamie’s eyes were glinting with victory._

_“There’s no way in hell my contract is up. We all signed them_ together _three years ago. They are up again for another year.” Keith felt his anger rising. Ben and Rolo sat staring open mouthed at the scene unfolding before them. “Shiro…” Keith turned to his brother. But he looked just as confused._

_“I was there. Steve you were there! You drew up the contracts! There is no one Keith’s contract is up!”_

_“I’m sorry. It is. Keith didn’t sign his contract as Keith, he signed it for K. K is in the band, Keith isn’t.”_

_“You have got to be fucking kidding me.” Keith slammed a fist on the table. “Jamie is making you pull this contract bullshit with my_ stage name _?”_

_“You realize the band wouldn’t be here without Keith right?” Rolo spoke up._

_Jamie crossed his arms over his chest, “Doesn’t mean shit now. K is out. That means Keith too.”_

_The rest of the meeting dulled. A faint buzzing filled Keith’s ears and his vision. Shiro was yelling. Rolo looked like he was crying. Ben sat in shocked silence. And the entire time Jamie sat in victory. It was such a stupid loophole, one tiny thing that Keith had overlooked, and now suddenly his entire life was ripped from beneath his feet. Over a goddamn_ stage name.

_At one point he stumbled out of his chair and out into the hallway. Someone was calling after him but he didn’t know who. And he didn’t stop. Not until he was out in the parking lot behind the labels building._

_“You had to have seen this coming.” Jamie’s voice ripped him to the present. He leaned up against the brick wall and lit a cigarette. “The rehab, the songs. All of it. You became the center of attention. Even though the band was_ my _idea in the first place. But no, ever since the world caught a glimpse of your pretty fucking face its been the K show.”_

_“So that’s it, you’re jealous? You hunted for months in our contracts to find a way to kick me out of the band because you’re_ jealous _?”_

_Jamie advanced toward Keith until he had Keith pinned against the wall. Then he was screaming in Keith’s face. “Do you have_ any _fucking idea what its like to perform under your shadow? To have crowds chant_ your _name over and over again, night after fucking night? I don’t even know who I am anymore! I’m your shadow, I’m, I’m nothing!”_

_Keith inhaled and tried to push Jamie away. But he wouldn’t budge. “And you’re so fucking blind to all of this. You don’t even realize, you haven’t seen it.”_

_“Seen what? That you’re a paranoid asshole?”_

_Jamie roughly grabbed Keith’s chin and slammed his mouth into Keith’s. It came out of nowhere, so suddenly. Keith couldn’t move. Jamie’s hand kept Keith’s pinned above his head against the brick wall. His other hand slid down Keith’s body and groped at him. Keith struggled against him but he was stuck. Jamie’s mouth finally moved from Keith’s and he sucked in a deep breath. “Jamie, stop it… let me go.”_

_His teeth scraped against Keith’s neck painfully. “I’ve been in love with you this whole fucking time.” He said into Keith’s neck. He felt Jamie’s tears on his neck._

_“Jamie, stop it. Please…” He twisted his hands out of Jamie’s grasp and tried to push him away but Jamie just pushed him back harder into the wall. “Jamie?”_

_His lips tripped down Keith’s neck and his hands started to rip at his shirt. Keith couldn’t get away. He tried to knee Jamie but he moved just in time. Keith felt that he was starting to cry. What was happening? How could this be happening? Jamie’s hips started to move and Keith tried to sneak away but he couldn’t get away. “Jamie…” His voice was a sob now._

_His voice was cut off when Jamie slammed his lips to his again. “Stop…” Keith muttered._

_“I’ve been in love with you.” Jamie sounded mad now. His hands were all over Keith now. His shirt inched higher and higher up his body._

_“I said stop!” Keith got a grip on one of Jamie’s wrists and tried to push him away. But before either Jamie or Keith could react Jamie’s head whipped to the side and he was on the ground._

_“What were you doing to my brother?” Shiro was screaming. He was on top of Jamie now, and he landed a few solid punches._

_Keith was shaking and crying and he fell to the ground. “Shiro! No, don’t! Don’t hurt him!” He didn’t know why he was asking Shrio to stop beating on the man he thought he could trust. The man who kicked him out of the band, took his money, and just assaulted him. “Shiro!” Everyone was yelling and suddenly Rolo was there, holding him. Keith’s hands were bleeding, so was his back from the brick wall._

_“Shiro! Leave him alone! Keith is hurt!”_

_Ben was trying to pull Shiro off Jamie. He couldn’t even see Jamie’s face anymore. All Keith saw was red. Shiro seemed to come out of his daze and glance back at Keith. Rolo was stroking his hair and Ben had pulled of his t-shirt and tried to press it into Keith’s bleeding hands. “Shiro.” Keith’s voice was only a whisper. At least he thought he had spoken out loud. He couldn’t be sure._

_Shiro looked over Keith’s head at someone. “Call the police. Now. Don’t let that fucker out of your sight.”_

_Rolo helped Keith stand and he shakily made his way to Shiro. His brother picked him up and started to carry him back inside. “Does he need an ambulance?” Someone asked. All Keith could do was shake. He didn’t realize how hard he was crying until he saw the wet spot form on Shiro’s shirt._

_Shiro looked down at him, his eyes still glazed with a blind fury. “Keith? Can you hear me? Do you need to go to a hospital?”_

_Keith clutched his hands in his brother’s shirt. “No. No. I just…” His voice choked off._

_The group crashed through the back doors Keith had recently come out of. They were sitting in a conference room on the first floor of the building. Shiro sat Keith down on top of the table. He didn’t realize his shirt was in so many tatters._

_His hands were shaking. Why? Because of the blood? Was it cold in here?_

_“Keith.” Rolo was in front of him. “Keith, hey, look at me. Please?”_

_“I am looking at you.” Keith’s voice sounded far away to his own ears. Rolo chuckled and Keith saw tears in his eyes._

_“Yeah. Yeah you are. But you’re scaring me buddy. Can you talk to me?”_

_“Talk about what?” Keith shook all over. His teeth were chattering. “That Jamie tried to rape me?” Then he was sobbing. Harder than he ever thought he could. His throat hurt. He might vomit. He was going to throw up._

_He pushed Rolo out of the way and threw up into the small trashcan in the corner of the room. Shiro was back at his side. “We need to take you to the hospital. Baby brother?”_

_Keith must have nodded or said yes because next thing he knew he was in Shiro’s car on the way to the ER._

_He only spent a night. But the therapy lasted a month or two after. That is until he skipped town. Rolo, Ben and Shiro were forced to stay at the label unless they wanted to get sued for whatever money they still had left. They didn’t have a choice. Keith understood. He did. But it didn’t help that Jamie got off with a warning. A simple warning. And now he was the head of Edge. And Keith was lost to the wind._

_Lance_

He’d kissed Keith Kogane. Keith motherfucking Kogane. And Keith had kissed him back. But in the hell was he supposed to do now? Just keep, kissing him sometimes? When they both felt like it? Were they dating?

What was Keith doing? He had no idea. But he knew he wanted to help Keith. In whatever way he could. Even if it was just tending to Keith’s emotional wounds. Hell Lance knew he had some of his own, but Keith had deeper scars.

Lance was sitting at his desk chair, spinning back and forth carefully. The article he was writing on Edge was sitting in front of him, cursor blinking over and over again. He had tried to start the piece over and over again but had nothing. He didn’t know what direction he wanted to go in. He had contacted Ben and Shiro, and they had agreed to email interviews at least.

But Jamie, the lead singer of the band? He swore Lance out in the email he had sent back. Call Lance a “piece of fucking trash” for trying to get into his life. A “prying piece of shit”. It shocked Lance. Of course he was a journalist, these things happened. Honestly he had been called worse. But of course this meant Jamie was hiding something. And trying too hard to keep whatever it was a secret.

Made Lance want to get to the bottom of it. Of course he could ask Keith about it, but that wasn’t what this was about. He didn’t want to pry into Keith’s head and pull out all the secrets and then leave. Lance had a feeling that similar situations had happened to Keith in the past. Lance wasn’t going to use him like that. He was so much more than a thing to be used.

His alarm went off. Fuck. He’d stayed up all night. Luckily he could drink himself stupid with caffeine at Rachel’s place. He changed his clothes and went downstairs. He took his laptop and other writing stuff with him this time. Maybe getting out of his apartment would help his writer’s block.

Rachel either didn’t notice or didn’t care that her brother looked exhausted. But Lance charmed his way through the day, winking and flirting and making drinks so fast no one would ever write a complaint about the slow service again.

And the end of the day brought a hesitant Keith. He poked his head through the doorway and smiling ever so softly when he made eye contact with Lance. “Are you going to stand in the doorway all day?” Came Rachel’s voice. She stood laughing over by the wall of coffee beans.

“Oh. No. No.” Keith came inside and the door dinged shut softly behind him. He stared at Lance and Lance stared back at him. Rachel sensed the tension and made a soft excuse to leave the room.

Lance came out from behind the counter. “Keith? You ok?”

Keith stood there for a long minute. Then he shook his head. “I just… can we talk?”

“Of course we can. I promised you.” Keith moved across the remaining space between them and buried his head in Lance’s shoulder. Lance was surprised, but wrapped one arm around Keith’s waist and threaded the other into Keith’s hair. “Hey. Hey.” He pressed his lips to Keith’s forehead, “I’m here.”

Keith didn’t know why, but the fact that Lance didn’t say it was going to be ok, that Keith was going to get through this, comforted him. Lance was there. Holding him. That was enough for him.

“Lance, get out of here.” Rachel said quietly. She was already holding Lance’s backpack.

_“You’re sure?”_ He mouthed over Keith’s head. Rachel just nodded. Lance pushed back from Keith and gently lifted his chin. “You wanna go home? Or to my place?”

Keith flushed a bright red, realizing Rachel was watching them. He lost his voice. Shaking his head he just clutched at Lance’s shirt. “We can go to my place. Ok? We can walk. And talk if you want.” Lance watched Keith carefully. He just nodded. He was either too scared or too embarrassed to make eye contact.

He went and quickly grabbed his backpack from Rachel. “Is everything ok?” She whispered urgently.

“Everything _will_ be ok.” His determined eyes met his sisters and she saw something in them she hadn’t seen before. Determination? Trust? Love? It was hard to tell. All she knew was at that moment she felt such a surge of love for her baby brother, who seemed to grow up in front of her eyes.

She nodded one last time and then Lance turned back to Keith. He slipped an arm around his waist, and led him quietly from the shop. “You sure you want to walk to my place? Its about ten minutes.” He tried not to seem too worried, but Keith was freaking him out a little. He’d gone so white and quiet.

“Mhm. Walking, just walking will be nice.” He glanced at Lance, “And I’m sorry if I’m freaking you out. I’ll explain everything.”

“I already told you that you don’t have to.”

Keith desperately grabbed for Lance’s hand. “And I already told you that I trust you.”

The two men walked along in silence, the clicking of Lance’s bike wheels the only other sound. It was weird to hold Keith’s hand like this. It was very… _public._ It was pushing Lance’s limits a bit, but that was not the present issue. If Keith wanted to open up about his trauma and past then this was his time. Maybe later Keith would be willing to listen to Lance, too.

“Well,” Lance stopped walking and gently shook his hand free of Keith’s so he could lock up his bike, “This is my building.”

“Its nice.” Keith said softly. As soon as Lance’s hands were free again Keith grabbed for one. He realized what he was doing, “I’m sorry.”

Lance grabbed both of Keith’s hands and brought one gently to his lips. “Don’t be sorry. You don’t need to be sorry around me.” He smiled softly and led Keith through the building and up three flights of stairs to his studio apartment.

He unlocked the door and ushered Keith inside. “I know it’s not a lot. In fact its pretty damn small.”

Keith stood just inside the apartment and smiled. “I like it. It looks like you.”

Lance laughed nervously, “Looks like me?”

Keith nodded and walked back up to Lance and wrapped his arms around Lance’s waist, “Comforting. Happy.”

“Hm. Is that so?” Lance gently put his hands on Keith’s face. “Do you wanna talk to me?”

Keith buried his face in Lance’s shoulder. “In a bit. Can we just…”

“Yeah, of course.” He pulled away and said, “Come here.” He climbed up the ladder to his loft with Keith close behind. He settled on the bed motioned for Keith to follow. Keith sat down, a little awkward now. “I’m not asking you to do anything Keith. I promise. Just… come here.”

“Alright.” Keith sat back against Lance’s chest and Lance started to thread his fingers through Keith’s hair. He held Keith’s other hand. Soon Keith’s breathing evened out and Lance was sure he was asleep. “I didn’t leave Edge by choice.” Keith’s voice startled Lance a bit, “Jamie… he’s the lead singer. I don’t know after a while I think it all got to him.”

Lance turned his nose into Keith’s hair. “What got to him?”

Keith sighed heavily, “He wasn’t the face of the band. I was. Especially after the last album came out. I wrote all the songs, produced them. I guess I was more open and heavy on stage or some bullshit.” He squeezed Lance’s hand. “Everyone tells me he was jealous.”

Keith went quiet again. Lance guessed there was a lot more to the situation than he was letting on, but he wasn’t going to push Keith. This was his story, and Lance didn’t have a right to it until Keith told him. Lance continued to stroke Keith’s hair. “He uh, he found some stupid ass loophole in my contract and effectively kicked me out of the band.”

“What an asshole.”

“I have always performed as K. He was who I was. Of course the fans knew that K was just a stage name. But it was everything I had.” Keith took a deep breath, “And the label, Jamie. They took it all away from me.”

Lance sat up so he could look Keith in the eyes. “You don’t have to keep going.”

Keith rubbed at his eyes. “Once I start talking, its kinda like, word vomit. I can’t stop.”

“Word vomit?” Lance smirked and pulled Keith’s hands away from his face.

Keith shook his head and grinned weakly. “Yeah, word vomit.”

“Mhm.” Before Lance could stop it he leaned forward and softly kissed Keith. He just hated the look in his eyes, the despair on his face. Keith kissed him back, but not as earnestly as the other day. “Sorry.” Lance didn’t know why he was apologizing.

“No. I needed that.” Keith squeezed his hand and dropped his face into Lance’s shoulder. “The worst part about all of this… is that Rolo, Ben. Shiro, my brother, they all got stuck with Jamie. And I know they love the band just as much as I do,”

“But it’s not the same without you.” Lance carefully leaned his head against Keith’s. “I know the band took a dive after you left. That much should’ve been obvious. You were the bands biggest personality, whether other people liked it or not.”

“Yeah, yeah I guess.”

“Can I make a confession?”

“Are you declaring your love for me?” Keith asked sarcastically. Lance felt Keith’s laugh vibrate through his neck.

“No. Unfortunately. Still too early for that, wouldn’t you say?”

Keith laughed again. It sounded warm. “Never say never.”

“Anyways, I um, high key stalked you on Instagram.”

Keith moved his head so he could look up at Lance. “Really?”

“Yes really.” Lance blushed, “Usually I’m not into the type of music Edge plays, but I stumbled across this video of you on Instagram once. And I just couldn’t believe you were real. You seemed like this ethereal thing. Like nothing could touch you.” Lance laughed, “I had to have watched that video 100 times. Then I just dug deeper and found even more videos. Interviews on Youtube, shit like that.”

“I think that’s part of the reason I didn’t recognize you at first. You’re different in person.”

Keith’s head came up off Lance’s shoulder. His expression was dark again. Lance felt his eyes go wide. “Its not bad though.” He carefully touched Keith’s cheek, “You’re real and solid. You have a dimple. Your hair curls more. Your tattoos are a part of you, not just something floating on your skin.” Lance moved his hand and groaned. “God I sound like a dick. I’m sorry.”

“What do you mean?”

Lance grimaced, “About which part?”

“Just, the whole thing.”

Sucking in a breath Lance tried again. “When you perform you put every single fiber of your being into what is happening. You become amplified. Magical. And I see the same thing now. Just in a different way. Because I can reach out and touch you. You _are_ real, not just a being I watch through a screen.”

“I don’t think you’re making this any better.” Keith’s voice had just the slightest hint of teasing in it. He smiled. “And I do understand what you mean. K is someone is completely different.”

“You aren’t separate people. Keith, and K, he’s sitting right in front of me.”

Keith bit out a laugh. “This conversation hasn’t made any sense.”

“Mhm.” Lance laughed along with him, a dazed expression on his face. “I suck at this.”

“Only a little bit.” Keith took Lance’s hand and his brow furrowed. “But uh, being forced to leave the band wasn’t the worst part.” He didn’t look at Lance anymore. “Jamie he- he uh, assaulted me. The same day.”

Lance felt his mouth drop open. He pulled Keith into a tight hug, “Jesus, Keith.” Keith’s arms wrapped around Lance’s back and gripped at Lance’s shirt. “Keith… fucking Christ.” Lance didn’t have to see Keith’s face to know that he was crying. He didn’t know what to do in this situation, so he just held Keith even tighter.

They sat like that for a long time, Keith crying and Lance rocking him back and forth gently. Keith finally pulled back a bit and wiped his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“Why in hell are you apologizing to me?” Lance grabbed Keith’s face and waited until Keith looked at him. “It wasn’t your fault. Ok? Don’t think for a _second_ that it was.”

Keith inhaled sharply and nodded. “He said he’d been in love with me for years. That I was too stupid to see it.”

“Hey. What did I just say?” Lance touched his forehead to Keith’s, “You were the victim in that situation. You didn’t lead him on, you didn’t do anything wrong. He was the one that hurt you.” Lance hissed, “And I want to shove my fist down his throat for it.”

This made Keith laugh a bit, though he still sounded sad. “Going to go all white knight on me?”

“Of course.”

Keith pulled away and looked at Lance for a bit. His hand came up to Lance’s cheek. It was colder than he expected. Ink forming some pattern wrapped up Keith’s hand to his fingers. Lance wanted to memorize every _single_ detail about Keith and his tattoos. There was hardly any blank space left on his arms. And Lance knew from videos and other pictures and his legs and hips were covered as well. Lance found his eyes drifting down Keith’s arm and to his neck. His fingers reached out and gently touched the side of his neck.

“When did you get this?” Lance’s voice was softer than he thought it’d be. He watched Keith’s Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed nervously.

“When I was 20.”

Lance’s fingers continued to move slowly around Keith’s neck. “Weren’t you scared?”

“Not that I remember.” Keith’s voice was just a whisper now. His eyes stared daggers into Lance’s face.

“Did it hurt?” Lance’s eyes flew up to Keith’s. The tension in the room was palpable.

“I don’t-“ Keith inhaled sharply when Lance dove forward and kissed his neck, “remember.”

Just as suddenly as Lance’s lips started to devour Keith’s skin they disappeared. Keith gasped at the loss of contact. “Why’d you stop?” He was already breathless- it was embarrassing.

Lance was looking at him, completely serious. “This is ok?”

“Of course its ok.”

“Keith.” Lance touched his cheek, “Tell me if you want me to stop. If anything makes you uncomfortable. Ok? I want you to be able to trust me.”

“I promise, now are you going to kiss me or no-“ Keith’s voice cut out when Lance kissed him. His lips were soft but persistent. Lance titled his head and moved ever closer to Keith. A small noise sounded in the back of Keith’s throat. Lance smirked against his mouth.

Then his lips returned to Keith’s neck, following the pattern of the tattoo. “Hm. Lance…”

“What?” He mumbled against Keith’s neck.

“Just… feels good.”

Lance leaned back, “Good. That’s good. Can I um, take off your shirt?” Keith started pulling it off before Lance finished the sentence. He watched it come off, as it reveled more and more of Keith’s skin. Intricate patterns mixed in with milky white skin. He was absolutely breathtaking.

“A lot of hours went into this skin, huh?”

Keith grinned softly. “Mhm.” Another sharp inhale as Lance’s lips traveled over his skin, “I’ve had tattoo artists across the world- ah _fuck_ – I uh, I can’t remember- what I was saying.”

“Something about tattoo artists?” Lance brought his head up by Keith’s only to have him drag Lance’s mouth to his. _“Yeah, yeah ok. Fuck talking. Why talk when we could be doing this?”_ So Lance kept kissing Keith. Over and over, all while his hands roamed Keith’s ridges and edges. He was so soft, so lovely, it was like a drug. He pushed Keith up against his headboard, desperate for more.

A small noise came from the back of Keith’s throat. Their lips finally fell apart and they gasped, regrouping. Lance laughed, “I feel like a middle schooler.”

Keith was panting, his eyes heavy lidded and lips red and bitten. “Doesn’t say much for your experience then.” He started to slowly unbutton Lance’s flannel shirt. Button by button Lance felt his heart rate double. Lance sat up a bit, Keith followed, dragging the shirt from Lance’s shoulders. He hummed appreciatively. “You never told me,” He dragged his hands over Lance’s chest.

“Told you what?” Lance’s voice was curious.

“That you’re gay.”

Lance paused. He sucked in a breath and didn’t mean to. He knew his expression darkened before he could stop it. Keith sat up, “Oh.”

“No, no, no.” Lance rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m bi. That uh, its kinda a weird thing for me.”

Keith’s expression changed from concerned to sympathetic. “I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

Lance smiled. “You didn’t. But, it’s a story for another day.” He nuzzled his face back into Keith’s neck. Into the comfort, the stability. Winding his fingers into Keith’s shoulder length hair he pulled them both gently down onto the bed.

Keith was breathless again, Lance felt hot. How was it possible that one person could have this much power over him? “Lance, are you sure you don’t want to talk about it… _shit._ ” Keith hissed when Lance palmed him through his jeans.

“Maybe another time?” Lance asked as he dragged his lips down Keith’s chest.

“Yeah, yeah, another ti-“

Keith never did finish his sentence.

***

*Trigger Warning. Some homophonic language*

_Lance was 19. 19 and in college and absolutely terrified. It was Thanksgiving and he was going to tell his parents about his change in major. And that he was bisexual. And that he was currently dating a man. He was sitting in the airport leg bouncing and sweating._

_“Babe. Hey. Look at me.” Damien touched Lance’s knee. “Please look at me?”_

_Lance’s worried eyes met Damien’s dark brown. “I shouldn’t be doing this. We can just go to your house for Thanksgiving right? It probably wouldn’t cost that much to change our flight.” He started to stand but Damien grabbed his hand._

_“We spent last Thanksgiving, Easter, and Spring Break at my place. I know how desperate your parents are to see you.”_

_Sitting down heavily Lance hitched in a quick breath. “Because, because your family is incredible. And they are ok with me being bi.”_

_Damien touched Lance’s cheek. “Hey. I promise it’s going to be ok. Your parents adore you. You’re their baby boy. Their Lance. I’ve been around for some Skype calls. They think you hold the sun in their hands.”_

_“That’s their public face. You don’t know how conservative they really are. When I was in high school they pulled me from Book Club because we were doing and LGBTQIA+ month.” Lance rubbed his fists into his eyes, “They said it was unholy.”_

_Instead of saying more Damien pulled Lance into a tight hug._

_Delta Flight 306- Departing In Five Minutes_

_He pulled away, “That’s our flight babe. We better get in line.”_

_Lance nodded and nodded. “I feel like I’m going to puke. Or shit my pants.” An elderly woman walking by glanced at him, looking horrified. Lance clapped a hand over his mouth and giggled, a little sporadically. “I forgot we are in public.”_

_Damien laughed out loud. “See, this is why I love you, idiot.” He stood and offered Lance a hand, “Now lets get you home.”_

Somewhere in California

_“Lance! My boy! You finally came home to me!” Lance’s mother was yelling in his ear. He was struggling to breathe as his mother held him in a bear hug. “You’ve been gone so long! How is a mother supposed to survive? Rachel and Marco, they come home all the time!”_

_“Because they still live in California Ma.” Lance managed to get out._

_“Still live in California! You still live in California too!” She finally put Lance down and he sucked in a gulp of air. He was taller than his mom, but she was defiantly stronger than he was. He hugged her tightly and kissed the top of her head. The rest of the family was steadily streaming out of the house now, Lance’s nerves escalated. As far as everyone in his family knew Damien was his “friend” from school. He was spending Thanksgiving with the McClain’s because his family was going skiing, and he didn’t do well in high altitudes. A bullshit excuse for a bullshit lie. “You don’t live in that Boston town. California is your home.” His mother’s voice pulled him back from his musings._

_“I know Ma. I know. But I’m trying to get an education.” Lance turned from his mother and motioned Damien to come forward. “Ma, this my friend I was telling you about. Damien Blackburd.”_

_Damien walked forward carefully, setting down his bags. He made split second eye contact with Lance before smiling warmly and shaking Lance’s mothers hand. “Nice to meet you Mrs. McClain.” You would have to know Damien to know how nervous he was. It was a little enduring, but it also made Lance want to puke. Damien had been his rock through this process, but now he was scared as well._

_“Nice to meet you too, young man. I’m glad you finally convinced our wayward son to come home.”_

_Soon Lance and Damien were swarmed by the rest of the McClain’s. Lance’s siblings, cousins, their husbands and wives, grandmas and grandpas, uncles, aunts. It all started to melt together in Lance’s head as that dull buzz came over his ears. His hands started to shake ever so slightly. He desperately searched out Damien and met his eyes. Damien knew what was coming. An anxiety attack. They were frequent and aggressive, and Lance’s family had no idea about them. Or the depression. Lance kept a brave face. He was a McClain after all._

_Damien excused himself from the conversation he was having with Marco. He quickly moved to Lance’s side and touched it ever so lightly. “Well, Lance and I are exhausted from midterms and the flight, he can show me to where I’m staying and we can get some rest.”_

_“Of yes! Of course, of course.” Lance’s mother barged into the scene, full of misplaced good will. “Follow me boys!”_

_Lance bit the inside of his cheek hard enough that he tasted blood._ “Hold out a bit longer Lance. Just a bit longer. You can do this.”

_“Unfortunately Damien I had more people come to stay than I thought! We have three guest rooms of course, but the families that came and couldn’t get hotels are sharing those rooms! I have people coming out of my ears, I swear!” She bustled into the house and Lance followed behind as quickly as he dared, “So Damien, you’ll be sharing Lance’s room with him. It was either this or the couch! And I couldn’t have a guest sleeping on the couch!”_

_“Mom. I can show Damien to my room.”_

_She turned back to Lance, the slightest glint of anger before she smiled. “Of course. We’ll let you two rest until dinner tonight.” She clasped Damien’s hands in her own again, “We are so glad we are able to give you a place to stay for this holiday. You will always be welcome here.”_

_“Glad to know Mrs. McClain.”_

_Lance turned and started to make his way up the stairs. His room was in the attic of the house. It was small, but private. It gave him the space he needed when he was growing up. And now it would keep him and Damien away from the rest of the family. He heard his boyfriend following up the main flight of stairs. Then down a hallway and up another, more narrow, staircase. Lance opened the door to his room and waited for Damien to get inside, and then he closed and locked the door._

_He dropped his bags and slid down the door and felt that buzz come back in full force. Damien’s arms pulled Lance away from the door and onto his bed. Lance was sure Damien was whispering to him, but he couldn’t hear it. But slowly, ever so slowly his breathing evened out and the buzz slowly started to leave his ears. He gasped lightly. “I’m sorry.”_

_“Don’t be sorry babe. It doesn’t control you. You are better than this. You just got overwhelmed is all.” Damien snorted. “You were right, your mom is overwhelming.”_

_Lance pushed back and smiled slightly. “Thank you. For being here.” Damien smiled back at him. “And don’t let me chicken out tonight, ok? I have to tell them before Thanksgiving. They will hate me regardless but at least I won’t ruin the holiday.”_

_“You aren’t going to ruin anything. Just give them time to adjust.”_

_Lance nodded. “But don’t unpack your bags. Just in case.”_

_Damien wiggled his brows. “I see there is only one bed up here…”_

_“Don’t get any ideas big boy.” Lance climbed into Damien’s lap. Their kissing was gentle and familiar. It was something Lance needed after all the chaos of today. The chaos of his own mind. Damien helped him come out to all his friends in Boston. He was there for Lance when he decided to change his major. Lance finally pulled away and rested his forehead against Damien’s, “What was it like, coming out to your family?”_

_He pulled away and brushed some hair off Lance’s forehead. “Well you know it was just me and my mom. And my grandma. And my grandma was a flower child back during the Vietnam War. So she and my mom grew up with pretty relaxed ideals. They were pretty excited when I told them I was pan.” Damien smirked, “My mom said it was great. That I had more love to give to everybody.”_

_“Mhm.” Lance stared over his head and at the family picture on his nightstand. What would it be like, to be out and proud? To be proud of his major? One of his articles was already published in_ Rolling Stone. _And he was only 19. But what would it be like to loose his family? Over something as simple as his sexuality?_

_“What’re you thinking about babe?”_

_Lance shook his head. “I’m just nervous.”_

_Damien put his hand on Lance’s face. “I can’t promise you that it will be ok. But I love you and I want you to know I’m always going to be here for you.”_

_“Wait, wait.” Lance leaned back and stared at his boyfriend, he felt a little breathless. “Did you just drop the L bomb?”_

_“The L bomb?”_

_“You said you loved me.” Lance’s voice was soft. He felt new. It was strange._

_Damien’s eyes grew serious. “I did. I love you Lance.” Then those beautiful brown eyes were smiling._

_“I uh- I…” Lance was pissed. Why was he stuttering? Was he crying too? Jesus. You’d think he was some 15 year old confusing his love to his crush behind the bleachers at school. His throat stopped up. Damien was looking at him the same way, so he couldn’t be mad right? Right?_

_“You don’t have to say anything.” Damien was still smiling. It was ripping Lance’s heart to bits._

_Lance shook his head. Swallowed a few times. “But I want to. I love you too. Holy shit Damien.”_

_Damien smiled again, wider this time. “You sure about that lover boy?”_

_“Of course I am.” Then Damien was kissing him and for a moment Lance forgot that tonight he was coming out to his family. That he was telling them he didn’t want to be a lawyer, but a writer. That he was going to try and follow his dreams, no matter what they say or do._

_***_

_“I am glad we finally got to meet this Damien child our son kept talking about.” Lance’s dad was saying. They had just finished supper; Lance hadn’t been able to eat anything. Damien had taken all the questions like a champ though. Powered through his parents and aunts and uncles telling him being a novelist wasn’t worth his time. That he should try and pursue something that will make his parents proud of him._

_Even though Damien told everyone multiple times that he only had one parent, his mom._

_Lance didn’t hate his parents or his family or anything; He just wished they were more understanding. They tended to stay stuck in their old ways. Marco was studying to be a lawyer as well. He should be graduating law school very soon. Rachel had been the family disappointment for a long time, but at least she was straight. Lance knew as soon as he came out 90% of his family would shun him._

_Lance’s dad lit a cigar and he knew this was his chance. If he didn’t speak up now he never would. It looked like the family was about to leave the table and Damien very so gently nudged Lance’s knee. He inhaled deeply. “Ma? Dad? Um, everyone? I have something I wanted to tell everyone.” His voice weakened the longer he talked._

_“Oh! Lance has an announcement!” Lance’s mother cooed. She pushed people back down into their chairs and put the last dishes in the sink in the kitchen. Sitting back down across from Lance she waved some cigar smoke away from her face. “Alright baby what did you want to tell everyone?”_

_For a long moment Lance just stared at his mother. What was she expecting? That Lance got accepted into law school early? That he had a secret girlfriend back in Boston? That they were married and they had a baby on the way? “Lance? Dear?” His mother prodded._

_“Yeah, yeah yes I….” Damien took Lance’s hand under the table and squeezed it tightly. “I have a couple of things that I wanted to say.” He took a deep breath. “I’m not going to law school.”_

_It became so quiet in the room you could’ve heard a pin drop. His father glared at him. “What do you mean you aren’t going to law school?”_

_“Are you thinking of going into the medical field?” One of his aunts asked._

_Lance was already shrinking under his fathers gaze. “No, no. I’m not going to law school. I’m majoring in Music Journalism.” It was silent again. Damien turned to Lance and just looked at him. Letting him know that he was there. “I’m really good. I uh, I took a bunch of journalism classes and I love it. Some of my articles have been published on online blogs. And one even got published in_ Rolling Stone. _I-“ Lance stopped the string of words from coming from his mouth._

_No one was talking but him. They were all just staring. The flame on his father’s cigar was going out. “Ma? Dad?”_

_Lance’s mother just shook her head. His father said nothing. “I know you want me to be a lawyer. Its what you’ve wanted for me and Marco since we were kids but… I can’t do it. I can’t force myself into a career I hate.”_

_“You aren’t forcing yourself into anything. You_ are _going to law school. And that is final.” His father’s voice was firm and terribly serious. Not angry yet though._

_“Dad. Please. Just listen to me.”_

_“Wasn’t there something else you wanted to tell us?” Lance’s mother put her hand on her husbands shoulder. She blinked wide-eyed at him, telling him he was already fucking up enough, so hopefully he had good news._

_Lance swallowed and felt tears in his eyes. He met eyes with Damien and started shaking his head. “I can’t…” He whispered._

_“You can.”_

_Lance’s family was already staring at him. At_ them. _For his parents this was devastating news but for his extended family it was all part of the show. Who’s idea had it been to come out to his_ entire _family again? Why did he have to choose a holiday?_

_“I’m not straight.” He said it to the tablecloth._

_Someone inhaled. Another person bit out a short laugh. Lance felt the tears fall._

_“What?”_

_That sounded like Marco’s voice. “I’m not straight.” He said it again. He felt one of Damien’s arms slip around his waist._

_“No son of mine is gay.” Ah. There was his father’s voice._

_Lance’s eyes flew up to his parents. “I’m not gay. I’m bi. Bisexual.”_

_His mother wasn’t even saying anything. Just staring at him with a look he couldn’t quite decipher. His father looked incredibly angry. Like he could shoot lasers out of his eyes. He couldn’t look at anyone else. His parent’s rejection was already too much. “It means that I like both. Girls and boys.”_

_“What, you can’t choose just one?” His father’s tone was mocking._

_Lance felt his brows come together. “That’s, that’s not it at all dad.”_

_“Probably can’t get any girls. So you’re running around chasing men.”_

_Ok. That one hurt. Hurt more than Lance thought was capable. “Dad, please.”_

_“You and Damien are dating!” One of his little cousins piped up from the kid’s table in the corner._

_Lance just closed his eyes. Damien’s grip around his waist tightened. “Is this true? Are you and Damien, together?” His mother sounded horrified. What else was he supposed to do, say, “I was just kidding!” and move on? So he just nodded. He didn’t open his eyes, he couldn’t. He didn’t want to see the horrified looks on his parents face._

_“I need you both to leave.” Lance’s father stood up and pushed his chair in so hard it shook the table. “Get out of this house. I will not tolerate any of this bullshit from you Lance.”_

_“This isn’t bullshit to me dad. This is who I am-“ He was going to go on but his father planted one hand on the table and the other hand reached out and slapped Lance across the face. He blinked a few times. Damien had leapt out of his chair and stood staring at his Lance’s father._

_“Who do you think you are boy? What are you doing to my son?” He was yelling now. Yelling at Damien._

_One thought kept racing through Lance’s mind._ “He could hurt Damien.” _So he slowly stood up and grabbed Damien’s hand. “Dad. We’re going.” He didn’t say anything more. Just pulled Damien through the dining room doorway. There was shouting now, but Lance couldn’t make out the voices. He kept dragging Damien up the stairs until they were in his room. He slammed and locked the door and immediately started to hyperventilate._

_“Hey, hey. Babe. Look at me. Please.” Damien grabbed Lance’s face and tapped gently at his cheeks. “Please. Lance I need you to look at me.”_

_Lance finally managed to look at Damien. He was crying too. “Hey. Hi.” Damien managed a small smile, and then he pulled Lance tightly into his arms. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry love.”_

_“I knew this was going to happen.” Lance managed between wheezes. Deep sobs ripped out of Lance’s throat. “But I didn’t- I didn’t think he’d hit me.” He gripped Damien’s shirt so tightly in his hands he heard threads pop. “I need to go.” He stood up and blindly started grabbing for his suitcase._

_“Lance, maybe if you talk to them…”_

_“They won’t listen! I can’t! They could hurt you too!” Lance inhaled sharply, “I can’t let you get hurt because of me.” He finished in a whisper._

_Damien looked at him for a long minute. “Ok. Ok. Ok, lets go.”_

_They gathered their things and Lance unlocked the door and started to make his way downstairs. People tried to stop him to talk to him but he kept moving. He had to get out of this house. Damien was right on his heels. Lance didn’t look in any of the rooms on the first floor. He was afraid of what he might see. Until finally he saw his mother and father standing by the front door. He stopped so suddenly Damien ran into the back of him._

_Lance looked at his parents and felt the last shred of hope in him die. They were looking at him as if he were made of scum. Something less than them. It ripped his hearts to bits. “Are you going to glare at me all day or are you going to let me leave?” Lance asked._

_His mother started to cry. “Lance, surely you are just confused! You just need to come home. Get away from Boston!”_

_Lance grit his teeth. “I am_ not _leaving Boston. And I am_ not _staying here until you accept me for who I am. And what I want and what I believe in.”_

_“Please, Lance, baby…” His mother reached out to him but he flinched away. His mother shook her head and bustled off to a different part of the house. His father just opened the front door. Lance broke down and cried harder but he pushed past his father and out the door._

***

Lance had walked out of the door of his childhood home almost six years ago. He hadn’t been back since. He wasn’t “allowed” back. He hadn’t spoken to his father since that night. One time he tried calling his mother, but it hadn’t work out. Rachel and Marco were back in his life, but Lance had no idea if he would ever sit around a McClain family dinner table again.

The man in his bed groaned softly in his sleep. Lance smiled and propped up on one elbow and stroked some hair back from Keith’s forehead. His face was smashed into his pillow and Lance knew he would wake up with creases on his face.

So.

He’d slept with Keith Kogane. Keith Kogane was in his bed. Snoring a bit, maybe even drooling. And Lance was completely entranced. He’d seen so many sides of this man already; he wondered how many more he would get to see.

Keith groaned and shifted again. Then he slowly blinked and yawned. Then it seemed to dawn on him that he wasn’t in his own bed. His eyes flashed open and glanced around, and then he found Lance’s eyes. Lance stared down at him and waited for some sort of reaction. Then Keith smiled. Rubbed his face into his pillow, “Hi.”

“Hi.” Lance responded. He wrapped his arms around Keith and laid his head on Keith’s back. Keith’s breathing evened out again and Lance was sure he was asleep. Then Keith shifted around until he was facing Lance.

“Hi.” He said again.  


Lance propped up on one elbow again. Softly kissed Keith’s nose. “Good morning.” Then he leaned his forehead against Keith’s. It was lovely, just sitting there, breathing in Keith’s smell.

“I think I was supposed to have opened the store by now.” Keith mumbled sleepily.

“Hm.” Lance nuzzled his face into Keith’s neck. Apparently it was one of Lance’s favorite spots. “Take a sick day.”

Keith laughed and Lance felt it in his chest. “But I’m not sick.”

Lance tightened his grip around Keith’s waist. “Don’t leave?” Keith hummed lightly.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

They lay there in silence for a long time. The sun rose higher in the sky, coming through the skylight above Lance’s bed. They shifted positions again until they lay nose to nose. Keith’s eyelashes were so long that when he blinked Lance felt it on his cheeks. Eventually Keith started to hum, tracing a pattern over and over again on Lance’s back. “Do you want breakfast?” Lance asked, his voice a low rumble.

“Maybe some coffee?”

Lance sat up and stretched, groaning as a few joints popped. Keith laughed lightly, “You sound like an old man.”

“Well,” He turned and quirked a brow, “You did work me over last night.” Lance smiled at the blush that spread across Keith’s face.

“Sorry.” He grimaced.

“Hey.” Lance lightly tapped Keith’s nose, “I didn’t say that I didn’t like it.” With that he climbed out of bed, pulled on some boxers and climbed down the ladder from his loft. He heard Keith shuffling around finding some clothes too. Lance bustled around in his kitchen, getting some coffee ready. He was at the stove when he felt Keith wrap his arms around him. Keith was shorter than him by a couple inches, so his forehead hit just at the top of Lance’s spine. It was a comforting feeling. Feeling Keith’s breath on his bare back felt like… home. Lance had never bonded so quickly with a person before. It was so beautiful, but absolutely terrifying at the same time. The thought of losing Keith already made Lance’s stomach curl. And not in a good way. But there was no way Keith felt the same way. Lance was just a quick role in the hay.

That’s what he had been since Damien. No one had ever given him a second thought. He fell too fast and loved too hard. Even Damien had felt that way. Lance supposed the burden of being the only person he had in the world was too much for Damien to handle. He’d broken up with Lance five months after he came out. Lance got used to spending every day, not just holidays alone.

“What’re you thinking about?” Keith asked, resting his chin on Lance’s shoulder.

“Hm. Just what creamer to use in this coffee.”

“Well you are the expert.” Keith moved so he was leaning back against the counter, arms crossed over his chest. He knew something was up with Lance, but he wasn’t going to bring it up. He was afraid Lance might shut him out again. But he reached out and carefully touched Lance’s arm. “You can talk to me. You can trust me.” He paused again, “I unloaded enough on you last night.”

Lance put down the mugs he was holding. Keith was too gentle. Too kind. Lance grabbed at Keith’s wrist. “Don’t make it sound like it was a burden. Because it wasn’t. And it won’t be.” He took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. “I just… don’t talk. About stuff.”

“And you don’t have to talk to me.” Keith looked at the floor, “Just because we fucked doesn’t mean you have to unload your life story on me.”

Taking a deep breath Lance pinned Keith against the counter, “Just because we _are fucking.”_ Keith’s eyes widened and Lance took back his words. _“Shouldn’t have said that you absolute dumbass.”_

But then Keith smiled, pulled Lance in for a long, hard, kiss. “So this is going to be a continuing thing?” He said against Lance’s mouth.

“If you would be so kind.” Lance responded. Then he went back to kissing Keith. When was kissing Keith, drinking him in like this… all his other problems seemed to fade away. Keith already had that much power over him. All too soon the water for the coffee was ready and Lance reluctantly pulled away from Keith’s mouth. “Let me make your coffee.”

Keith allowed Lance to pull away from him, watching the muscles in his back work and move. Then his eyes continued to move around the studio apartment. Now that Keith was actually looking around he noticed a lack of personality. It was tidy and well decorated, but it seemed to lack a little soul. It looked more like a magazine shoot than someone’s home. There were a couple pictures of Lance and Rachel. The two of them on bike rides, at a beach somewhere.

There was a picture near Lance’s desk that made Keith’s heart swell. It was Lance, a kid half on his lap, half on his couch. He was also holding a baby in his arms. Lance noticed Keith staring at the picture and smiled. “That was at Christmas last year. At Rachel’s place.” He went and took the picture off the wall and placed it in Keith’s hands. “The bigger kid, that’s Diego. He’s gunna turn five soon. The baby, her name is Annie. She was born right before Thanksgiving.” Lance’s smile was warm, but his eyes were sad, “She’s been giving Rachel hell lately.”

Keith met Lance’s. “You just have pictures with Rachel.” He handed the picture back to Lance.

He moved slowly back over to the wall where he gently hung the picture back up. “Yeah. I don’t really… speak to the rest of my family.” Lance stared at the picture for a long moment. “Haven’t really spoken to a lot of them for years now.”

Lance turned back to Keith and smirked at the look on his face. “Its ok. You don’t need to worry about me. I came out to them when I was in college. Needless to say it didn’t go well.”

“I am sorry.” Keith grimaced and tried something else, “I wish it had been easier for you.”

Lance felt his stomach twist. “It happens to a lot of people.” He moved back to the kitchen and finished making the coffee. Handing Keith a cup he found it hard to meet his eyes, “What was it like, coming out to your parents?”

“Ah.” Keith took a sip of coffee and sighed, “My mom died when I was three. I don’t remember her. So it was just me, my dad and Shiro.”

“I’m sorry about your mom.”

Keith shook his head gently, “My dad said she was a great woman. Breast cancer.” He shrugged and looked out the window, “My dad passed a couple years ago. But he was pretty chill about it. He told me as long as I wasn’t doing anything stupid then he would be fine with whoever I brought home.” He laughed, “Shiro married Adam when I was still in high school. So I guess Shiro broke it in for him.”

So Keith was an orphan. It twisted something in Lance’s heart. He couldn’t imagine what it would have been like, growing up without his mom. She had been his rock up until he came out. God, up until this moment he hadn’t realized how much he missed her. It was easier to shut it out, to think less about the pain. If he ignored it then it didn’t exist. Keith touched Lance’s cheek. “I didn’t mean to make you sad.”

“Hm. You didn’t. Not really.” He took a deep sip of his coffee, “Just wishing we grew up in different worlds is all.”

“But if we had then we wouldn’t have met, right?” Keith’s face was gentle.

Lance knew his smile was radiant. “Yeah, yeah you’re right.” He sat down on his couch and waited for Keith to join him. Keith sat on the opposite end and rested his feet in Lance’s lap. Just like he had last night he traced his fingers over Keith’s tattoos. “If I tell you my sob story do you promise not to feel sorry for me?”

Keith nodded and rested his head against the back of the couch. Lance took a deep breath and stared into his coffee mug. “I was 19. It took me years to figure out I was bi. And even then I didn’t want to admit it to anyone. Because I was positive my family wouldn’t approve. But then I met Damien at some stupid writing workshop.” He blinked a few times, “He opened my eyes. Made me see a lot about myself and who I was. What I could be.”

“He was also my first love.” Lance rolled his eyes and glared into the distance, “He was with me when I came out. Saw the whole shit show. After my family cut me out my life was a mess. They refused to pay for school unless I was going to go to law school. So I spent a lot of sleepless nights applying for scholarships and loans. Worked two jobs on top of the 20 credit hours I took every semester.”

“Damien was there… in the beginning. He was great actually. Made sure I was eating and held me through all the panic and anxiety attacks. But in the end it got to be too much for him. I know he loved me, but he was 19 too. It was too much to ask of him to take care of another person when he was still growing up too. We broke up five months after I came out.” Keith moved from the end of the couch to Lance’s side. He laid his head in Lance’s lap. Lance hadn’t realized he was shaking until Keith touched his hand, then grabbed it and held it tightly.

“I wish I could say it got easier after that, but it didn’t. Damien was all I had left. I don’t know what force it was that kept me going, probably spite honestly. At that point I was already majoring in Music Journalism, and my articles were getting published in _Rolling Stone_ and I had an online blog that was getting pretty popular. And my senior year, right before I graduated I was offered a position at _Breath._ ”

Lance took a deep breath and squeezed Keith’s hand. “And it all seemed to get better. But Damien was the last serious relationship I ever had.” He smirked grimly, “I’ve had flings. But I am terrified to get too close to someone.” He felt a tear drift down his cheek, “I fall hard and fast. And it all ends in flames.”

Keith sat up and laid his head on Lance’s shoulder. He’d been silent through Lance’s speech and while it was comforting, it was also terrifying. If Lance’s tragic life story hadn’t been enough to turn Keith off, this would be. His hand was shaking so intensely he was scared he was going to spill his coffee. “And I’m already too attached to you. And it scares me.”

Lance’s heart was beating so hard and loud he was worried that Keith would hear it. “I hardly know you, but I’m already scared to lose you.” He swallowed thickly. Keith still hadn’t said anything. But his head was still resting on Lance’s shoulder. “Keith if you could just say something right now to get me to shut up- if you’re mad just say anything, leave I can’t-“

The transition from Lance babbling to Keith kissing him seemed to go in slow motion. The first second Lance was shaking and crying and wishing he had never said anything about his past. The next second Keith was pulling both their coffee mugs away, setting them down roughly and climbing into Lance’s lap. Then Keith was kissing Lance, rough and possessive.

God. Shit, Keith was going to destroy him.

_Keith_

Keith felt Lance’s tears on his face but he just kissed him harder. The pain and fear in Lance’s voice had scared him. And Keith wasn’t good with words. He wished he more eloquent, gentler. But physical actions meant more to Keith than words. And he felt like Lance would understand this about him.

And Lance was gasping into Keith’s mouth. His hands gripped Keith’s hips desperately. Keith pulled back and looked into Lance’s eyes. “You- you don’t have to worry.” His was panting and out of breathe. “Don’t be scared. You never have to get scared with me.”

Fresh tears spilled out of Lance’s eyes and Keith kissed them away. “I know we hardly know each other… but you, I need you…” Keith knew he wasn’t making any sense, but he was trying. So he went back to the physical. He kissed Lance’s neck, bit at his earlobe, ran his hands down Lance’s beautiful chest. If he was being honest Lance’s words did scare him a little, but only because he had never had anyone serious.

When he came out as gay it went over well, but no one had ever made his heart pound. No one ever made him want to leave everything behind and follow them into the sunset. Of course he had been with other people, gotten and given a lot.

But this… Lance… it was changing everything Keith had ever thought before. He always thought that he would need months or years to feel so deeply for a person. But he had only known Lance for a couple weeks but this man had already changed his life. It was thrilling but absolutely terrifying.

Thinking about the future was more than a little weird. He had only lived in this town for a month, and he had only known Lance for about that long. But here he was, kissing Lance desperately and wishing it would never end. And Lance was still crying, and still shaking. Keith pulled away and looked at his face. “Lance. Hey. Look at me.”

Those beautiful blue eyes looked up at him. He looked so scared, so vulnerable. He was holding his breathe. “I’m not going to leave. I’m here, ok?”

“You’re scaring me.”

“Hm. You’re scaring me too.” He moved his hips against Lance’s and watched as his eyes fluttered closed. Lance’s skin was starting to heat up and Keith felt his heart rate increase. “Hey, come here.” He gently pushed Lance down on the couch and stayed on top of him. Keith moved his lips down Lance’s neck and his chest and held Lance’s hands in his own.

“Keith…” Lance’s breathing was becoming increasingly uneven and it was doing something to Keith’s head. Soon the only thing he was aware of was Lance’s hitches in breathe, the quiet sounds in the back of his throat, and the twitches of his body as the pleasure grew. It was driving Keith insane.

Keith bit at Lance’s collarbone and he made a noise that sounded like he was in pain. “You ok?” He mumbled into Lance’s skin.

“More- more than ok.”

Sitting up a bit Keith quirked a brow, “Wanna feel even better?”

The look on Lance’s face would’ve brought Keith to his knees if had been standing. He moved his hips and Lance hissed and gritted his teeth.

And it was a long time before Keith was done with him.

***

“I’ll see you soon?” Lance asked. He had walked Keith back home; it was a lot later in the day.

Keith leaned in and kissed Lance deeply. When he pulled away he only separated at the lips. He left his forehead pressed into Lance’s. It was so comforting, so the thought of being away from Lance for even a night seemed unbearable. “You could just stay here.” Keith smiled, more serious than he wanted to be.

Lance laughed and it warmed Keith’s heart. Then Lance grew serious, “But maybe some time away… maybe it would do some good.”

Leaning away from Lance’s face Keith looked at him seriously. “I already told you, I’m not going anywhere.” He poked at Lance’s shoulder teasingly, “We are in this for the long run.”

There was the slightest bit of fear in Lance’s eyes but he did smile. And it was radiant. “I still don’t know exactly what’s happening here, but… I’m glad I slept with you Keith Kogane.”

Keith felt a laugh bubble out of his throat. “And I’m glad I’m _sleeping_ with you, Lance McClain.”

Lance smiled warmly and kissed Keith again. Then very reluctantly he moved away, pushing his bike a few feet away before rushing back for another long, hard kiss. Keith chuckled again, kissed Lance on the cheek; the nose and finally Lance walked away, then climbed on his bike and rode down the street.

Keith slowly backed up until he felt the front door of his shop against his back. He watched until Lance disappeared in the distance. His heart was pounding in his chest and he knew he had to be blushing. Had the last 24 hours even happened? It felt like Keith’s entire world had been flipped upside down.

“Keith?”

He heard a voice down the street. His head whipped to the right and Keith felt his heart stop. “Shiro?” He whispered. Shiro was standing just down the street, Adam just behind him. They both looked like the might be crying. “Shiro?” He asked again. He hadn’t seen his big brother in almost five months. They had just started to talk again, and suddenly here he was. “How’d you find me?”

Shiro just shook his head. Adam gently touched his shoulder, “Snapchat maps.” He said quietly.

Keith snorted and laughed, surprised. Oh the glory of modern technology. Adam pushed Shiro forward carefully. “I’m sorry for showing up without saying anything first but… I needed to see you Keith. To make sure you were ok.”

The past couple of months flashed through Keith’s brain. The last time he saw Shiro in person they were at a police station, trying to fill out a report against Jamie. The report hadn’t been taken seriously. Days before that Keith’s negotiations to try to get the band back from Jamie had also failed. Keith’s life was crumbling and he couldn’t stop it. Shiro was trying to help, but there wasn’t anything he could do. He was bound by a contract to Edge, he was stuck.

Before Keith had disappeared off the face of the planet he and Shiro fought horribly. He wasn’t sure how he would be able to face his brother again. But here he was, just down the street. Keith felt tears in his eyes and felt his feet carrying him down the street. He plowed into Shiro’s arms and threw his arms around his neck.

He knew he surprised Shiro because it took a second before he was fully enveloped in his brother’s embrace. One arm went around Keith’s back and the other threaded in his hair. “Hey baby brother.” He said thickly.

  
“Hey, big brother.” He let Shiro go and laughed through his tears. Turning to Adam he pulled him into a tight hug as well. “I missed you guys.” He said softly.

“We did too.” Adam wrapped an arm around Shiro’s waist.

Keith saw the glint of Adam’s gold wedding ring and smiled. Adam and Shiro hadn’t been married long, but Keith knew they were happy together. They had a hell of a ride getting here. Keith suddenly remembered they were out in the middle of the street. “Do you guys wanna come up? Do you have a place to stay?”

“We got an Air BnB.” Shiro responded. “But if we could come up and talk for a bit…”

Keith went back to the front door of his building and unlocked it, ushering Shiro and Adam inside. God it was embarrassing, he spent the whole day in other man’s apartment. What a solid business he was running. Shiro walked inside and grinned. “I was wondering where all of dad’s shop went.”

“Sorry I didn’t tell you.”

Shiro just shook his head. “It’s better than its here. Dad wouldn’t have wanted it to sit around and gather dust.”

Keith hesitated for a bit. “I’ve been… open for a few days.”

Adam and Shiro exchanged a look, and then Adam asked, “Who was the guy?”

A blush rushed to Keith’s cheeks. So they saw him sucking face with Lance. Cool. He didn’t know why he was suddenly defensive. He looked at floor. Shiro laughed, “We’re just teasing you Keith. You’re an adult. You can live your own life.” He walked over and touched Keith’s shoulder, “He was pretty though.”

Rolling his eyes Keith slapped Shiro’s hand away. “God, your best talent always was embarrassing me.” The two brothers stared each other down, then Keith smirked. “My apartment is upstairs.”

The three men quietly went up to Keith’s apartment. Keith sensed something was off, he knew his brother too well. There was something that Shiro wasn’t telling him. It was most likely more bad news. Probably that Jamie found a way to take what little money Keith had left.

Keith had tried to stay away from news about Edge of Tomorrow but it was hard to avoid. Keith, or “K” had vanished off the face of the Earth. The fans were upset, rioting more like. Demanding to know where Keith was and why he wasn’t performing with the band anymore. Previously sold out arena shows had to be canceled when thousands of fans didn’t turn up and wanted refunds for tickets.

There were “Find K” pages on the Internet, Rolo, Ben, Shiro and Jamie’s Instagram’s were flooded with messages wanting to know what was going on. Keith also received thousands of messages a day. All of which he ignored. It was too painful for Keith to watch the band he worked so hard to create be destroyed over the course of a few months. He wasn’t sure what Jamie thought would happen when he kicked Keith out of the band, but he was still trying.

  
Tweeted everyday about new songs, a new album. He promised new singles all the remaining fans grew annoyed when those promised singles never arrived. Ben and Rolo stayed as silent as they could, but they were receiving a far amount of backlash as well. Both of them had reached out to Keith on several occasions, and he had let them know he was ok, but it was hard to talk about the situation they were in. They were all tied in it and couldn’t get out.

Keith opened the door to his apartment and once again felt stupid for how sad it looked. He had gotten a couple pictures out, Shiro and Adam at their wedding, Shiro, Keith and their dad, all grinning stupidly at Shiro’s wedding ring. Some pictures of the band, Jamie still in them. Most of the pictures were from Ben’s wedding. He’d married his high school sweet heart, something the other guys never shut up about. Lucy was a sweet girl though. The most supportive out of all the significant others in the bands support group.

But other than those few pictures there weren’t any other decorations. But then again Keith hadn’t thought he would be staying long. Or having people over, ever. But here he was. “Sorry about the lack of… well everything.”

“Again with the apologizing.” Adam rolled his eyes mockingly and smiled at the picture of he and Shrio on their wedding day. He tapped the frame and raised a brow, “At least you got the essentials.”

Keith smiled. This is what he liked about Adam. He was endlessly sarcastic, horribly funny and incredibly loving. He was the best man Keith could’ve asked for his brother.

“I should probably make some coffee, shouldn’t I?” Keith asked.  


“Why would you need to make coffee?” Shiro was nervous.

Adam sat down on the couch; “Keith can always read you like an open book babe.”

Shiro groaned and sat down heavily. “Yeah, yeah. Make some coffee.”

While Keith was busy in the kitchen he heard Adam and Shiro whispering. It was making him nervous. Ridiculously nervous. How much worse could Keith’s life get? He filled three mugs with some of his favorite coffee from Lava Java. Then he moved out to the living room and set the coffee down in front of Shiro and Adam. “I’m going to puke if you don’t tell me what’s going on.”

“Christ Keith.”

Keith pointed a finger in Shiro’s direction. “Hey now. We lived together for 18 years and you’ve been around me my entire life. You should be used to my shit by now.”

Shiro groaned and rubbed at the back of his neck. “I got desensitized over the last couple of months.”

“Yeah. I bet you did.” Keith took a sip of coffee and let it burn his tongue. He was more nervous than ever now.

Adam nudged Shiro and he sighed. “Ok first off, bad news.”

“I figured.”

“The label wants to drop Edge.”

Keith swallowed thickly and looked into his coffee cup. “A couple of months ago Robert said he’d never drop Edge. Said it was too profitable.”

“After Edge lost you it lost 60% of its profits. Almost overnight. Merch sales dropped, record sales dropped, monthly Spotify listeners around lower than I have ever seen them. Edge has lost, well… its edge.” Shiro sounded exhausted. Keith looked up and felt his heart break a bit. He wished that Shiro didn’t have to go through this shit. Edge hadn’t been his dream, but a job. Of course he loved it, but it wasn’t the same kind of love Keith had for it. Shiro helped manage several other bands on the label as well. But having Edge tank like this had to serve a blow to more than just the band. The entire label was suffering now.

“I don’t know what this has to do with me Shiro.”

Shiro sighed again, rubbing his hand over his face. “Robert offered a way to fix it.”

“Fix it?”

“He knows now that he fucked up. That he let Jamie get into his head. Apparently Jamie said he could turn Edge around after you left. That it would be bigger and better than ever. But so far everything Jamie has tried has failed terribly. The fans don’t want anything new without you, Keith.”

Keith clenched his fist around his coffee mug. “I can’t come back.”

A hush fell over the room. Adam sipped his coffee and nudged Shiro. “But we do know that you _want_ to come back.” Adam said simply.

“Of course I do!” Keith’s eyes sliced up to Adam’s. “But are you two _seriously_ asking me to come back and perform and work with Jamie? After everything he did to me? After he _assaulted_ me?”

“Keith- let me finish.” Shiro twirled his wedding ring around his finger. “There won’t be any Jamie. Not anymore.”

Keith’s head recoiled. No Jamie? But how- Edge had always been a four person band. Would they hire someone new? Would Edge rebrand? Rebranding was a death sentence. Even _if_ Keith came back the fans of Edge would stay that, fans of Edge. Jamie’s diehard fans would leave with the rest of them. What in the actual hell was Robert thinking?

“What do you mean, no more Jamie?” Keith’s voice was hesitant.

“Exactly what I said. Robert is going to fire Jamie.”

“Fire Jamie? Just like that?” Keith felt his brow furrow. “But what about Edge?”

Shiro grinned weakly. “Robert wants you to save Edge, baby brother.”

Keith put his mug of coffee down. His brain was swirling. He lost the band, his everything only months ago and now Shiro was telling him that he could get it back? Without any legal battles or screaming matches? “What did Jamie do? Robert isn’t the type to cut lose an investment like that.” Keith knew his voice was bitter, but Jamie had to have done something truly horrible if Robert was going to get rid of him.

“Not only has he lost the label a tremendous amount of money, he,” Shiro paused to rub a hand over his face, “You aren’t the only one that he’s hurt.”

Ah. There it was. Keith felt his eyes fill with tears. “You mean that he assaulted others?”

Adam nodded. “Oh.” Keith’s voice was just a whisper. He thought his heart was done being broken. But here it was, shattering into a million pieces all over again. He had known Jamie for _years._ Jamie was basically like a brother to him… up until a few months ago that is. And he did what he did to Keith to more people? Without anyone knowing? “How did he get caught?” His voice was rough with tears.

“Several people have come forward with claims. Some have texts. But it is enough to sink him.” Shiro sounded exhausted. “And we all… saw what he did to you too.”

Gritting his teeth Keith forced himself not to cry. Then a thought struck him. “Wait. Wait, wait. I’m going to have to testify against him, aren’t I?” Just thinking about sitting in the same room as Jamie, describing what he did to Keith, all while staring him in the eyes, it was horrifying. Keith felt bile crawl up his throat. “There is no way I can be in the same room as him. I don’t care what he did to me. I can’t-“

Shiro got off the couch and sat on the arm of Keith’s car and pulled him into a side hug. “You might have to. If they call you as a witness, you can’t avoid that. And I am so sorry. Trust me, I want to murder the little bastard for what he did to you. Especially after you were gone and he pretended it never happened. But we are going to get him Keith, that I can promise you.”

Keith found that he could nod. Adam smiled softly from the couch. “We are going to do our best to make sure you never have to see him again.”

“So what about the band? Ben and Rolo, what are they going to do?”

“They are going to keep playing.” Shiro’s arm tightened around Keith’s shoulders, “With you. Edge was always yours, Keith. If you are willing, it’ll be you, Rolo and Ben. Edge of Tomorrow will drop from four to three. It has happened to bands in the past.”

“But- Jamie has fans. A lot of them.”

“Yes, losing him will prove a hard blow. But getting you back will be the push the band needs. Much as you hate to admit it Keith, you’ve always been the most popular. And you write all the music for the band. Rolo and Ben miss you. And frankly, the label needs you.”

“So I come back, just like that?”

“You’ll be compensated of course,” Adam sounded strangely delighted, “For one, Jamie and his cronies will disappear. Acxa included. Jamie will go to court, hopefully jail. And he will lose all legal rights to Edge. And you’ll get all your money back. A contract. The whole,” Adam waved his hands about in a jazz hand like fashion, “fucking package.”

“Wow.” Keith ran both of his hands through his hair and pulled at it, “What the actual fuck.”

Shiro laughed bitterly, “My exact thoughts since Robert told me the other day.”

“Can I just come back? After all that bullshit?”

“You don’t have to. There is nothing pulling you back. The choice is up to you.”

Keith thought about it. Thought about being on stage again. Writing songs, being in the studio, just creating again. All of the things he loved so much. He had only been gone for a few months, but it was enough to leave a dull ache in Keith’s mind and soul. Without performing, he just wasn’t the same. While he didn’t necessarily _need_ performing in his life, he _wanted_ it. Craved it like a drug. He tugged on his hair a bit harder. The tattoos on his arms blurred into a black and white swirl. God was he crying again?

“I’d have to be fucking stupid not to come back.” He said more to himself than Adam or Shiro. Blinking a few times he glanced up at his brother. “God I wanna come back.”

Shiro smiled, a real one this time. “Are you sure? You can always say no.”

Keith started to laugh; he was in complete and utter shock. A mix of laughter and tears made him cough a bit and Shiro patted him on the back, laughing softly as well. Adam sat there watching, a stupid look on his face. “You two are fucking idiots.”

“Well you married into this family!” Shiro teased, “You get to deal with this shit for the rest of your life.”

Keith stood up and ran his hands through his hair again. “Well shit. What do I do now?”

“Come to the studio in LA first. Robert is going to be there in a few days. Sign a contract. See Rolo and Ben again. Those are just the firsts. Nothing big is going to happen for a few months. But Robert wants to let the world know that you’re back. And here to stay.” Shiro sounded a bit lighter now. It was easing Keith’s nerves a bit to see his brother slowly relaxing as well. “And he said he’d… handle the Jamie situation.”

“Go to the press, you mean.” Keith knew how these situations worked. There would be rioting, on either side of this. Especially if it got out that Jamie assaulted Keith. And Shiro was right; much as he hated to admit it Keith was the most popular of the band. As soon as his fans found out about this… it would be a fucking shit show.

“Yes.” Adam said, finishing off his coffee, “Go to the press. This situation is going to deal a blow on Edge and the label, for a bit. But, once Robert announces that you’re back, it should turn the tides.”

“When does Robert want me in LA?”

“Thursday.”

Two days away. What in gods name was Keith going to do for two days? Twiddle his thumbs? Write some songs? Keep the shop open and wait for some random middle-aged people to come in and buy a record or two? “You can come with us tomorrow when we leave.” Adam said, “LA is only a couple hour drive.”

Keith turned in circles a few times, “What am I supposed to do with the apartment? The store?”

“Leave it here.” Shiro said simply, “It’ll still be here when you get back. You sold the apartment in New York right? This can be your home base. I’m sure you can find someone to run the store while you’re gone.”

“Right. Of course.” Keith glanced around his apartment. Shiro was right. When Keith wasn’t on tour or in LA recording songs he was at his apartment in New York. He sold that shortly after the whole Jamie incident, but of course there was absolutely no reason that Keith couldn’t make this his permanent home. He was able to tell Shiro and Adam that they should just leave right then and there, but then his heart lurched. “Holy shit.” He whispered, staring out the door.

“What is it?” Shiro asked. He was about to walk over to Keith when Adam grabbed his hand gently.

“Lance.”

Shiro’s brow furrowed in confusion, “What about a lance?”

Keith turned back to Adam and Shiro. “I forgot about Lance.” He blushed furiously, “He was… the guy I was with earlier.”

“Oh.” Adam said simply. Then he smiled. “ _Your_ guy.”

“Adam, Jesus Christ.” Keith tugged at his t-shirt. “You make me feel like I’m 15 with my first crush.”

“Well, just tell Lance that you have business in LA.” Shiro said, still sounding a bit confused. “Should be pretty simple.”

Keith groaned, “Nothing about Lance and I is _simple_.”

Adam stood and grabbed Shiro’s hand. “Well. I don’t know this Lance person, but I do know you. You’re a pretty easygoing guy. Talk to Lance. As long as you’re in LA on Thursday it doesn’t matter to us.” He turned to his husband, “Right Shiro?”

Shiro looked at Adam for a long second. “What he said.”

That made Keith laugh. “You never were that good with words were you?”

“Clearly not.” He walked across the room and hugged Keith again. “We’ll see you soon, alright?”

Keith hugged Shiro tightly. “Yeah. I will see you soon.” He showed Shiro and Adam out and waved as they walked away. Apparently their Air BnB was only a couple blocks away. Before they left in the morning they were going to grab breakfast. At Lava Java. Just Keith’s luck. But he could talk to Lance then.

For some reason Keith was afraid to talk to Lance about this. He had a feeling Lance would be delighted about Keith getting the band back, but the idea of their future was more up in the air then ever. Keith laughed bitterly to himself, “Future?” He said aloud. He and Lance slept together, several times granted, but it was only one night. Keith shouldn’t get ahead of himself here. Lance said what he said because it was in the moment. At this very moment he was probably laughing over the whole situation with a bunch of friends. Talking about fucking the famous Keith Kogane.

He sat down heavily. His chest hurt. Now he felt sick to his stomach. The thought of Lance just using him hadn’t occurred until now. Why did it seem so possible now? Keith bit the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood. Of course that had to be it. After Lance realized who Keith was he seized the opportunity.

This hurt so much more than Keith thought possible. He felt his cell phone vibrating in his pocket. Pulling it out he saw that Lance was calling him. Clenching his teeth he debated what he should do. Answer it and pretend like nothing was wrong? Ignore it and deal with the awkward vibe tomorrow morning?

Even though Keith thought Lance might be using him a deep feeling in his stomach made him answer the call. “Hello?” He forced his voice to sound normal.

“Keith? Hey.” Even over the phone Lance’s voice brought Keith comfort.

“Hey Lance.”

“I’m surprised.”

Keith felt his brow furrow, “About what?”

Lance laughed, “I stole your phone and programmed my number into it?”

“Oh.” Keith pulled his phone away from his ear for a moment, the screen did in fact say _Lance McClain,_ “You did do that.”

“You aren’t mad?”

Keith clenched his teeth again. “Of course not.”

“Hm. Good.” Lance went quiet on his end of the line.

“Lance?”

“Yeah?”

“Why’d you call?” Keith fiddled with a stray string on his shirt.

“Oh.” Lance laughed softly, “Just wanted to hear your voice?”

Keith snorted. “Are you this cheesy all the time?”

“Oh yeah. Of course. I’m going to smother you with attention from here on out.” Keith could almost hear Lance thinking, “If that’s still ok? Cuz I mean I know that we slept together but maybe reality hit after I left and now you want nothing to do with me? Wow, ok wow, fuck me. I am going to shut up now.”

“Lance.” Keith swallowed thickly, “It’s still ok.” He wished with every single fiber of his being that he was wrong. That Lance’s feelings were genuine.

“Ok. Ok, cool.” Lance sounded relieved. “I’ll, see you tomorrow, maybe?”

“Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow Lance.”

***

Keith woke up the next morning feeling groggy and irritated. After he finished talking with Lance last night it had taken him a long time to get to sleep. Too many emotions running through his head. All the shit with the band, and everything with Lance. Or the nothing with Lance. Keith still wasn’t sure what to make of it.

But Keith knew at this point that the feelings he had for Lance were real. Very real and very powerful. He was planning on talking to Lance today after Shiro and Adam left. Whether or not Keith would be leaving for LA with a broken heart was left to Lance.

Keith’s alarm was still chirping and he dug around and found his phone and turned it off. He sat up and rubbed his face, yawning. He shuffled slowly to his bathroom and flipped on the light and stared at himself in the mirror. Only wearing boxers allowed Keith to get a good look. He was almost covered fully in tattoos, all black and gray work. Tattoo artists across the globe had asked to give Keith some watercolor and just color tattoos, but Keith had gone so long with getting just black and gray that he stuck with that.

The only tattoos he ever got any gripe over were the ones on his neck. His dad had thrown a fit over those. He said that no one would ever want to be with Keith because of them. Keith ran a hand over his neck and sighed. Lance liked his neck tats well enough. Keith was sure if those tattoos hadn’t been there he would’ve seen a hickey. There had to be one, Lance attacked his neck enough in the past couple of days.

Keith’s pale ass skin shown through areas in designs or the few blank patches he had left. He thought it looked pretty interesting. He also knew that his tattoos made him look a little bulkier than he actually was. A couple years back a well-known makeup artist on Youtube managed to get Keith to come in and do a video where the makeup artist covered all of Keith’s tats. He remembered looking in the mirror for the big reveal and thinking he looked like a skeleton. Without all that ink he looked insane. His fans had lost their minds when he cried in the video. It had been a weird experience for Keith; he hadn’t looked like that in over 10 years.

So. If Lance was working this morning he was going to meet his brother and his brother’s husband. On top of all the other things making Keith nervous he now knew what happened with Lance’s family. It wasn’t like Keith had one big happy family, he only had Shiro and Adam, but they were still talking. Lance apparently didn’t have that luxury. It made Keith’s heart ache.

His phone started ringing. It was Shiro. “Hey bro.”

“You still wanna grab breakfast? You know how Adam is. Woke up at the crack of fucking dawn.”

Keith heard Adam mumbling curses under his breath over the phone. “Send Adam my love. And yeah, if you head over here I’ll be ready when you get here.”

“Alright, see you soon.”

After staring at himself for a bit longer in the mirror Keith brushed his teeth and shook his head around in an attempt to get it to look normal. “Yeah, not going to happen there bud.” He said to his reflection. His hair was curling up around his shoulders. This was the longest his hair had been in quite a long time. If he was going to keep it this long he should learn how to do other shit with it. Annoyed with the frizz Keith pulled it up into a high ponytail. A concert hairstyle. And hell, he might get to use it again soon.

By the time Keith pulled on a black pair of jeans, converse and a white cut off t-shirt Shiro and Adam were downstairs, waiting for him. Shiro took in his Keith’s outfit and rolled his eyes. “God, didn’t I ever teach you how to dress?”

He glanced down at this outfit and shrugged. “I wear shit like this all the time.”

“Exactly my point. Don’t you own an _entire_ shirt? Something that isn’t a cut off?”

“Maybe somewhere? I think I have a flannel somewhere?”

Adam groaned and took off his glasses to rub his eyes, “Are we going to sit around and argue about outfits all day? Or are we going to get some coffee before I die?”

“You’re the one that woke up at five a.m.” Shiro mumbled under his breath.

Keith rolled his eyes. Glancing across the street at Lava Java he swallowed thickly. “Ok so, Lance works at that coffee place. His older sister owns it. But can you guys like, not treat me like a 15 year old?”

“Wait, how old are you again?” Shiro teased.

“I’m 27, Shiro. You’re 34. Let’s act like it? Ok?” He felt more teasing was coming on and he turned to Shrio, attempting to portray how serious he was. “I just… I’m really into him, ok? Like stupidly so.” He glanced away from his brother, “And I want you to meet him. And like him.”

The trio remained silent for a tense moment. “Ok. Ok. I’m excited to meet him.”

Keith clenched his teeth and nodded. “Ok.”

He started walking across the street and he knew Shiro and Adam were following behind him. Keith also knew they were smirking behind his back, teasing him. But he did trust his brother to act seriously in this situation. Hell, Keith had never had a serious boyfriend, ever. Keith never bothered to introduce Shiro to anyone because he knew they wouldn’t last more than a night, or a few weeks.

And when Keith opened the front door of Lava Java and met eyes with Lance, he felt his heart lurch. This shit was different. It had to be; he has _never_ felt this way about a person before. Everything about this was so new…

“Keith? You gunna stand in the doorway forever?” Adam stuck his head over Keith’s shoulder and glanced around.

Blushing Keith let Shiro and Adam through the door and slowly approached the counter. “Hey,” He breathed. Lance quite literally hopped over the counter and pulled Keith into a hug.

“Morning.”

Shiro cleared his throat. Keith pulled away just enough that he could make eye contact with his brother. “Shiro, Adam. This is Lance.” Then Keith turned to Lance and stared into his beautiful blue eyes for as long as he could manage, “Lance, this is my big brother Shiro and his husband, Adam.”

Lance blushed, not realizing the spectacle he had just made. But he did keep a hand on the small of Keith’s back. Lance looked at Keith and whispered, “You could’ve told me your brother and his husband were in town.”

Keith smirked, “Thought I’d surprise you.”

“Its nice to meet you.” Lance stuck out his hand, not leaving Keith’s side. Shiro smiled and moved forward. Keith felt a weird surge when he watched Lance and Shiro shake hands. This had never happened before. He wondered if Shiro felt weird about this too. Adam came forward and took Lance’s hand as well. “Sorry for the white knight shit.” Lance blushed again.

“No problem.” Shiro said. “I’m just surprised that Keith found someone to white knight for him.”

Keith rolled his eyes and blushed. He turned to look at Lance. “Sorry for my annoying ass older brother.”

“Lance! Stop manhandling your boy toy and make some coffee!” Rachel called from the backroom.

Lance groaned. “Sorry for my annoying ass older sister.” He sounded like he was at the end of his rope. Keith found it enduring. Keith was going to turn to Shiro to say something but stopped when he felt Lance’s lips on his forehead. “Lemme make you some coffee so Rach will get off my ass.” He said softly.

Keith managed a small “Ok”. It hadn’t been that long since Lance had touched him, but even a simple kiss on the forehead was enough to make Keith’s skin tingle. Lance noticed and grinned, quirking a brow. Keith punched his shoulder lightly.

Instead of jumping over the counter Lance walked around the counter, exchanging a few words with Rachel. Then he laughed and Keith felt it in his gut. Shiro came up and gently touched Keith’s shoulder. “Hey.” His voice sounded off.

Keith quirked a brow, “What?”

“Nothing- just, he’s nice.”

“Oh.” Keith smiled, “Cool.” His smile grew when he looked back at Lance. “Get whatever you want. I’m paying.” Keith offered. After about ten minutes the three of them were sitting around a table, discussing band stuff.

“Robert texted us last night, Rolo and Ben are going to be in LA tomorrow night. So the whole band will be there for the meeting.”

Keith sipped his coffee, “They know what has been going on, right? They haven’t been kept in the dark?”

“They are aware.” Shiro twirled his wedding ring, “They are excited to see you again.”

“I’ve missed them.” Keith grinned, “Does Rolo still smoke like a fucking sailor?”

Adam laughed, “He does. He tried vaping for a bit but Ben kept making fun of him so he stopped that.”

“We’re talking about them like I haven’t seen them in years.”

“It seems like it’s been that long.” Shiro took a sip of his coffee and stared out a window. “The past couple of months haven’t been fun.”

Keith sat there for a bit. He wasn’t going to ask. Thinking about all the shit Jamie did to Shiro and his best friends, it made his blood boil. He was about to speak when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Glancing up he saw Lance and smiled. “Hey. Mind if I join you guys for a bit? It got super slow and Rach kicked me out of the backroom.”

“Yeah, of course.” Adam reached behind him and pulled up a chair. “We’d love to know more about you.”

Lance chuckled and sat down. His arm rested on the back of Keith’s chair, his fingers lightly brushing Keith’s arm. It was a simple touch, an easy gesture, but it was so intimate. It reminded Keith of how Shiro and Adam are with each other. At this very moment Shiro was rubbing a crumb off Adam’s face and readjusting his glasses. What a lovely picture the four of them had to make. “So Lance. Have you lived here all your life?” Shiro asked once he pulled his hands away from Adam’s face. Keith noticed the ever so slight tensing of Lance’s muscles at the question. But the small smile never left his face.  


“Pretty much. I’m from Cuba originally, but my parents moved here shortly after I was born. And I went to college in Boston.”

“Do you mind me asking what you studied?” Adam questioned.

Lance grinned, “Music Journalism.”

“There aren’t a lot of schools in the US that offer Music Journalism degrees.”

Keith felt a proud surge in his gut. Look at Lance. _His_ Lance, impressing Shiro and Adam. “Mhm. That’s why I went all the way to Boston.”

“Lance has been writing for _Breath._ ” Keith said proudly. Lance glanced at him and grinned but there was a twinge of sadness of in his eyes.

“Holy shit.” Shiro said, “That is huge. Congrats Lance.”

Then Lance actually blushed. His fingers went back to gently stroking Keith’s arm. “Yeah, it went well for a lot of years, not so much anymore. But ya know, passage of time and stuff.”

Adam nodded. “Oh yeah I get it. I’ve changed careers five or six times in the past ten years. You can work up to something all your life and love it for years, but if that passion fizzles out then you get to move onto a different thing. And who knows, you might love that new thing even more.”

Lance blinked at Adam for a long second. Keith could tell this was one of the first times this thought had occurred to Lance. “Yeah, yeah. You’re right.”

“Hadn’t thought about that before?” Adam chuckled.

“I guess the thought hadn’t crossed my mind.” Lance looked at Keith, a little dumbfounded. Keith smiled at Lance, he just couldn’t help it. Seeing Lance smile just bubbled Keith’s happiness.

“You’re ridiculous.” Keith heard himself say.

Lance looked at him and raised his eyebrows, “ _I’m_ ridiculous?”

Then they just stared at each other, smiling like idiots. Keith leaned in closer and probably would’ve kissed Lance if Shrio hadn’t cleared his throat. Blushing Keith looked at his brother but didn’t lean any further back. Shiro was looking at his watch. “Hey, Adam and I better get going. Did you decide if you’re coming with us or not?”

Keith shook his head. “I’ll rent a car and come down tomorrow night.”

Adam stood and patted Keith on the back. “See you soon.” He shook Lance’s hand again, a bright smile on his face, “It was lovely meeting you Lance.”

Lance stood and shook Shiro and Adam’s hands again. “It was great meeting you two. Sorry again for attacking your brother.”

Shiro laughed. “No problem. Haven’t seen Keith this relaxed in years.”

After a few other goodbyes Keith and Lance were left sitting at the table alone. Keith leaned over and gently kissed Lance. “Hey.” He said in a different tone.

“I’ve been waiting to do that all morning.” Lance said, his grin bright. “But uh, you’re going somewhere?”

Keith nodded, “I’m going to LA for a few days.”

“Hm.” Lance clenched his fist, “So um, would it be weird if I asked why you were going?”

“No, not weird at all.” Keith paused, “But can we talk about it later today it’s kinda a loaded conversation.”

Lance looked at him carefully, “Yeah. I love loaded conversations.” He looked back at the counter and saw that Rachel was busier now. “I’m gunna get back to work.” Lance kissed Keith on the forehead again and said, “We’ll talk later.”

Keith lingered over the last couple of sips of coffee. Normally these types of conversations wouldn’t make Keith that nervous. Though he did suppose he just didn’t have conversations with people. The people he was close to had the advantage of knowing him for years. They were used to his weird quirks and moods.

Plus he had the advantage of expressing his thoughts and feelings through his music. Edge’s latest album was all the shit and he’d kept inside for way too long. All the bullshit with rehab, losing his dad, coming up in the world and seeing all his impossible dreams coming true. And all through metal core.

Bands like Edge don’t get that many opportunities to get big. Of course there was Avenged Sevenfold, people also like to compare Edge to My Chemical Romance, even though MCR was more pop punk than anything.

Keith stood up and took the empty coffee mugs to the dish bin. Lance was behind the counter chatting with costumers. When he caught Lance’s eye he smiled and winked. Keith pushed out the door and walked back across the street. Then he opened up the store for business.

_Lance_

Jesus fuck he was nervous.

He shouldn’t be though, Keith just wanted to talk. But… he wanted to talk _after_ he had introduced Lance to his brother and his brother’s husband. No big deal right? Keith probably just had a weird case of the family jitters. Or something.

Throughout the day Lance talked and laughed and flirted with the regular costumers. But the entire day his mind was running a million miles an hour. It was strange, to feel shit like this. Lance had gone so many fucking years feeling nothing. He wrote for _Breath._ He worked at the coffee shop, but he never felt anything. If he was being honest he probably hadn’t felt anything _real_ since Damien. Having too many emotions was dangerous for him. It lead to his boyfriend leaving him, his family disowning him, and too many one night stands that were for the sex and the sex alone.

Keith was new for Lance. Something about Keith made Lance take steps back to look at his own life. It was hard, it was frightening, but it was also… fun? During the past couple of days he had read through some of his first articles for _Breath._ Those articles were filled with joy and laughter and passion. Lance knew what he was doing, and it showed. It was no wonder that Lance was hired when he was. Though he had been losing steam over the years.

Thinking back on the advice Hunk had given him a few weeks back Lance had called his boss and requested a couple months leave. Gary hadn’t been happy about it but he had granted Lance’s request. So now Lance had a couple months at his leisure. What he was going to do with all this time off was beyond him, but Lance hoped staying away from a keyboard for a bit would reignite his love for writing again.

The afternoon business slowed and then ended completely. There was still about an hour to closing time and Lance was going to lose his mind. All of the small side projects he could’ve done were done already. Lance didn’t _want_ to think right now. He figured he would have plenty of time to think after he and Keith talked tonight.

Rachel found him rearranging the wall of beans, again. It had to have been the fourth or fifth time at this point. She stood back and watched him for a moment. Her baby brother was still growing and changing. Ever since Marco had come over and they talked Lance seemed to flourish in little ways. He was more trusting, a bit quicker to smile.

But she knew Lance was nervous. Keith wanted to talk about something. Rachel hoped it wasn’t anything serious, but then again she couldn’t quite get a read on Keith. He was a mystery, but a good one. Hell, Keith’s older brother had a husband, if they Kogane’s stayed in Lance’s life Rachel knew they would have a positive influence on her baby brother.

She walked over and touched his shoulder. “Go talk to him. I know you are probably losing your mind right about now.”

Lance looked over at her and grimaced. “That obvious, huh?”

“You know I can read you like an open book.” Rachel crossed her arms over her chest, “Don’t freak out too much. Keith cares about you. And you care about him. I’m sure its not anything serious.”

Lance laughed and ran a hand through his hair, “Yeah I hope so.” His fist tightened in his hair, “It was my mistake, to get involved with him.”

“This isn’t a mistake.” Rachel’s voice was firm, “I don’t believe in all this cosmic justice bullshit, but Keith came into your life for a reason. You both need each other. Keith is a smart guy, he knows this too. Just talk with him, and don’t let him slip away.” Her voice catches a bit, “I haven’t seen you smile at a person like that in _years_. You deserve happiness more than anyone.”

Lance blinked at his big sister for a moment. Then he pulled her into a bone-crushing hug. “Thanks sis.” He went and grabbed his things and kissed Rachel on the cheek before heading across the street to talk to Keith.

***

Lance took a deep breath and opened up the door to Keith’s shop. Keith was sorting through records when Lance walked in, and he was singing along to the song playing over the speakers. Lance paused and listened to Keith’s voice. It was smoky and rough but one of the sexiest things he had ever heard. It seemed to pull and grate at Lance’s stomach. He listened to the words Keith was singing and closed his eyes.

_I believe in ecstasy_

_But you might never love me_

_So can you tell me how we get it right_

_I’ve got to be cautious_

Keith’s head was bopping along to the music and Lance felt a smile cross his face. Anyone could easily see that music was Keith’s driving force, even if it wasn’t his own music. It was enduring and ridiculous and Lance felt his heart stutter in his chest.

Eventually Keith turned and saw Lance in the doorway and blushed a bright crimson. “How long have you been standing there?”

Lance sauntered into the store and over to Keith, “Long enough to be impressed.” When he was up next to Keith he brushed some hair out of his face. “You should sing more.”

Keith rolled his eyes, “Yeah, no. People would hate my voice.”

“Hm. I think you should give the people more credit.” Lance smirked and tugged lightly on a lock of Keith’s hair, “Give it a try sometime.”

They sat there staring at each other. Keith slowly smiled and Lance felt it in his gut. How this man’s smile already had this much power over him he would never know. As he stared back at Keith he felt that weird feeling come back. Pulling his hand out of Keith’s hair he said, “You wanted to talk?”

Keith’s smile vanished and he nodded. “Yeah, um, some stuff came up last night. I wanted to tell you before all the other shit goes down.” 

“Hm. Stuff.” Lance carded a hand into his hair, “I love stuff.”

“I think that its good stuff.”

“Good. That’s good.”

Keith grimaced, “We are both too awkward for this shit, you know that?”

Lance nudged up into Keith’s space and brushed his thumb lightly over Keith’s cheek. “I think you’re probably right Kogane.”

“Come upstairs? We can talk.”

Lance nodded and watched Keith lock up the store, turning off the sound system and the lights. Then he turned to Lance and smiled softly. They headed up to Keith’s apartment and Lance tried to calm the quells in his stomach. Keith seemed just as nervous. “So… I wasn’t expecting Shiro and Adam to come to town.”

“They seem really nice.” Lance answered, not knowing what else to say.

Keith ran a hand through his hair, “They had some stuff they wanted to tell me, about Edge.”

“Any good news?”

“Yeah, yeah I think so.” Keith smiled. “Edge, Robert, the label. They want me back.”

“No shit?” Lance felt happiness bubble in his gut, “Keith that is incredible.” He walked over to Keith and enveloped him in a tight hug. Keith wrapped his arms around Lance’s back. “Wait, wait.” Lance pulled back and looked at Keith, “What about Jamie?”

“He’s being fired. For more than one reason.” Keith loosened his grip slightly, “I wasn’t the only one he hurt.”

“Jesus.”

“That, his ‘vision’ for Edge completely tanked. The label has lost too much money to continue on like they are.”

“So you’ll be front man?”

Keith blushed lightly, “Maybe, the meeting in LA tomorrow, I’m sure it’ll be covered then.”

“Holy shit, wow Keith. That is incredible.” He leaned in and kissed Keith softly. He felt Keith smile against his mouth. Then another dark thought crossed through Lance’s head. Pulling away he asked, “Jamie is probably going to court, isn’t he?”

Keith only nodded.

“Will you have to testify against him?”

“Shiro isn’t sure yet.” There was a slight tremor in Keith’s hands, “I don’t want to. But if my testimony will help put him behind bars then I’ll do it.”

Lance leaned forward and kissed Keith’s forehead. For a long time Lance just held Keith in his arms and swayed quietly back and forth. The tremor slowly left Keith’s hands. His face was pressed into Lance’s neck. “If you do have to testify, I can be there.” Lance swallowed thickly, “If you want me to be there.”

Keith pulled back and stared into Lance’s eyes. Lance couldn’t read his expression. Then Keith was kissing him, hard and fast. Arms tangled and hair was tugged and shirts loosened and suddenly Lance was being pushed down onto Keith’s bed. The air left Lance’s lungs as he stared up Keith. His face was flushed and he was breathing hard. “You’d do that for me?” Keith’s voice was soft, breathless.

“You know I would.” Lance knew his face had softened. Then it grew serious once more, “I’d do anything for you.”

Keith smiled then, wide and so stupidly happy. He nuzzled his face into Lance’s neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses as he went. “Come to LA with me.”

“Wait, wait,” Lance pulled Keith’s face back so he could look at him, “Seriously?”

Sitting up Keith brushed some hair out of his face. “Yeah, I think… it could be fun? And I know you live here and all and you have the café and _Breath_. But maybe you could come to LA with me. Take a break for a couple days. Plus… I want you there.” He gently wove his fingers together with Lance’s. “I know that world, Edge’s world is intense. But if I’m going back to all the insanity, I want you there with me.” Keith looked away, blushing.

Lance sat up and readjusted Keith on his lap. He brushed some hair behind Keith’s ear and kissed him, long and hard. He felt it everywhere, in his stomach, his heart, his lungs, his brain. Keith kissed him back, pushing him back a bit. So, Keith did want this, wanted _him._ It was twisting something around in his gut, but in a good way. This absolutely incredible human being wanted to bring Lance into his life. Pulling away just enough to separate their lips Lance said, “Well when you put it that way, I can’t really say no, can I?”

Snorting Keith started to pull Lance’s shirt over his head. Together they wrestled it off and worked on Keith’s. “Do you wear anything other than cutoffs?” Lance teased. Keith’s shirts always came off easier than Lance’s.

“I’ve never-“ He inhaled sharply when Lance kissed his collarbone, “Really cared about that shit.”

“It suits you.”

“The cutoffs?” Keith chuckled and reached down to fiddle with Lance’s shorts.

“Mhm.” Lance pushed Keith over and pulled out of his shorts and boxers. As he worked on Keith’s he said, “Otherwise how would anyone see those gorgeous tattoos?”

Rolling his eyes Keith helped shrug out of the rest of his clothes. “I’m starting to think you only like me for the tattoos.”

Lance kissed his way down Keith’s chest, rolling their hips together. Keith groaned gripped at the blankets on his bed. “I like everything about you Kogane.”

Something swelled in Keith’s chest then. He couldn’t find the words to respond so he drug Lance’s face up to his and captured Lance’s lips in a hot kiss. It was a long time before either one of them talked again.

***

Several hours later Lance and Keith were lounging in Keith’s bed, chatting over the last bits of takeout. Neither one of them had bothered to get dressed, and a late evening breeze drifted in through the windows. Keith lay on his back and Lance idly stroked a hand through his hair. Keith captured on of Lance’s hands and traced the patterns in his skin. “So you’re sure, about coming to LA?”

Lance nodded, smiling down at Keith. “I’m sure. Rach has wanted to try out some high school kids at the café. Its almost summer so teenagers are desperate for summer jobs to fuel their booze kicks.” He looked up and out one of the windows, “And I emailed my editor a while back and requested some time off.” Taking a deep breath Lance looked back down at Keith, “I think a couple months away from _Breath_ will be good for me.”

Keith smiled and sat up, “Whatever you think is best babe.”

Time seemed to stop. Lance felt a smirk on his face. Keith was blushing and busying himself with tidying up some trash. Lance captured his wrist and pulled Keith’s hands to his mouth and kissed it. “Babe?”

“It just slipped out…” Keith relented as Lance pulled him onto his lap. He met Lance’s eyes, clearly embarrassed.

Lance grinned brightly. “Babe.” Keith blushed, “I’m going to call you babe _all the time._ ” Lance giggled and let Keith push him onto the mattress.

Then they were kissing again, slowly, and lazily. Lance felt that overwhelming feeling in his gut again. He couldn’t remember the last time he kissed someone like this, or someone else kissed him like this. The sounds of rustling bed sheets and kissing mingled in with the quiet sounds of the evening. Eventually the kissing stopped and Keith moved to Lance’s side and shoved his face into Lance’s neck. Smirking Lance said, “ _Babeeee,_ I’m cradling you in my arms.”

Keith’s laugh vibrated through Lance’s neck. He moved in ever closer and slowly stroked a hand up and down Lance’s hip. “This is nice.” Keith whispered.

Lance felt tears rush his eyes hard and fast. Blinking rapidly Lance nodded and wrapped his arms tighter around Keith’s waist. He pressed his lips to Keith’s forehead, “Yeah, yeah it is.”

***

_Black Label- LA_

“I forgot how fucking humid this city is.” Lance said sarcastically. Keith joined him on the balcony. They were at a condo provided by the label. Adam and Shiro had gotten here the day before them so they had already laid claim to one of the two bedrooms. There had been an awkward moment when Keith and Lance realized that they could either share a bedroom or one of them would have to bum it on the couch. Of course they had ended up sharing a room, it already seemed ridiculous not to.

Shiro and Adam had both seemed a little confused that Lance had come to LA with Keith, but got over it quickly. Lance really liked Adam, he was sarcastic and funny and really easy going. And Shiro was cool as hell too. Not only did Shiro manage Edge, he managed several other bands as well. He was tough and determined and clearly Keith’s older brother. They had the same ticks, the same wavers in their voices. Lance was learning so much about this little family unit just by sitting back and watching.

There was about two hours until Keith’s meeting with the label and the rest of the band. Lance kept insisting that he didn’t need to go, that he could stay behind. In fact, he did want to meet up with a couple of his blogger buddies, see how they had been doing. He thought he’d feel a lot more listless without _Breath_ in his life, but it was strange. It was like a hand that had been slowly choking him for years had disappeared. Hunk and Adam were right, Lance just needed to get away from it all. Then hopefully he’d be able to start writing in his own way again.

Keith’s laughter brought Lance out of his thoughts. “I know. I haven’t been in LA for almost a year now. Edge would usually meet in the New York office.”

Looking over at Keith made a gentle smile break out over Lance’s face. Even as they were driving down here this morning Keith seemed to come out of a shell. Lance knew he was nervous, but also excited beyond anything Lance had seen.

Lance was going to see Keith in his element for the first time and it was… thrilling. They had talked about it on the drive, the love Keith had for performing. Keith said he put his heart and soul into it. And from all the videos Lance had seen he knew Keith wasn’t lying. The passion and the fire in Keith’s eyes spoke for him. It was no wonder half the world was obsessed with him. Lance couldn’t but help feel a surge of pride when he realized somehow he had won over Keith. They hadn’t been together long but the thought of being away from Keith made Lance’s heart hurt. Looking over at Keith now Lance knew he would do whatever he could to always protect Keith, and even… love him?

Blinking Lance turned his attention back to the LA skyline. Did the word “love” seriously just pop into his brain? It must’ve. And it didn’t feel wrong. Not in the slightest. After Damien Lance didn’t think it would be possible to feel like this for another person. In fact he had purposely avoided it, terrified of losing it again. And he could lose what he had with Keith. Very easily. It all felt like a weird fever dream.

“Are you nervous?” Lance asked.

The late afternoon wind blew through Keith’s hair. “Yeah. Hard not to be. I haven’t seen Robert or the guys in months. Not since the day Jamie kicked me out of the band. I have known most of these guys since high school, but after everything… I guess I’m scared that they don’t like me anymore.” He turned to Lance, his eyes incredibly vulnerable. “Pretty stupid, huh?”

Lance took one of Keith’s hands and squeezed it lightly. “Its not stupid.” He yanked Keith closer and pressed his lips to Keith’s forehead. Lance felt some of the tension drain out of Keith’s shoulders. Pulling back slightly he stared at a spot over Keith’s head. “They’re like you’re family. They _are_ you’re family. Its only natural that you’re a little scared.”

Lance felt arms snake slowly around his waist. They stood there like that, for a long time. Then Keith asked quietly, “Is it that way, with your family?”

Gritting his teeth Lance said, “Yeah, it is.”

“But you have Rachel, right?”

“Yeah I do. But it even took her a while to come around after I came out. And very recently my older brother Marco came around to see me.” Lance sighed, “He texted me the other day to tell me our dad found out about it and went off on him. 30 years old and getting yelled at for talking to his little brother-“ Lance scoffed. “Some of my cousins have reached out to let me know they don’t care that I’m bi, but my parents haven’t talked to me since.”

“I’m sorry Lance.” Keith rested his chin on Lance’s shoulder.

Sighing Lance rested his head against Keith’s. “Its ok. I mean, not really. But there are people everywhere that go through worse than I did. Not everybody gets a big happy ending with their family.”

Keith pulled back and looked up at Lance. His eyes were sympathetic but tender. It made Lance’s heart melt. Leaning forward slowly Lance kissed Keith softly. Lance didn’t think the pain of losing his family would ever go away, but he knew he was right. At least he hadn’t been kicked out; no one had tried to kill him. In the end he supposed he had gotten lucky. And who knows, maybe Keith would become his family.

Someone cleared their throat and Lance and Keith pulled apart. Glancing back Lance noticed Shiro in the doorway to the balcony. “Sorry to break up the party… but our Uber is here.”

“Already?” Keith asked. His grip around Lance’s waist tightened a bit.

“Yeah, ya know, LA traffic and all that bullshit.” Shiro said as he made his way back into the condo.

“Ready?” Lance asked, putting his hands on Keith’s cheeks.

Keith took a deep breath. “Yeah, yeah I think so.”

“Let’s go then.”

_Keith_

Adam and Shiro sat in the middle of the Uber XL. Lance was sitting in the back with Keith, his arm around his shoulders. Lance knew how nervous he was and his presence calmed Keith a bit. Robert, Ben and Rolo were coming to the meeting. Jamie and Acxa were not going to be present. Shiro said Acxa was fighting the label tooth and nail, but Jamie had stayed relatively quiet. That made Keith extremely nervous.

“Hey.” Lance’s voice was gentle. “Are you doing ok?”

Keith shook his head. “I feel like I’m going to puke.”

“Don’t you dare puke,” Shiro said without turning around, “If you’re going to puke do it at the label.”

The driver of the Uber grimaced; Keith saw it in the review mirror. Shaking his head again he turned to look at Lance instead. He smiled softly and ran a finger over Keith’s jawline. “I mean I should be the one that is nervous. I’m meeting your labels president _and_ the rest of your band.” Lance leaned in close to Keith’s ear so no one else would hear him, “They’re going to think I stole you.”

Keith smirked, “Well, technically you did.” Lance pulled back and hummed. “Honestly Robert might recognize you. _Breath_ and Black Label have been involved for years now.”

“You know, you’re right. Though I never really wrote any articles for bands signed to Black Label.”

Sitting back and glancing out the window Keith saw they were caught up in regular LA freeway traffic. He sighed. “Ya know, before Jamie kicked me out of the band I was trying to convince all the guys to go independent. I was kinda sick of the label controlling us.”

“Is that something you would still consider?” Lance asked, winding his hand into Keith’s.

“Maybe not right away. The band has been through so much shit in the past months that trying to go solo now would be suicide. I’m not sure if Ben and Rolo would even still be down for it.”

The Uber finally started to move again and Keith realized he was starting to recognize his surroundings. They were close to the label now. Ben and Rolo had wanted to come with Keith and Shiro to the police station a few days after the assault but Keith wouldn’t let them. In reality Keith had been embarrassed. Jamie not only traumatized him, but made him feel like a fool as well. Jamie had said he had been in love with Keith for _years._ So it made Keith feel stupid for not seeing any signs before. If he had been more vigilant then maybe he would’ve seen it sooner. Then the assault could have been avoided all together.

That was something he eventually worked out in therapy. Nothing about the assault had been his fault. Lance had said the same thing as well. Keith felt like he had moved on from blaming himself, but there were still dark days where it all felt like it was his fault.

So, he hadn’t seen Ben and Rolo since that day at the label in NYC. They had both tried to reach out to Keith in the initial months after Keith left Edge, but Keith was sure he put a damper on the relationship by never responding. Not to even let them know he was ok. Guilt worked its way up Keith’s throat. Ben and Rolo were most likely furious with him.

The Uber finally pulled off the freeway and started winding through smaller side streets. Keith grabbed one of Lance’s hands and held it tightly. Lance smiled out the window and gently ran a thumb back and forth across Keith’s knuckles. “Ben, Rolo and Robert are already in the conference room. I told them we were running a little late due to traffic.” Shiro typed a few messages on his phone. “Robert says, and I quote, ‘Glad we are finally getting that stubborn asshole back at the label’”.

Keith snorted, “I don’t know why I expected him to change.”

“If anything he became _more_ of an asshole without you around.” Adam offered.

“Hm.” Keith sat back and took a deep breath. In the next moment the Uber pulled up in front of Black Label. The LA office building was pretty impressive, mostly glass, but the way the sun reflected off of it the whole building looked black. Inside was mostly chrome and new wave bullshit Keith never understood. He liked the New York office better. It was built into some old brownstones and generally looked more inviting.

Shiro was thanking the driver; Adam was already out of the vehicle and looking at his phone. Lance turned to him and asked, “You ready for this?”

“Yeah, yeah I think so.”

Together they thanked the Uber and took a second to gather themselves on the sidewalk. “Ready?” Shiro asked.

Nodding Keith took the lead and pushed open the door to the label. The secretary hadn’t changed in the time he had been gone and she smiled happily at him. “K! So good to see you again!”

“Allura, hi.”

She stood up and rushed around her desk and enveloped Keith in a startlingly strong hug. “The label has been in shambles since you left babe.”

Keith hugged her back, “Sorry. Didn’t really have a choice on my end.”

“Sounds like it.” She released Keith and rolled her eyes, then kissed his cheek. “Shiro. Haven’t seen you down here in a while either.” Smiling Shiro pulled her into a hug. “Adam, good to see you too!” Allura’s beaming smile then turned to Lance, where it faltered a bit. “Keith, who’s this?”

Lance stuck out his hand, “I’m Lance.”

Allura shook it and gave him a once over. “Are you here with Keith?”

“Guess I am.” Lance smiled at Keith and slipped an arm around his waist. Keith quirked a brow and his eyes darted back and forth between Allura and Lance.

_Oh._

Lance was _jealous._ It made Keith smile a little brighter at Lance. Turning to Allura he said, “I’ve had a weird couple of months.”

“Well, Robert and the gang are waiting upstairs in conference room five.” Allura returned to her seat and gave Lance one more glance. Keith met her eyes and raised his brows. She seemed to catch his drift and went back to typing at her sleek laptop.

The group headed to the elevators. When one arrived they stepped in and Shiro pushed a button for the sixth floor. He was reading some emails. Adam was checking the news on his phone. And Keith was picking at his thumbnail. He was more nervous than he thought he was going to be. “So, Allura.” Lance said, breaking Keith out of his fog.

Keith met Lance’s eyes and smirked. “I’ve known Allura for years now. Started out as an early groupie for the band, then worked her way up to working at the label. She’s pretty cool.”

“Hm.” Lance crossed his arms over his chest and stared at the floor.

Moving closer Keith raised his chin. “Are you jealous?” He whispered.

Lance scoffed and rolled his eyes. Then he said, “Yeah. I think I am.” He blew some hair out of his face, “There is still a lot about you that I don’t know.”

Keith fell silent. Lance was right. They were connected now; there was no fighting that. But they still had a lot to learn about one another. “That’s why I wanted to bring you here.” Keith touched Lance’s arm, “This is a huge part of who I am. And I want you to be a part of this. A part of me.” Lance looked back up at him and his expression remained neutral for a long moment. Then he smiled, softly.

“As long as you’re sure.”

The elevator dinged and Adam sighed heavily. “Y’all done being gross now? Time for business.”

Keith scoffed and lightly punched Adam on the shoulder. “This is revenge for all the shit I’ve had to endure from you and Shiro over the years.”

Turning back to Lance Keith took one of his hands and led him from the elevator. It was odd to see Lance insecure. Most of the time he was confident and maybe even a little cocky. But now he was nervous. Keith let Shiro and Adam walk a bit ahead and around a corner. Then he pulled Lance in for a quick kiss. Pressing their foreheads together Keith said, “The band is important to me, that much is true. But I _need_ you Lance. Never forget that.”

Lance blinked a few times and then smiled. Kissing Keith’s nose he said, “I need you too Keith. More than you know.” Sighing he ruffled Keith’s hair, giving him a once over, “You ready for this?”

“Yeah, lets go.” He kept Lance’s hand in his and they hurried around the corner. Adam and Shiro were already in the conference room. Happy voices drifted out into the hallway. “Alright,” Keith said aloud to no one in particular, “You got this Kogane.” Before he lost his nerve he stepped through the doorway and all the talking immediately stopped.

Five pairs of eyes drifted his way. Keith felt Lance squeeze his hand. “Keith.” Rolo stood up, “K. Holy shit.” Then he was flying across the room and was wrapping Keith in a hug. “Jesus _Christ_ dude.”

Lance had let go of Keith’s hand so Keith was able to wrap his arms around Rolo. “I’m sorry. For not calling, not texting… for disappearing. For everything.” Keith felt his throat grow tight. Rolo put him down and put his hands on his shoulders.

“You don’t need to apologize K. I’m just glad you’re ok.” Rolo was crying now too. Shit. That started Keith’s waterworks. Before he could say anything else Ben had swooped in and spun Keith around in another bone crushing hug.

“Fuck you Keith.” He said, but his tone was light and teasing. He put Keith down and slapped him on the back. “I’m so glad you’re ok. Its good to see you again.”

Keith rolled and wiped his eyes. “I’m glad to see you guys again too.” Keith noticed his band mates eyeing Lance, who was still standing behind Keith. He had his hands shoved in his jeans pockets and was staring at Keith, a beautiful smile on his face. “Guys, this is Lance. Lance, Rolo and Ben.” Lance moved forward to shake their hands; “I met him when I moved. He’s uh… we’re…” Keith shrugged and found he couldn’t meet his friend’s eyes.

“Good to meet you guys.” Lance said softly. He moved forward to stand at Keith’s side.

Rolo rolled his eyes, “Yeah, yeah. Y’all are fucking.”

Keith and Lance both squawked and blushed. Ben and Rolo laughed and high fived. “Glad Keith found you Lance. Really.” Ben said. “He’s been alone too long.”

Then the last man in the room stood, straightened his suit. “Keith. Good to see you again.”

“Robert. Hey.” Keith guided Lance over to some vacant seats. “Robert, Lance. Lance, Robert.”

Robert stopped and stared at Lance for a bit. “Do I know you?” He asked.

“Ah, maybe.” Lance rubbed the back of his neck. “I write- well, wrote for _Breath._ You might know me from the magazine.” The men in the room that didn’t know Lance all stopped short. Much as Lance tried to deny it _Breath_ was absolutely massive, and having his name attached to it meant he was just as big.

Robert gathered his wits and shook Lance’s hand. “Ah, yes. Several colleagues of yours have interviewed my bands before. So you say _wrote_ for _Breath_?”

Lance nodded, “Been kinda burned out lately.”

Sitting down Robert laughed, “Gary is an asshole. He has burned out too many excellent writers over the years.”

Blinking Lance stared at Keith’s boss in astonishment. Robert motioned for the rest of the group to sit as well, “Sorry for being so, upfront. But I’ve been talking to other staff at _Breath_ for a long time trying to get Gary tanked.” Robert picked up a pen and clicked it open and shut several times, “But I think you’re right to take a break. I have read your writing, you are good. Don’t let Gary suck you dry.”

Keith pulled Lance down in a seat and smiled. Having several people tell Lance that he was making the right moves had to feel good. Or at least give him more confidence. “I’ll keep that in mind sir.”

Robert smiled tightly. Then he turned his attention to Keith and the rest of the band. “So. Boys. I need to start this off by personally apologizing to all of you. Mr. Yang did some hideously awful things.” His eyes moved to Keith, “I shouldn’t have let Jamie get into my head. Or let him off after what he did to you.”

Swallowing Keith nodded. “Its ok.” He said tightly.

“No, it’s not ok. But now he is going to get what he deserves.” Robert slashed his pen across the notepad in front of him. “I was contacted the other day, as far as I know Rolo, Ben and Shiro will have to testify. Keith, I haven’t heard about you yet.”

Lance took Keith’s hand beneath the table and squeezed. Robert continued, “It will be announced tomorrow that Jamie is no longer a part of Edge. And,” He quirked a brow at Keith, “That Keith is coming back. Well, K. If you are still willing to do so.”

Rolo and Ben turned to Keith expectantly. He couldn’t stop the smile that broke out over his face. “I would have to be completely stupid not to come back.” It felt like 80% of the tension drained out of the room in an instant.

“Thank god.” Robert said, scratching more notes. The rest of the men in the room laughed. “Of course we will all have to deal with the backlash of losing Jamie. But, K, you have been our biggest earner for years now. I do anticipate that the sales and loses will balance each other out.”

“Maybe we could do a couple smaller more intimate shows in the US.” Rolo tapped his fingers against the table. Bad habit of his, always drumming. “And we would have to figure out the issues of who is gunna sing now.”

Ben was nodding, “I agree. Jamie always did the lead vocals. And my voice sucks. I’m good at bass and bass only.”

Lance nudged Keith with his knee. He glanced at Lance and he was staring at him with both brows raised. Keith shook his head so Lance turned to room at large. “Have Keith do it.”

The band members and Robert stared at Lance. “I’m being serious. Keith has an incredible voice.”

“No… I don’t think I could.” Keith stuttered.

Rolo and Ben glanced at each other, then to Keith. “You did record all the backing vocals for the most recent album. _All_ the backing vocals.” Ben said, already looking more excited.

“And you have sung live on all the tours we’ve gone on recently.” Rolo added. He and Ben fist bumped, clearly thinking they were onto to something.

“Guys, guys, come on. No one would want to hear that shit live.” Keith his free hand through his hair, “I don’t even know if I could…”

Robert kept scribbling in his notepad and it was making Keith nervous. Rolo and Ben were still chattering excitedly about Keith singing and being the headline of the band. Strictly speaking Keith already _was_ the headline of the band, but now they would have to make it official, along with announcing to the world that Jamie was gone. Keith felt that he broke out in a cold sweat.

“I like the idea of small shows. Maybe we can try to book some of the same venues you played in the beginning.” Robert said, mostly to himself.

“And Keith could even do some acoustic shit! I mean he wrote the album.” Shiro chimed in, also furiously clacking away on his phone.

“Wait, wait guys.” Keith finally released Lance’s hand and waved both of his above the table. “I just said I’d come back.” He inhaled nervously, “And we don’t even know _how_ the fan base is going to react. What if you try to make me the lead and it backfires? What if I ruin the band?”

The last sentence rang through the room. It was exactly what Keith had been thinking ever since Shiro had told him Robert wanted him back. Despite people constantly telling him that he was the most “famous” of the group, the band had prevailed without him. Even if the stats had dipped, they had steadied out and remained constant. What if Keith coming back completely ruined everything?

“Keith.” Rolo’s voice was gentle, “I know you’re scared. We all are. The past few months have been hell.” His eyes grew distant, “Jamie controlled everything. He wanted to get rid of every single trace of you. It didn’t matter how much it affected us all. And whenever someone questioned us about where you went he exploded.”

Ben knocked Rolo’s shoulders and turned to Keith. “We want you back buddy. And whatever happens next, we are in it together. And nothing could be worse than what Jamie already did.”

Again all the attention in the room turned to Keith. A weird feeling surged up in his gut. Robert tapped his pen against the table. “No matter what happens, Edge has the backing of Black Label. And you aren’t a huge band for nothing. You earned the respect of venues, other bands, fans and more throughout the years. Jamie aside, the rest of you were never in this for fame. You worked hard and made your way to the top in traditional ways. And you haven’t let fame change you. You are the same happy go lucky kids throwing water guns out in the audience at Warped Tour.”

“The same boys that used to play on instruments you rented from music shops in town. The very same guys that pay for fans tickets or play acoustic shows in restaurants when it rains and outdoor concerts get cancelled.” Robert sighed, “And I’d be damned if I didn’t love you kids. Black Label was nothing before Edge. I owe my success to you.”

The three remaining members of the band stared at Robert, mouths agape. It was rare for him to show emotions, let alone talk that much. Adam laughing lightly broke the silence. “Jesus Robert,” He said sarcastically, “Don’t get emotional on us now.”

The group chuckled and Keith took a deep breath. “Yeah.” He said, making eye contact with everyone in the room, one at a time, “Lets fucking do it.”

***

Many hours later the group, minus Robert, were in the condo Shiro, Adam, Keith and Lance were using for the weekend. Drinks had been poured and _many_ pizzas had been eaten. Keith forgot how much he missed this, or missed his friends. Ever since high school his circle had been limited to the guys in the band and the people that helped run all the behind the scenes shit. And much to his delight it seemed like Lance integrated seamlessly into the group. Rolo and Ben had warmed up to him immediately. Keith met eyes with his old friend and Rolo smirked. “I’m the only single one.” He drawled, kicking up his legs to rest on the coffee table. Keith snorted and took a sip of his bourbon. Rolo was asexual, and overall just preferred to be single. He had dated in the past but no one ever stuck around long. It was a shame really, Rolo was a great guy, he could make anyone happy.

Ben was staring into the last of his drink, clearly thinking about something. He looked up and met Keith’s eyes. “Keith, I’m sorry.”

“Sorry about what?”

“For Jamie.”

Keith sighed and ran a hand over the back of his neck. “It wasn’t your fault Ben.”

“He’d been acting weird for months. I could’ve stepped up and said something…” Ben gritted his teeth, “A few weeks before the whole… well you know. He came to me and told me that he’d always been in love with you. But I didn’t think he was serious, he was drunk.” Ben put his drink down, “I should’ve said something.”

“Oh.” Keith clenched a fist in his hair, “It still wasn’t your fault B. None of it was. You didn’t know he was serious.” This was weird. Talking about Jamie like this. Like he was dead. Or just talking about the assault, it wasn’t fun. But it was a conversation they all needed to have. Because yeah, Jamie had done some fucked up shit to all of them, and people Keith didn’t even know. Unforgiveable things. But he had been their brother, their partner in crime for so many years. “He hadn’t been happy for a long time. But he never talked to us. He always was really good at keeping the bad shit close. And it is hard, talking about him like this.”

Shiro huffed. “We all loved him. For a long time. But we need to put this in the past now. Edge is still standing because of you three. And you can continue to hold it up. Take all the love and energy and passion you still have and shove it into the band. You still have so much you can do. And you are going to do it together.”

Keith stood up then, and pulled Shiro into a hug. Shortly after Ben and Rolo joined in, squeezing Keith and Shiro together. “Jesus guys,” Shiro wheezed, “I love you but I can’t breathe.”

Shortly after this Shiro and Adam went to bed. They had a flight back to NYC early in the morning. Keith and Lance were going to spend the rest of the weekend in LA before heading back home. Home. That was another strange thought Keith had to wrap his head around.

He walked Rolo and Ben to the door of the condo. The trio stood in the entryway for a long moment, all staring at the floor. Then Keith was pulled into yet another bone crushing hug. “We missed you K.” Rolo said into Keith’s shoulder.

Wrapping his arms around Rolo Keith attempted not to cry. “God, me too.” He looked up and saw Ben watching quietly. With a free hand he pulled Ben into the hug as well. “Sorry for being MIA for so long.” Keith muttered. They had said earlier that it didn’t matter, that they were just glad he was ok, but he felt like he needed to keep apologizing. “It wasn’t fair to you guys.”

“Yeah, it didn’t kinda suck.” Rolo pulled away and wiped his eyes. “But you’re back now. And we aren’t gunna let you go again.” Ben nodded and held onto one of Keith’s hands. Rolo turned over his shoulder and saw that Lance was in the kitchen, out of earshot. “Wanna tell us about him?” He asked.

Keith felt a blush creep across his cheeks. “He’s… just incredible? And uh, really beautiful.” Keith stopped and laughed nervously. “I met him in the town I moved to. He works at his sister’s coffee shop sometimes. He almost hit me with his bike.”

“Romantic.” Ben said sarcastically.

Laughing Keith tugged on a lock of Ben’s hair. “He just understands me in a way I haven’t ever experienced. And he’s been through some shit too.”

“Shared trauma.” Rolo quipped, “That’s the best shit.”

“God, you really are insufferable.” Keith laughed.

Rolo looked at him long and hard. “Are you sure about him? I’ve never seen you even remotely serious about anyone in the past.”

Keith watched Lance move through the kitchen, drying and putting away glasses. He looked tired, and hell he should be. It had been a crazy couple of days. Lance paused to look out the window at the LA skyline. The lights reflecting in the window bounced off his skin in the most fascinating way. Everything about Lance shone. “Yeah, yeah I am.” He managed to mutter.

“Jesus,” Rolo ran a hand over his shaved head, “tone it down Nicholas Sparks.” The trio laughed a bit and then Rolo said, “If he hurts you I am going to kill him. And no one will ever know what happened to him. I know people Kogane.”

“I’m sure you do.” Keith opened the door and said; “I’ll see you guys in a couple weeks.” The first of the small venues they were going to play was in LA. After a few other small venues they wanted to try a couple of big arenas. Robert wanted to see how the first shows went. Keith ran a hand across his face, “Seriously, I do love you guys. And I am glad we get to do this again… together.”

Rolo waved as he walked away, already working on lighting a cigarette. “Us too K, us too.”

Keith shut the door and locked it gently, and then headed to the kitchen, where Lance was still taking in the view. Moving up behind him Keith wrapped his arms around Lance’s waist and nuzzled his face into his neck. “Hey.” He said simply.

Lance rested his arms on Keith’s. “Hi.”

“Tired?”

“Exhausted.” Lance hummed, “Wanna go to bed?”

“We probably should.”

Lance turned in Keith’s arms and touched one of Keith’s cheeks. “Hey.” He said again.

Keith felt a grin break open his face. “Hi.”

They stood there for a long moment just drinking each other in. “To bed?” Lance all but whispered, stroking Keith’s cheek.

Instead of responding Keith grabbed Lance’s hand and they walked to their bedroom. _Their bedroom._ Keith wondered if he would ever get used to that… or if he would even have a chance to.

Once in the room they lazily pulled their clothes off until they were down to their boxers. Lance fell on the mattress. “God, what a day.” He groaned. Keith giggled and lay next to Lance on the bed. Lance cracked open one eye so he could look at Keith, “I can’t even imagine what it was like for you.”

“Hm. It wasn’t bad. Didn’t cry half as much as expected.”

Lance laughed and rolled over so he could pull Keith to his chest. “I’m proud of you.” He said quietly.

“Proud?”

“It took a lot to come here. To sit in that room and makes plans like nothing had ever happened.” Lance kissed the top of Keith’s head, “You are so kick ass.”

A laugh bubbled out of Keith’s throat. “I’m glad.”

“That you’re kick ass?”

“Yeah.” Keith thought for a moment, “The guys like you.”

“Do they?”

Bracing up on his elbows Keith stared down at Lance. “Yeah, they really did. And you already know that I’ve never really had anything or anyone serious before. But you… they could tell you are different.” Swallowing he pushed ahead, “They’ve never approved of _anyone_ before.”

Lance reached up and pushed some hair out of Keith’s face. “Well that’s good. Because I don’t plan on leaving anytime soon. Or… ever.”

Then they just stared at each other, a world of possibility stretching out before them. Once again Keith was incapable of speech, so instead, he just kissed Lance. Kissed him and kissed him and kissed him…

_Lance_

6 Months Later

“So, you’re really leaving then?” Gary asked, his expression showing clear disappointment, even through the computer screen.

“My time at _Breath_ was up a long time ago boss. I just didn’t want to admit it.”

“Well,” Gary huffed and adjusted his glasses. “We certainly will miss you my boy.”

“And I’m going to miss _Breath._ ” Lance said. Pausing he fiddled with a pen on his desk, “And thank you, for giving me the opportunity to write for you all those years ago.”

Gary smiled, “Of course. Anyone could see you were shining with potential McClain. Everyone expect you.” He poked at the camera, “Take some time to find your voice again. Because I’ll be damned if you are done writing. The world needs Lance McClain to tell them what’s what.”

“Of course. Thank you, again.”

After a few more minutes of idle chatter Lance ended the video call and closed his laptop, feeling strangely at peace. He thought leaving _Breath_ would completely destroy him. Leave him out to dry even. But he had learned a lot in the last six months.

Staying away from writing had actually proved rather beneficial. That and being heavily involved with Edge and the bands comeback. Lance was currently working on a novel, a very long exposé on Edge of Tomorrow and the ins and outs of the music industry. The book was taking up almost all of Lance’s free time, but he wouldn’t have it any other way.

And it did help that his boyfriend was Edge’s front man. And as it would turn out several publishers had jumped on the chance to be the ones publishing Lance’s book. The writing world had been keeping an eye on Lance for years, and he had gotten more offers than he could count since taking a break from _Breath._ He had played with the idea of staying with _Breath,_ or even trying to get Gary to retire and take over the magazine himself, but those ideas had not lasted long.

Getting this novel put together also required a lot more moving part than Lance had anticipated. What with the bands jaded past and all. Lance also wanted to go back to the start. He interviewed Keith’s high school teachers, venues owners across the country, fans that had been there since day one.

A large portion of the novel also centered on the ongoing court case against Jamie. As of current day he was being charged with three cases of sexual assault, Keith’s included. The actual court date was still months away, and it was still unclear whether or not Keith would have to testify.

When it was announced Jamie was leaving Edge, and when the allegations against him had come out the world was shocked. Not quite as shocked when K had seemingly disappeared off the face of planet, but shocked nonetheless. As Robert had predicted they had lost a fair amount of their fan base, but the ripple was akin to The Jonas Brothers breaking up, or Zayn leaving One Direction.

The tour of playing smaller and intimate shows had worked in Edge’s favor however. Die-hard fans had come out in droves, crying that K had finally returned. And now Keith was working on writing Edge’s comeback album. Several songs had already been recorded and were ready to be released as singles.

And Lance had been there for it all. Recording, writing and taking notes. But he wouldn’t let Keith read any of his rough drafts. He wanted the book to be a surprise. There had been a publisher or two that told him the book was too biased, seeing as he was dating Keith and all. But the people that knew the way Lance wrote knew that this wouldn’t be the case. Lance was coming at the story of Edge from all angles.

He had even gone to prison several times to interview Jamie. Jamie certainly wasn’t happy about his situation or being questioned about it, but he did give Lance some valuable information. Even though Lance had wanted to sink his fist into Jamie’s face during the interviews. And it took a miracle but he had managed to track down Acxa and interview her as well.

Spinning around in his desk chair Lance looked at his mostly empty studio apartment. Only his desk and bed remained. He was finishing moving in with Keith today. A stupid smile spread across Lance’s face. When Keith wasn’t bouncing back and forth between LA and NYC, he was here, in Lance’s hometown. And they were with each other often enough that they figured they might as well move in together. They thought about looking for a new place, but in the end had decided just to do some renovations to Keith’s apartment. They had spent some long nights together pulling up carpet, sanding and staining floors, painting walls and making the place their own.

It did tug on Lance’s heartstrings a bit to leave this place behind. He had lived here for almost four years after all. But hell, he never thought he’d be _moving in_ with someone. After Damien he figured he had had the one great love of his life. But god had he been wrong.

In the past six months Keith had changed Lance’s life in ways he didn’t even think possible. Keith made him laugh; made him smile, made him stupidly angry… but _god_ Lance _loved_ him. So damn much it still scared him. After their first real argument, over Lance going back to _Breath._ Keith thought Lance was being ridiculous and needed to spread his wings. But at that point Lance had only been away from the magazine for about two months and was feeling incredibly insecure. They argued for hours and it ended with Keith slamming out of Lance’s apartment.

They didn’t speak for a couple of days and Lance didn’t realize how badly he needed Keith in his life until he just, wasn’t there anymore. By the end of that argument they were crying into each other’s shirts in Keith’s apartment, apologizing over and over again. They did have some pretty fucking wicked sex after… but Lance never wanted to fight like that again. Now and again they will get into petty fights about simpler things, but they never went to bed angry again.

Speak of the devil, Keith unlocked Lance’s door and poked his head inside. “Hey.” He said, smiling wide, “Ready to go babe?”

Standing up Lance stretched and pulled Keith into the nearly empty apartment. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

Keith smiled and kissed Lance. It was secure and familiar. But Lance knew better than to take it for granted. Pulling back Lance took his boyfriend in. In the past six months his hair had gotten even longer, hanging past his shoulders. He wanted to get it cut soon; he said it was hot and annoying. That always made Lance laugh. Very recently he’d gotten his neck tattoos freshened up, so they stood out even more. It drove Lance fucking crazy. “You’re so goddamn beautiful, you know that?” He whispered.

Keith rolled his eyes but Lance saw a touch of red on his ears. “You are the one that’s not fair. And I get to _live_ with you.” He answered dramatically. Lance smirked and kissed Keith again, pulling him in close by the waist. “The movers are gunna be here for your shit soon…” Keith mumbled against Lance’s lips.

“Free show.” Lance answered. Keith laughed fully then, separating them.

“Have I mentioned today that you are ridiculous and I hate you?”

“Only about six times.” Lance pulled away and put his laptop in his backpack. He was going to leave his keys with his landlord so she could let the movers into the apartment for the last bits of furniture. Some dude in the next town over bought the pieces and needed them by the end of the day. Lance took one last look around the apartment, touching a wall near the door. “It feels weird saying goodbye to this place.”

Keith kissed his cheek, “When I left my place in NYC I thought no where would ever feel like home again. But then I found you.”

“God,” Lance drawled, “Do your fans know you are this fucking cheesy?” But he was eating it up. Plus, he agreed. He had always felt so listless, and then Keith came into his life and things seemed to click into place. Cheesy, yes, but so wonderful at the same time.

“Even if you told them they wouldn’t believe you.” Keith said.

After another long minute Lance turned out the light and closed the door to the apartment. Twenty minutes later they were arranging the last of Lance’s clothes in the new closet they had built in Keith’s place. They both had their own side, though Keith’s was mostly cut off t-shirts and black jeans on hangers. Lance’s side was a little more colorful. Lots of blue and fun patterns.

Keith plopped down on their bed and groaned, stretching his neck. “You have so much shit babe.”

Lance joined Keith on the bed and kissed his forehead. Staring at him Lance felt that overwhelming feeling in the back of his throat. “Keith.” He said, making sure he had his attention. “Have I mentioned today that I love you?”

Keith gasped and sat up fully, staring down at his boyfriend. Lance grimaced and picked at the bedspread. “Ah, yeah. Way to go McClain, make the first day we live together super fucking awkward.”

“What the _fuck.”_ Keith said, he pulled Lance up and kissed him, hard. “God, of course I love you too.” He said, and Lance realized he was crying. “Took you fucking long enough McClain.”

Lance found that he was laughing, “I was scared.”

“I can’t believe you told me you loved me for the first when I’m sweaty and gross and exhausted, you absolute _ass.”_ Keith was dropping kisses all over Lance’s face now.  


Lance pulled Keith close and kissed his neck. “I mean I could’ve waited until you were in the shower.”

“I love you, Lance McClain, holy shit I love you.”

“I love you too, Keith Kogane. More than you will ever know.”

_Keith_

2 Months Later

GIVE US K! GIVE US K! GIVE US K!

Keith swallowed thickly. Ben and Rolo were already out on stage, waving and smiling to the fans. They were playing Madison Square Garden. _Fucking Madison Square Garden._ This was the first time Edge had been here, and Robert figured it wouldn’t be the last.

This was the first big show they’ve played since Edge made their comeback as well. The small venue shows had gone so well the label was perfectly ready to give the fans what they want. And Keith thought he was ready for this, but now that thousands of people were screaming his name he felt like he couldn’t move. Ben and Rolo played and tapped out a couple of cords and rhythms to keep the audience entertained.

The crowd was almost rioting at this point and Keith could feel all that energy from the tips to his toes to his brain. The stadium felt like it was vibrating. Keith’s purple guitar was perfectly tuned but he felt his fingers shake. The small shows were a little easier; there weren’t as many people to disappoint. But here… shit it could all go wrong so fast.

“Hey.” Lance’s voice sounded in his ear. “You can do this babe,” He pressed a kiss to the side of Keith’s neck, “They’re practically foaming at the mouth.” Lance’s mouth moved back to Keith’s ear, “Honestly… I’m a little jealous.”

Keith snorted and maneuvered his head so he could look at Lance. “You are completely ridiculous, you know that?”

“But you love it.” Lance fully turned Keith so he could place his hands on his shoulders. “I know you’re nervous. But all those people are excited to see _you._ To see _Edge._ They’ve been waiting months for this.”

“Making it worsseee…” Keith said nervously. 

“Well,” Lance moved his lips back to Keith’s ear, “I did get us a room on a different floor than the rest of the guys… and you know I _adore_ watching you perform.” Lance felt Keith shiver and smirked, “You can do this. If you don’t wanna do it for them… do it for me.”

Keith rolled his eyes and pulled back so he could quickly kiss Lance. “I’ll see you before the encore.”

With that he jumped up and down a few times, slapped his cheeks and then walked out on stage. For a split second it seemed like the crowd when completely silent, and then the screaming doubled in volume. Keith felt the cheering in his bones. Ben was laughing, slapping Keith on the back. Rolo was pounding on the drums, cheering loudly.

K! K! K! K!

The chanting continued as Keith made his way over to the mic center stage. He stood looking out at the crowd, and pride and love surged up in his gut. Tears welled up in his eyes and he clapped a hand over his mouth. He heard the crowd let out a collective, “AW”. Keith didn’t show emotion often, so he knew videos of this moment would be all over the Internet mere minutes after the show was over.

His hand went to the mic, and he saw that it was shaking. Tears spilled out his eyes and the crowd quieted so they could hear what he was going to say. “Hey. Hi guys.” His voice cracked and he found that he couldn’t even be embarrassed. He was met with intense screams. “Holy shit. Y’all didn’t hold back, did you?”

Ben and Rolo laughed, but as Keith glanced at them he saw they were just as emotional as he was. “So. Welcome to the new Edge.” Keith laughed and ran a hand through his hair. “I am so glad to be back. To the band… to this. You guys are the best humans in the world for supporting us. For sticking by us.”

Keith looked off stage and saw Lance standing in the wings, a huge smile on his face. He was shaking his head and Keith realized that Lance was crying too. God he loved that man. Loved him more than all the stars in the universe. Turning back to the crowd he said, “We’re going to play some new stuff for y’all tonight. And a new album is on the way. And I fucking _wicked_ excited for you guys to hear it.”

He faced his best friends and quirked a brow at Rolo. “You ready?” He asked. His fingers danced over the strings of his guitar.

“Been ready asshole.” Rolo raised his sticks above his head and slammed them together and then they ripped into a brand new song.

The longer they played the more Keith let loose and just felt the music. He was aware of the crowd, of the screams and chants. When they played classic songs the arena rumbled as the crowd sang along. New songs brought tears to peoples eyes and they screamed and yelled all the same.

By the time they left the stage before the encore Keith was horse, sweaty and riding on adrenaline. Someone passed him a bottle of water and he chugged it. A towel landed on his head and Lance was rubbing it through his hair. “Holy _shit.”_ Lance said. Keith turned to face him and laughed at the expression on Lance’s face.

“What?”

“I get to _date_ you. You’re my _boyfriend.”_ Lance laughed a bit and leaned in to kiss Keith, sweat and all. “You are fucking incredible. I love you.”

Keith laughed and wrapped an arm around Lance’s waist. “I love you too.”

They stood talking for a second longer before stagehands were ushering the band back out on stage. They played through the encore and Keith cried during the last song. He went to the mic before leaving the stage and said, “I love you all. You have no idea. And I can’t wait for you to see what we have in store.” Waving he rushed off the stage and back into Lance’s arms. “Hey.” He croaked. His voice was nearly gone at this point. While he had been used to singing backing vocals when they performed, singing lead was new. Ben helped him with the more screamo bits, but it was all new.

Lance was laughing and bumping fists with the guys. After a few minutes they made their way to the green room where they all collapsed on couches. Ben opted for sprawling out facedown on the floor.

“That was literally fucking insane. Holy GOD.” Rolo rasped. All three of them had gone above and beyond tonight. And it had paid off. Rolo pulled out his phone and texted something to someone.

Keith’s phone vibrated and he pulled it out of his pocket. A text from Rolo beeped out at him. Curious Keith opened it and found an image. It was a picture of Keith and Lance, and it had to have been taken right before the encore. Their foreheads were pressed together and Keith’s arm was around Lance’s waist. Both of them were smiling ear to ear, and while Keith’s eyes were closed Lance’s were open and he was staring at Keith in complete and utter adoration.

He looked up at Rolo and found his friend grinning slyly at him. “Its _perfect_ for Instagram.” Rolo drawled.

Rolling his eyes Keith nudged Lance and showed him his phone. Lance eyed it for a second before leaning in to kiss Keith softly. “Send that to me.” He whispered.

***

Many hours later Keith lay awake in the hotel bed, staring at Lance. They had gone at it for a _long_ time. Lance hadn’t been joking around when he said watching Keith perform turned him on.

He stroked a finger across Lance’s cheek and grinned when Lance smiled softly in his sleep. Keith reached for his phone and scrolled back to the picture Rolo had taken of them. The picture made Keith’s insides twirl.

Carefully he clicked on Instagram and went through the process of posting a picture. The first picture he will have posted in months. When it came to the caption Keith let his thumbs over his phone screen for a long minute. Glancing back at Lance, the man that changed him, the man that loved him unconditionally no matter what.

He typed out a caption and set his phone down on the nightstand and curled into Lance’s side, breathing him in. “I love you.” He whispered.

Back on the nightstand his phone blew up with notifications, Keith’s simple caption inspiring photo-shoots and tattoos for months to come.

_You saved me._

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, if you got this far god bless you. Lemme explain some of my inspiration for this fic. 
> 
> So, I created a Music Journalism major at my University, the first of its kind. So yes, I applied a lot of my struggles onto Lance. Unfortunately I have not been as lucky as Lance, I only have a really godawful online blog that some of my past professors read. But like Lance, I just want to be involved in the music industry in anyway I can.
> 
> Hence, Keith's character. I am lucky enough to know some really incredible bands throughout the music industry, and they have really opened my eyes to what it takes to make it big in that industry. One of my favorite bands is called Bad Omens, and I've been following them since they were smaller. And if you are curious as to what Keith's tattoos may look like, I point you to the lead singer of Bad Omens. Noah is basically cover in ink and I think it's wicked cool. He's also just a real chill dude. 
> 
> Edge of Tomorrow's sound could also be chalked up to a combination of Bad Omens, Bloodline, I Prevail, and Bring Me to the Horizon. For the longest time I didn't like metal core music or anything that could be considered "intense" or "screamo". Bad Omens changed that for me. So I thought it would be cool to make Edge a "borderline" band. 
> 
> The other band that I would consider to be a top band for me would be The 1975, hence the references to Matty Healy, the lead singer. Would Matty ever actually hang out with metal core musicians like Keith? Probably not, but once again I did say this was completely self-indulgent. 
> 
> The song Keith is singing in his record store is called Cautious, by a band called Emarosa. I had that song on repeat the day I wrote that section so I wanted to sneak it in. 
> 
> Again, if you read this, bless you. And don't be afraid to try some new music, or maybe even find a new direction for your life to go in. Nothing is permanent, nothing is stagnant. There is possibility everywhere.


End file.
